Books, women and vibrators

[glynndah]

I have noticed lately that many of the mainstream contemporary romances that I read now refer to the heroines as using vibrators. No actual portrayal of the use, but it is mentioned. Maybe they are in the book to show that the woman is no prude and is sexually interested and receptive. I think the devices are generally vibrators because batteries and sometimes vibrators themselves are mentioned.As soon as the hero enters the picture, the vibrators are shoved back into the closet with the ratty sweat shirts and the granny panties. I can remember one book utilizing a vibrator in sex play but it was stroked along her thigh or something like that. (Rather like the ads in the magazines that show the vibrator along her cheek!) The implication is that real men don't need any help in the orgasm department and that the device is now obsolete.

My question is this: Are vibrators and other sexual aids "romantic"? When would or did you introduce them into a new relationship? (Yes, I realize that romance novels shouldn't be used as guides to romance in reality anymore than porno should be used as sex education.)

 

[Vixandra]

Can't say I've used them in a new relationship but I used them in a relationship when they were new to me.
And I must say, to get oneself off a vibe helps.
In the hands of a lover who knows one's body, omg its great.

I must be behind on the latest romance novels, I don't remember any of them mentioning vibes.

 

[glynndah]

Many of the newer contemporary ones do, and the Blaze series from Harlequin does, also. (Yes, I know that knowledge puts me firmly in the hopelessly "unhip" and probably "trailer trash" categories. )

 

[LadyJeanne]

Vibrators are really fun with a partner who loves to see you turned on. You need a lot of communication so he understands what kind of pressure and movements, etc., with that particular vibrator, but it's awesome.

Depending on the vibe, you can use them while you're having intercourse to help you come that way if you need clit stimulation. Or, they can be used to tease and get you revved up for oral or PIV sex. Or, they can be used to get you to climax.

Basically, they're toys. And if you and your partner like to play together, you'll love it. Some guys are apparently threatened by vibrators, but I've only used them with one partner and he considered vibrators as one more way to get me off or get me excited. He actually brought it up during a "things we like and/or want to try" conversation.

Shop for one together with your partner - it's fun!

 

[Scepter]

The implication is that real men don't need any help in the orgasm department and that the device is now obsolete.

IMHO the only men who would feel threatened by a vibrator or a dildo are the ones that feel sexually inadequate or are insecure.
Real men will do whatever they can to please a lady.

 

[Cathleen]

I was talking to a male friend about this the other night. I forget how the subject came up, but I asked if he and his wife used toys. He enthusiastically said yes! He loved using them. Much like Lady Jeanne said, he loved to see his wife use them, to see how she reacts - they both enjoy using them in their sexual relationship.

I've never had the opportunity - yet. I'd hope he wouldn't see it as a negative, in fact I'd do my best to make sure he didn't.

 

[MagicFingers]

What?

Porno shouldn't be used as sex education?

They always have to tone down those books to reach the purient readers.

 

[devils_daughter]

I can't really say toys are "romantic", they're more for the times when sex is all animalistic and lustful.

 

[CorsetLvr]

Vibrtator play with a partner is a major part of my sex life, but I will say from my experience when I was single that a lot of more insecure men are threatened by them. I have had more then a few say, "what do we need that for, aren't I enough for you?" or something along those lines. Personally, I love my vibrating egg on my clit while a guy is in me. Its a sure fire recipe for a really intense orgasm for me. The key is to find the right guy to share that sort of experience with.

Just for the record, my hubby really likes the egg too.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I can't really say toys are "romantic", they're more for the times when sex is all animalistic and lustful.

They certainly are fun when the sex is more 'animal' but I think vibrators can also add to the romance. If a partner is using one you, the communicaton required between the two of you makes for a very intimate encounter, complete with eye contact and laughing and whispered, "I love watching your face as you get turned on", etc. There's also something very romantic about him looking into my eyes as I get close to orgasm and then go over the edge. And if you think it's romantic to come together during PIV sex, especially if you're face to face, then the vibrator really helps make that happen.

I think romance is all about attitude, and to me, it's very romantic that my guy wants to pleasure me and wants to use all the options available to get me excited. So, I probably go into it thinking it's both sexy and romantic.

 

[CorsetLvr]

I think romance is all about attitude, and to me, it's very romantic that my guy wants to pleasure me and wants to use all the options available to get me excited. So, I probably go into it thinking it's both sexy and romantic.

Very well said LJ.