Purple Haze
Literally Stimulated
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2000
- Posts
- 19,290
Many people have written to me, asking how they can possibly be the biggest dipshit poster on the Literotica boards. Well it isn't easy, there's a lot of staunch competition out there already, but if you're willing to learn a few techniques and apply them, there's definitely hope for you.
1. Going Unregistered The easiest way to be a dipshit, if you can figure out how to log out. Using this technique, you can attack another member without accountability. If your opinion on something greatly differs with the board as a whole, you don't have to worry about anybody thinking you have a mind of your own, and your dipshit friends will still like you. Look for a couple of these in this thread.
2. Multiple User Names A great way to offer support to your own opinions. There's strength in numbers, and if no one wants to talk to you, you can carry on a conversation all by yourself. Nifty.
3. Chatspeak treat the board like a chatroom bi intentionally mispelling wurds and using no capitalization or punctuation whatsover your dipshit frends wil bee so impressed with u if u shorten phrases like i am a fucking dipshit poster with IAAFDP. this is a clear indication that you probably don't bathe regularily brush your teeth or wipe your but
4. Signature Lines Make sure they are always longer than your posts.
5. Change Your Avatar Daily There are lots of nude pics on the internet, many that don't even look like you. Start a thread about your avatar, have people vote on it. Discuss avatars. Be your avatar.
6. Adopt A Dolly If you still have one of these, you don't need to read any further.
7. Keep King Dipshit's Thread On Page One Respond to trolls, give them the attention they deserve. Put the troll in his place, if you're scared of him, go unregistered. Be a bigger dipshit than King Dipshit. Start a thread about how much you hate King Dipshit.
8. Clutter Your Posts With Quotes Make sure everyone knows what you're responding to, even if the post you are responding to is right before yours, even if you are the only ones in the thread. Quote, quote, quote.
9. Start A Thread About How Bored You Are We all give a shit.
10. Paste Articles From Questionable News Sources Pretend you wrote it.
11. Take Pride In Your Ignorance Wear it like a badge of courage. Don't let anyone tell you anything different. If they do, attack them personally. Call them a fuckface.
12. Take Pride In Your Post Totals Congratulate other members for not having a life. Woohoo!
13. Start Twelve Threads A Day Make sure they are about the same subject. Better yet, start a thread continuing an arguement from another thread and leave everyone that doesn't read every single thread wondering. Title a thread with half of a sentence............I Was Wondering If......Just Asking If.....dipshits will click on these. Start a thread about your favorite sheetrock. We all can relate.
14. Do One Of The Above Or add your own dipshit techniques on this thread.
1. Going Unregistered The easiest way to be a dipshit, if you can figure out how to log out. Using this technique, you can attack another member without accountability. If your opinion on something greatly differs with the board as a whole, you don't have to worry about anybody thinking you have a mind of your own, and your dipshit friends will still like you. Look for a couple of these in this thread.
2. Multiple User Names A great way to offer support to your own opinions. There's strength in numbers, and if no one wants to talk to you, you can carry on a conversation all by yourself. Nifty.
3. Chatspeak treat the board like a chatroom bi intentionally mispelling wurds and using no capitalization or punctuation whatsover your dipshit frends wil bee so impressed with u if u shorten phrases like i am a fucking dipshit poster with IAAFDP. this is a clear indication that you probably don't bathe regularily brush your teeth or wipe your but
4. Signature Lines Make sure they are always longer than your posts.
5. Change Your Avatar Daily There are lots of nude pics on the internet, many that don't even look like you. Start a thread about your avatar, have people vote on it. Discuss avatars. Be your avatar.
6. Adopt A Dolly If you still have one of these, you don't need to read any further.
7. Keep King Dipshit's Thread On Page One Respond to trolls, give them the attention they deserve. Put the troll in his place, if you're scared of him, go unregistered. Be a bigger dipshit than King Dipshit. Start a thread about how much you hate King Dipshit.
8. Clutter Your Posts With Quotes Make sure everyone knows what you're responding to, even if the post you are responding to is right before yours, even if you are the only ones in the thread. Quote, quote, quote.
9. Start A Thread About How Bored You Are We all give a shit.
10. Paste Articles From Questionable News Sources Pretend you wrote it.
11. Take Pride In Your Ignorance Wear it like a badge of courage. Don't let anyone tell you anything different. If they do, attack them personally. Call them a fuckface.
12. Take Pride In Your Post Totals Congratulate other members for not having a life. Woohoo!
13. Start Twelve Threads A Day Make sure they are about the same subject. Better yet, start a thread continuing an arguement from another thread and leave everyone that doesn't read every single thread wondering. Title a thread with half of a sentence............I Was Wondering If......Just Asking If.....dipshits will click on these. Start a thread about your favorite sheetrock. We all can relate.
14. Do One Of The Above Or add your own dipshit techniques on this thread.
