Blocking users

[alohadave]

Why just block them? Why not throw them into the fire? Why not eliminate all these unkind reviewers, these bullies who always insist on expressing their disapproving opinions? That way, we would have a quiet and warm environment where everyone can enjoy mutual praise and butt-licking, if you're willing to give up any trace of authenticity and bend over, that is.



As expected, you understand what is convenient for you. Obviously, there are nice people; they just don't declare themselves as such or demand others to be. They also tend to stay far away from such platforms.

Hey Tilan, looks like you kept an account in reserve.

 

[XerXesXu]

I hope this is explanation enough because I find the tone of your posts off-putting enough not to engage with you further. Have a nice day now, and try to be polite to anyone else still bothering with you.

This sounds all too familiar.

I agree with the approach you quote, it demonstrates good social skills, which, inevitably, many people will lack.

If someone unloads in my ear, I was taught to respond thus:
'Really. Do you think it'll rain today?' or,
'Fascinating. I see someone over there I really need to speak to. Do excuse me, I've enjoyed our chat.'

Some people, however, aren't socially skilful and find themselves provoked.

Additionally, I can see that there're, broadly, two groups of people in AH; those who were brought up in an 'everybody gets a prize' culture, and those brought up in 'the school of hard knocks.' The two don't mix well.

The former believe criticism should be 'constructive', leavening shortcomings with praise for what has been achieved, the latter believe that the emphasis should be on the failure to achieve, which should be accompanied by motivational words. Compare a school teacher and a drill sergeant, a doting grandmother and a father who's ambitious for you.

Shouldn't there be room in the AH for both schools, even if you may not be able to sympathise with one or the other?

 

[JBoy1952]

 

[AwkwardlySet]

This sounds all too familiar.

I agree with the approach you quote, it demonstrates good social skills, which, inevitably, many people will lack.

If someone unloads in my ear, I was taught to respond thus:
'Really. Do you think it'll rain today?' or,
'Fascinating. I see someone over there I really need to speak to. Do excuse me, I've enjoyed our chat.'

Some people, however, aren't socially skilful and find themselves provoked.

Additionally, I can see that there're, broadly, two groups of people in AH; those who were brought up in an 'everybody gets a prize' culture, and those brought up in 'the school of hard knocks.' The two don't mix well.

The former believe criticism should be 'constructive', leavening shortcomings with praise for what has been achieved, the latter believe that the emphasis should be on the failure to achieve, which should be accompanied by motivational words. Compare a school teacher and a drill sergeant, a doting grandmother and a father who's ambitious for you.

Shouldn't there be room in the AH for both schools, even if you may not be able to sympathise with one or the other?

I agree with you to a point; I also believe that there are different approaches to reviewing, criticizing, and commenting, more than those two polar opposites you mentioned, and I believe they can coexist peacefully. But still, there is no reason for any approach, no matter how harshly criticizing it is, not to be polite. That comment Tilan linked most certainly wasn't polite. We write stories that are free for everyone to read so I'd say we earned that much, at least.

 

[XerXesXu]

I agree with you to a point; I also believe that there are different approaches to reviewing, criticizing, and commenting, more than those two polar opposites you mentioned, and I believe they can coexist peacefully. But still, there is no reason for any approach, no matter how harshly criticizing it is, not to be polite. That comment Tilan linked most certainly wasn't polite. We write stories that are free for everyone to read so I'd say we earned that much, at least.

Are you suggesting Popthejam is an alt of Tilan or Whackdoddle is an alt of Tilan?

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Are you suggesting Popthejam is an alt of Tilan or Whackdoddle is an alt of Tilan?

Well, the first one kind of admitted Maybe he is just trolling. He does sound like Tilan, though. I don't care either way tbh. Tilan always brought amusement to these boards.

 

[TheSpleen]

If someone unloads in my ear, I was taught to respond thus:
'Really. Do you think it'll rain today?' or,
'Fascinating. I see someone over there I really need to speak to. Do excuse me, I've enjoyed our chat.'

Yes, this would be a good way of responding to prevent more acrimony.

Some people, however, aren't socially skilful and find themselves provoked.

True, and to me that's why it's worth trying one's best to get a point across without being unduly provocative. Frankness doesn't need to be served with a side dish of abuse. Obviously, this doesn't include those who've made it clear they're determined to troll.

Shouldn't there be room in the AH for both schools, even if you may not be able to sympathise with one or the other?

There could be, yes. Sometimes I'm not sure I think of it as being two distinct schools. My experience is that it's just individuals having different communication styles and different ideas of how to be helpful. However we characterize it, I see what you're getting at. My view is that there's room for all flavors of feedback as long as it doesn't tip over into harming someone for providing free entertainment. That's a hard line right there.

 

[onehitwanda]

Additionally, I can see that there're, broadly, two groups of people in AH; those who were brought up in an 'everybody gets a prize' culture, and those brought up in 'the school of hard knocks.' The two don't mix well.

I find the act of writing something and sharing it with others to be an act of extreme vulnerability - I'm sharing my thoughts, one of the most intimate and private things I can share.

I don't see how Robert Lee Ermey shouting "THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH MAGGOT" in my face is going to motivate me to share more / differently

(Yes, I'm exaggerating)

I think that there's a third group that you missed - people who see the effort and say "You tried, and even if it wasn't particularly good you still deserve to be recognised for having a go. Here's how you could make it even better." - similar on the surface to the first school but actually quite different when you consider the nuance.

 

[XerXesXu]

I find the act of writing something and sharing it with others to be an act of extreme vulnerability - I'm sharing my thoughts, one of the most intimate and private things I can share.

I don't see how Robert Lee Ermey shouting "THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH MAGGOT" in my face is going to motivate me to share more / differently

(Yes, I'm exaggerating)

I think that there's a third group that you missed - people who see the effort and say "You tried, and even if it wasn't particularly good you still deserve to be recognised for having a go. Here's how you could make it even better." - similar on the surface to the first school but actually quite different when you consider the nuance.

Certainly, there are degrees of sensitivity. I'd tend to be toward the insensitive end of that spectrum.

 

[onehitwanda]

Certainly, there are degrees of sensitivity. I'd tend to be toward the insensitive end of that spectrum.

To be honest, I used to be a complete cow in my twenties and early thirties. These days I'm a lot mellower and try to be gentler. Call it weathering!

 

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

In this particular case, having read some of those comments, a lot of the "feedback" amounts to "why on earth would anybody make muffins, I hate muffins, everybody ought to hate muffins, you should be making cookies instead".

*poster eats another big tray of muffins*

Well... I kinda disagree.

To me, having read some of OP's stories before looking at the comments, a lot of the "feedback" amounts to: "Why would anybody make trains without breaks? I hate trainwrecks, everybody ought to hate trainwrecks, they KILL people".

*poster can't stop looking at the trainwreck*


*EDIT*
Just to be sure, I'm not calling OP's stories trainwrecks. I'm just trying to point out that readers continue to read stories that infuriate them for the same reason people can't stop looking at trainwrecks. It's the same mechanism.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Polite, really? Read again what he wrote:


She writes about very dark themes; the tags alone could give me a heart attack. So, let's drop the act of being self-righteous. This is a site with explicit content, and readers react based on the material they encounter. Much of the content here doesn't exactly scream "politeness."

I appreciate her authenticity, but she can't expect people to remain indifferent. I want to reiterate and emphasize that, to his credit, he read everything she wrote, something none of the hypocrites above me have done. He also took the time to leave a thoughtful comment, which suggests that whatever he read had a significant impact on him.

Honestly, I'd prefer to receive a detailed comment, even if it's brutal, from someone as direct and honest as him, rather than the brief, polite feedback I've received from dozens of others. "Great job, I enjoyed it" is a polite way of saying, "Meh, it was alright, but it didn't really warrant a full review."

Whackdoodleabout 18 hours ago
What the fuck is wrong with you?
How is this erotic? Reducing grown ass men into dogs? Beating the humanity out of everyone so that they could kill without regret? Happily torturing men they once claimed to love is a bad thing and you should be ashamed of yourself.
It is evident you have no fucking idea what to do, so you double down on each outrageous act in the hope that inspiration will come to you.
It won’t. You’re not good enough.

Swearing is usually the weapon of those who are struggling to come up with rational arguments. All he wanted to say could have been said politely and with a somewhat different tone, and the arguments would only gain in strength. THEN, if the author complained, yeah, it is him being thin-skinned. As I've said, I think posting free stories should earn us at least that much goodwill for readers not to act like abusive assholes.

 

[MajorRewrite]

To be honest, I used to be a complete cow in my twenties and early thirties. These days I'm a lot mellower and try to be gentler. Call it weathering!

Some people mellow as they age, and some people rot. The rotting ones become the stereotypical crotchety old farts who yell at clouds and watch cable news all day.

The rotting old-timers who write Lit stories earn a 2.60 score then come to AH to vent their spleen.

Full disclosure: I’m an old fart who tries to mellow gracefully but occasionally lapses into yelling at clouds.

 

[vividlyyours]

Hello. Is it possible to block somebody? Not on the forums, but on the main site. I have an obsessive hater named Whackdoodle who cannot stop commenting on all of my chapters, spewing vitriol against me personally, and aggressively misunderstanding the material that he is supposedly reading. Most websites with this kind of social function have a block feature. I cannot seem to find one on Lit.

I wonder if that's the same whacko who decided to trash one of my best stories with a personally insulting post and a one-star rating. I think he/she also posts under different accounts or gets friends to do it since it gets a fresh low rating every other day or so. The comments don't get me - I can delete those - by the ratings knock it down on lists.

 

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

Swearing is usually the weapon of those who are struggling to come up with rational arguments. All he wanted to say could have been said politely and with a somewhat different tone, and the arguments would only gain in strength.

Yes, politeness and objectivity make for a better discussion, but the lack thereof does in no way devalue an argument. I swear like a sailor for most of the day because the people I interact with most of the day perceive monitored speech as a sign of being not trustworthy. If my opponent in a discussion becomes emotional and starts swearing, it CAN be a sign of him being an asshole... or it can be a sign that whatever we're talking about just had that much of an effect on him.

As I've said, I think posting free stories should earn us at least that much goodwill for readers not to act like abusive assholes.

Why, though?

If you go into a mall and offer free roasted tarantulas, you're doing a good thing, but you also kinda just have to live with it when people have a strong negative reaction to it despite them being free. And if you post stories on the internet that deal with the humiliation, degradation, and downright torture of nonconsenting individuals, you also just have to live with it if people don't appreciate that shit, and nobody giving a flying fuck about them being for free.

 

[Bamagan]

Some people mellow as they age, and some people rot. The rotting ones become the stereotypical crotchety old farts who yell at clouds and watch cable news all day.

The rotting old-timers who write Lit stories earn a 2.60 score then come to AH to vent their spleen.

Full disclosure: I’m an old fart who tries to mellow gracefully but occasionally lapses into yelling at clouds.

To be fair, those damn clouds don't care what kind of obscene shapes they form. Shameless, vapid vapors.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Go read something of hers, and then we can talk. Until then, Whackdoodle stands on a very high platform above you and your meaningless politeness.

I did read some and then decided it was not for me, but I know what kind of content she writes. I can also see that the appropriate tags are there. Those who dislike harsh femdom, humiliation, cuckolding, and racial play should avoid her stories. It is as simple as that. She didn't force or trick anyone into reading her stuff. I do not approve of kink-shaming, no matter if I personally like or dislike anyone's stories. If you believe the content is in breach of Lit's rules, you can always report it. Live and let live, Tilan

 

[Bamagan]

Yes, politeness and objectivity make for a better discussion, but the lack thereof does in no way devalue an argument.

Does to me. I value those comments at less than zero.

Edit: To clarify, if there's a nickel in a turd, I don't want the nickel badly enough to accept the turd.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Yes, politeness and objectivity make for a better discussion, but the lack thereof does in no way devalue an argument. I swear like a sailor for most of the day because the people I interact with most of the day perceive monitored speech as a sign of being not trustworthy. If my opponent in a discussion becomes emotional and starts swearing, it CAN be a sign of him being an asshole... or it can be a sign that whatever we're talking about just had that much of an effect on him.



Why, though?

If you go into a mall and offer free roasted tarantulas, you're doing a good thing, but you also kinda just have to live with it when people have a strong negative reaction to it despite them being free. And if you post stories on the internet that deal with the humiliation, degradation, and downright torture of nonconsenting individuals, you also just have to live with it if people don't appreciate that shit.

But what if you don't write that type of story, and you still get dumped on, just because someone can. Being anonymous makes some people think that they can say anything they like, without any thought to how unfair or unkind they're being.

 

[madelinemasoch]

She writes about very dark themes; the tags alone could give me a heart attack.

You didn't have to flatter me.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Yes, politeness and objectivity make for a better discussion, but the lack thereof does in no way devalue an argument. I swear like a sailor for most of the day because the people I interact with most of the day perceive monitored speech as a sign of being not trustworthy. If my opponent in a discussion becomes emotional and starts swearing, it CAN be a sign of him being an asshole... or it can be a sign that whatever we're talking about just had that much of an effect on him.

You are mixing real-life kind of interactions with interactions between complete strangers over the internet.

If you go into a mall and offer free roasted tarantulas, you're doing a good thing, but you also kinda just have to live with it when people have a strong negative reaction to it despite them being free. And if you post stories on the internet that deal with the humiliation, degradation, and downright torture of nonconsenting individuals, you also just have to live with it if people don't appreciate that shit, and nobody giving a flying fuck about them being for free.

That is where you are wrong, for two reasons.

First, she clearly stated she is, to continue using your example, selling roasted tarantulas. If you can't read or you don't care to read before you put something in your mouth then all of that is on you, not on her.

Second, one person's roasted tarantulas are another person's cherries dipped in chocolate. Do not presume that everyone has the same taste buds when it comes to erotic fiction.

Once again, live and let live.

 

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

But what if you don't write that type of story, and you still get dumped on, just because someone can. Being anonymous makes some people think that they can say anything they like, without any thought to how unfair or unkind they're being.

Look at it this way:

If you write a story that gets nine favorable comments before that one dude takes a big dump all over your work, that guy is probably an asshole. But if you, like OP, write a story that the vast majority of commenters find downright offensive... then MAYBE they're on to something.

 

[madelinemasoch]

But if you, like OP, write a story that the vast majority of commenters find downright offensive... then MAYBE they're on to something.

OR... maybe I'm onto something.

I didn't know the job I was taking was that of a provocateur, but I fulfilled it to a tee anyways.

In fact, I don't even want to silence the self-styled critics once my head clears. I just want to see how far I could push it. What really bothers me isn't the rudeness but the crudeness their statements portray. It's really obvious they don't understand my work.

Let's take the original comment in question.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?
How is this erotic? Reducing grown ass men into dogs? Beating the humanity out of everyone so that they could kill without regret? Happily torturing men they once claimed to love is a bad thing and you should be ashamed of yourself.

It is evident you have no fucking idea what to do, so you double down on each outrageous act in the hope that inspiration will come to you.
It won’t. You’re not good enough"

He makes it sound like I'm writing about breeding supersoldiers or something. "Kill without regret?" Nobody's going to die. It's not that serious...

Also, there's no torture or outrageous act in the chapter this comment is on. Nothing outrageous happens in it. Somebody who usually gets nothing gets an orgasm, and somebody who's usually alone gets comforted. I actually had one of the girlfriends break the conventions of the setting to go back and comfort her, and I'm still accused of cruelty. In the chapter, said girlfriend actually almost says she loves her cuck, which we know because we're in her POV. The phrase "once claimed to love" doesn't portray a comprehension of what happened in the chapter. She loves her currently. The character in question is also not a man...

The biggest misunderstanding however is this idea that I'm improvising. I had the idea for this specific plot point running through chapters 14-(the unreleased)16 in May. It gets especially ridiculous as a criticism when you consider that I'm doing the opposite of doubling down on the outrageousness–a troubling scenario occurs, and certain people start to act a lot more wholesome, a lot less outrageous.

This is why I can't just chide myself for not taking criticism well. Even to the extent that that's true, the bigger issue here is the way my critics don't understand the material. I'd love a better critic.

 

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

You are mixing real-life kind of interactions with interactions between complete strangers over the internet.

Yes. Because I stopped seeing the difference a long time ago. To me, the way people behave under the protection of anonymity is simply how they truly are. And I try to operate under the assumption that anonymous comments are not exclusively used by trolls to troll, but also by genuine commenters who are simply too lazy to log in. Again, I don't see any merit in devaluing people's opinions simply because they don't wish to engage in a debate after stating their opinions.

That is where you are wrong, for two reasons.

First, she clearly stated she is, to continue using your example, selling roasted tarantulas. If you can't read or you don't care to read before you put something in your mouth then all of that is on you, not on her.

And I'm fairly certain that this is a complete non-argument. To continue using my earlier example, if I place a big fat sign above my stall telling people that I'm offering tarantulas, there will be no less people complaining about me doing so. There will be even more, because it draws the attention of those who, without the big fat sign, would have just walked past my stall without even realizing it offers tarantulas.

Second, one person's roasted tarantulas are another person's cherries dipped in chocolate. Do not presume that everyone has the same taste buds when it comes to erotic fiction.

Once again, live and let live.

Sure. Whatever flips your pancakes, I say. But, again, if you write about topics that intentionally provoke strong emotional responses, you'll just have to live with receiving strong emotional responses.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Exactly! So let those who enjoy cursing and shouting express themselves as they see fit. Don't like it? Delete or ignore it, but don't complain afterward that you're not receiving enough feedback.

If you have the right to complain about her stories in comments, so does she have a right to complain about your comments on this board. You don't have to read this. I don't have to read this. It is not in our faces.

Right now we have the following situation: You (or somebody else) complained about her stories in your comments. She complained about your complaints here. Now you are complaining about her complaining about your complaining. Let's see how far you can take it. I have high hopes.

You might have been raised in Windsor Palace, but most of us weren't, and right now, you're on a sex site, so leave your BS at home.

I am actually King Charles, but it is a secret, so shhh! I like reading naughty things while my butler is touching my royal dong. My hands are too refined for such menial tasks.