Booty Call

G

Guest

Guest
Feel free to use this document at your connivance.






This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on this _____ day of _____________________, 2004, between __________________________ and __________________________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we do not have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I do not want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the fuck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
19. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
Only the holder of the agreement may alter the aforementioned rules. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.


1stParty
Signature_______________________________________Date:__________
2nd Party
Signature_______________________________________Date:__________


:) Jmt
 
jmt, what about a paragraph for possible bring-along-friends-for-a-threesome, or one for special-leather-outfits-with-matching-tools?
 
Your right, I should not have left out the more adventurous folks.

I'll put it in the next revision.

J
 
jmt said:
Your right, I should not have left out the more adventurous folks.

I'll put it in the next revision.

J
Gotta admire such a plain-spoken but broad-minded individual.

Rumple Foreskin
 
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