Bottoming From the Top

[Netzach]

Anyone ever done it?

surely some of you serve the switchy, the mutable, the post-label.

And I can't be the only Top who's ever said "fuck this, I want my Mommy....hey, can you be my Mommy this week, Mister?"

Graduate applications need to be in in 2 weeks. I'm a mess. M is large and in charge for the first time ever. Reading Carrie's Story in my spare hours on the plane didn't help at all, either. (A book about "O" if "O" were a kvetchy Berkley Comparitive Lit Phd I can relate to all too well.)

I don't think he likes it, he doesn't think he likes it, he's not sure.

But he didn't seem to mind the savage ultrafucking I got a couple nights ago. And I didn't either. And when I knee-jerk said "NO" to some minor thing last night at the Thai place he sure sounded like a bitch when he said "what did you just say?"

I want my Mommy.(back to the portfolio)

 

[catalina_francisco]

Sorry, as a slave I can't help too much at this point, but it sure sounds an interesting concept and a brave step, and I am sure we are all going to learn a lot from your sharing. From what we know of you, I am sure you will survive and excel.

Catalina http://www.logtenberg.info/rozen/roos06.gif

 

[Netzach]

I've done it before, c, and well. You'd probably be surprised at what an accomodating and perfectionist pleaser I can be. But excellence, excellence is sometimes a sheild, perfectionism is sometimes a protection, don't you think?

Like I have said, I don't think the ability to submit makes a submissive, I think the need to submit more often than not does. I've gone three...no, four years without a a good thrashing. Going three months without giving one, that would be unthinkable.

But the issue is not so much "is Netz turning the ass cheek?"

I want to fuck up, be flawed, get punished. I want the accountability right now, because the accountability to just me isn't pushing me far enough foward.

Netzach, control freak, meet Netzach, approval junkie.
Hi there, nice to meet you.

 

[Etoile]

Yay, another opportunity for me to voice my opinion that it's a good idea for everyone to switch at least once in their lifetime. I think you cannot truly appreciate what your top does for you (or what your sub does for you) if you don't try it out just once. I know there are people who are going to say "oh nooooo, I am much too subby, I could never do it" - because I've brought this up before, and that's been the response - but I still think it's a good idea. It's a fuck of a lot of work to be a top, and a bottom won't truly appreciate it until he or she has tried it once. It takes a lot of work to be the sub, too - all that pleasing and performing and getting it right! - and a top would be more appreciative of the effort their slave puts in if they tried it just once.

 

[s'lara]

i can relate to wanting to be accountable to another. The expectations ... well, living up to the expectations of a strong individual always galvanized me into action -- go-go gadget-girl on a serving high.

i hunkered down, narrowed my vision and touched everything with the foreknowledge that if it didn't turn out to the level of quality the Dominant expected, i would lose the right to hear "good girl" or "nicely done" or even the complaint-lacking silence that i knew vibrated with satisfaction at my completing the task to the letter of the request.

That serving high made my mouth dry and i liked it.

i love the focus i have when i set my mind to a task and complete it ... self satisfaction and a nice little "all right" is about the extent of back-patting i will allow myself. But the relief in knowing that i am unable to allow myself a moments procrastination or even the right to delay the task a day due to the inability to focus ... well, that is Momma's breast offering warmth, comfort and nourishment. There's enjoyment in failure as well ... punishments are their own elixir. A completely different matter though.

Kudos Netzach. i don't believe i am switchable, but admire those who feel comfortable enough to try it/need it from time to time. i say admire because bottom to Top (and enjoying it) has got to be like getting the magician to share his/her secrets.

Keep us up to date on how this plays out and how it affects those graduate applications. i love the "What did you just say?" ... that made me laugh and say well look who got comfortable real quick.

lara

 

[catalina_francisco]

I've done it before, c, and well. You'd probably be surprised at what an accomodating and perfectionist pleaser I can be. But excellence, excellence is sometimes a sheild, perfectionism is sometimes a protection, don't you think?

Like I have said, I don't think the ability to submit makes a submissive, I think the need to submit more often than not does. I've gone three...no, four years without a a good thrashing. Going three months without giving one, that would be unthinkable.

But the issue is not so much "is Netz turning the ass cheek?"

I want to fuck up, be flawed, get punished. I want the accountability right now, because the accountability to just me isn't pushing me far enough foward.

Netzach, control freak, meet Netzach, approval junkie.
Hi there, nice to meet you.

LOL, yes I can identify with the flawed need, and the difference between submitting for submissions sake and the need to submit. It can be an iontoxicating force at times. I also think illusions of excellence and perfection are used in a variety of clever ways to hide and keep us at times from reaching our full potential. The reality is in the eyes of the beholder, and that reality usually demands an ever changing benchmark to keep it interesting and free of stagnation.

Catalina

 

[wolf2002]

... it's a good idea for everyone to switch at least once in their lifetime.

Yeah, that's what I thought as well... and now I can;t get enough of it... it's addicting...

So Netzach, be careful, you might like it so much you never want to switch back...

 

[MissTaken]

I bottom from the top on MY terms.

So, is it truly bottoming?

I do understand the conflicting desires though.

 

[Netzach]

well, yeah it begs that question.

Whatever it is though it's not the same as smacking your bitch up, is it?

 

[MissTaken]

well, yeah it begs that question.

Whatever it is though it's not the same as smacking your bitch up, is it?

No....THAT is HOT!

 

[Netzach]

So when you KNOW you can flip them and get what you want, when you KNOW that all you have to do is issue that word, give that look or say "we're done" if you don't like your just desserts, when you could have them begging in a minute...

if you wanted, if you didn't feel like such a dumbshit for opting out, and you don't...

is that like, being really *really* good?

 

[MissTaken]

So when you KNOW you can flip them and get what you want, when you KNOW that all you have to do is issue that word, give that look or say "we're done" if you don't like your just desserts, when you could have them begging in a minute...

if you wanted, if you didn't feel like such a dumbshit for opting out, and you don't...

is that like, being really *really* good?

Well, it could be percieved as being really good or just being a really nice Dominant?

What a conundrum!

 

[Etoile]

Well, it could be percieved as being really good or just being a really nice Dominant?

What a conundrum!

I don't see it as being really nice at all. I don't want to dominate for myself, but I would do it if my top wanted me to. If my top were holding back when he or she really wanted to tell me to stop, I'd be disappointed in him or her. I'm not doing this for me, so there's no "being nice" in letting me continue. Just my thoughts!

 

[MissTaken]

I don't see it as being really nice at all. I don't want to dominate for myself, but I would do it if my top wanted me to. If my top were holding back when he or she really wanted to tell me to stop, I'd be disappointed in him or her. I'm not doing this for me, so there's no "being nice" in letting me continue. Just my thoughts!

I guess that would depend highly on the submissive's needs and desires. A switchy sub might enjoy an opportunity to play at being top.

I am sorry if my posts were taken to be too all inclusive or too light.

 

[Saint_Sinner]

In this case, my question would be one about where both people are left the next day? Would there be a change in attitude or respect?

 

[MissTaken]

It would depend on the partners involved, the communication prior to the switching episode and if the partners were in a long term relationship and switching within the context of that relationship. I do think it is easier when switching to be someone other than your long term sub when the need to switch arises.

However, I haven't tested that theory and at this point, trust only my submissive to engage in topping me. When he has, there is no change in demeanor the next day. He views it as a role played for his Mistress' pleasure.

When I was strictly bottoming, I can say that there were a couple of times when a Dominant would turn the tables and want me to top Him without notice, without discussion. I tried, but in that case, yes, I felt very let down and very uncomfortable in the scene.

I don't know if I am making sense, but there you have it.

 

[Etoile]

However, I haven't tested that theory and at this point, trust only my submissive to engage in topping me. When he has, there is no change in demeanor the next day. He views it as a role played for his Mistress' pleasure.

I agree completely with MissT. First, I wouldn't want my top involved with somebody else, that would feel like cheating. I'd also be disappointed that my top felt I didn't have it within me to provide for all of his or her needs. My goal is to serve completely, even if that means stepping outside my comfort zone or doing things I'm not normally accustomed to doing.

 

[Netzach]

I don't see it as being really nice at all. I don't want to dominate for myself, but I would do it if my top wanted me to. If my top were holding back when he or she really wanted to tell me to stop, I'd be disappointed in him or her. I'm not doing this for me, so there's no "being nice" in letting me continue. Just my thoughts!

Etoile, if you're submitting does that involve holding back your immediate wishes when you'd really rather not do something?

So, maybe I want that experience on a small scale.

 

[Netzach]

Saint Sinner, I'm sure for a lot of people there would be.


I choose not to involve myself with submissives who'd be crushed by the thought that I might want to bottom. The nice and generous, social part of me would say "different strokes" but there's a part of me that would feel that it's a subtle manipulation on the part of the bottom to create me in the image they want to see.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

Anyone ever done it?

Yes and hated it...when I tried d/s with a vanilla partner, i had to top from the bottom.

I'm so much happier now with the experience of actually subbing


you can't really get lost in the sensation when you're still essentially giving directions.

If I'm bottoming, I want to be the bottom, damn it.

 

[Etoile]

Etoile, if you're submitting does that involve holding back your immediate wishes when you'd really rather not do something?

So, maybe I want that experience on a small scale.

Yes, there are many things I'd rather not do that I do anyway. Sometimes it's just a minor thing - "oh, I don't want to [whatever] right now, can't we take a nap?" - but sometimes it's more major - I'm really not into rimming, but I've done it because it's been asked of me.