BJ's - what am I doing wrong?

[M's girl]

Also, be sure to ask him about coming on you, especially your face, as some men find it disgusting, demeaning, or otherwise a negative act. This was somewhat surprising to me, but I've heard a few comment on how unappealing facials are now, and I believe them.

M loves that. It's not meant to be demeaning on his part at all, he just thinks it's hot and I don't mind it at all. Although I must say that if he would do/want it as an act of humiliation of some sort, then I would object!

Oh... eh.... make sure to close your eyes if and when he gives you a facial. I forgot at one time. It stings..

 

[whatzinaname]

Thank You!!

Thank you all for your suggestions/ information. Trust me when I say, my husband sends his thanks, too.

I had gone to bed wicked early, hours before he got home from work. But I kind of woke up when he crawled in bed and snaked his arm around me, and well, his hands were rather 'restless' so I knew what was on his mind. I usually don't appreciate being woken up for sex, so I think I knocked his socks off when we kissed a little and then I went down on him. Arm across his hip, I could go deep when *I* wanted, and I didn't end up with the unexpected gagging. Lots of variety, lots of saliva....his reaction was so sexy! So when we got to the point where he says I can't hold off any longer and we usually detour to a) oh,oh, my turn now or b) grab a condom, I just told him to go with it. Whoever's suggestion it was, more hand, mouth just on the head of his penis, that worked sooooo much better and him cumming wasn't a problem for me. I happened to have a cherry cough drop on my nightstand, so popped that in my mouth and I was good. I thought it would be sexy to keep kissing him alittle, but he wasn't into that.

You know that smug little smile you get after a job well done (that pun was not intended), well I've been wearing that all morning! So thanks all.

 

[whatzinaname]

If you are as eager to please your man as I think you are, you should be able to pull this off... Make sure he gets you some of the real fine wine though; you deserve it

I don't drink wine, but my favorite sparkling cider would be nice. I"ll have to suggest that to him. Course, then when he brings home a bottle, I'll know what is on his mind.

 

[whatzinaname]

Gosh I was thinking how lucky he is and whether or not it's climax in your mouth or target it another place it is still better then nothing. I have the problem of a wife whom says I am to big (girth wise), a small mouth and the old, I am not any good at it. I keep trying to get just 1 a year and it's not about being able to climax but the act in itself is a great turnon and feels good............ just wishing again for what it was like years ago.

Whats odd is that others have given me blowjobs and never complained like my wife did/does. But then, I never, ever bring up the the other with her as that would be a grave mistake for sure.

I don't know your wife, but that totally describes me until a couple months ago. I don't know if you read my original post, but seriously, he was lucky to get it on his birthday. But our best friends divorced last year and that really made me look differently at my marriage. For me, this is a lifetime commitment and how good it is is up to us to determine. Its been this whole culmination of things that has spilled over to the bedroom. I'm a stay at home mom, so at first I was making extra effort with things around the house - dinner, getting the kids toy disasters picked up before he gets home at night, that kind of stuff. But I am totally blessed with a man who notices and lets me know he notices and apprectiates. And a natural progression of that growing appreciation I had for myself and what I bring to our marriage, has been to the bedroom.

So, I digress for reasons other than liking to hear myself talk...your statement about your wife's complaints caught my attention, not the complaints that you say others didn't have (BTW, good for you for not bringing that up. This relationship is between you two, not past lovers. There is nothing good to be gained by going there) but "the old, I am not any good at it." That was alot of it for me. Because even though he never complained and was thrilled with just a quick lick, I 'knew' there was a gold standard out there and I was not getting it (or giving as it were). So when I decided to treat him with a blow job, cum in my mouth and eveything, for the first time in years, and I gagged and spit (it was not a pretty picture), even though we laughed about it and it didn't kill the evening, I was still horrified. Hence, I ended up here looking for advice.

It's a self-confidence thing, and while it would nice if it began and ended in the bedroom, it doesn't. It begins way before we even get to the bedroom (or couch, or kitchen table, or backsteps ) So if you are wishing for the way things were years ago, well, my guess is that your wife, and probably you, are not the same as you were years ago. For us, discovering more about ourself and each other, who were are *now*, has had immensly satisfying results.

In any event, good luck to you two and now I will go kick my soap box back into the closet.

 

[whatzinaname]

I really like mgirls suggestion. it's totallly sexy and makes the cumming seem to last longer. My wife does that too. it's messy but usually sex is. keep a towel or lots of kleenex handy.

Thanks for your opinion. Because messy isn't exactly *my* thing, I always wondered if it really was something men found sexy, or more an okay byproduct of something better. And I don't know why, but the box of tissues in the bedroom never seems to last as long as any of the other boxes in our house. *wicked grin*

but then go back down on him or continue to gently work his cock.

I thought this was a pretty sexy idea, but he didn't seem so into it. But then, last night I think he was still trying to figure out what happened and who was in his bed.

 

[M's girl]

I don't drink wine, but my favorite sparkling cider would be nice. I"ll have to suggest that to him. Course, then when he brings home a bottle, I'll know what is on his mind.

Exactly, and if not in the mood you can just say you're not thirsty. Sounds better than "Not now honey, I have a headache"

Read your earlier post, about him waking you up and all. That is awsome. I bet you (literally) blew him away. You go girl!

 

[whatzinaname]

I make sure to angle my head so it hits the ROOF of my mouth when I'm in the mood (Hubby doesn't care either way), so that might help you too.

I did that. Made a *huge* difference.

 

[whatzinaname]

M loves that. It's not meant to be demeaning on his part at all, he just thinks it's hot and I don't mind it at all. Although I must say that if he would do/want it as an act of humiliation of some sort, then I would object!

Oh... eh.... make sure to close your eyes if and when he gives you a facial. I forgot at one time. It stings..

I just don't see that happening here...not that adventurous yet!

 

[whatzinaname]

Exactly, and if not in the mood you can just say you're not thirsty. Sounds better than "Not now honey, I have a headache"

Read your earlier post, about him waking you up and all. That is awsome. I bet you (literally) blew him away. You go girl!

I think so too. He called to tell me he bought me an IPod. *giggle* Maybe it's coincidence, but I *thought* he was getting me one for my birthday, which is several months away. I certainly wasn't expecting it now.

 

[SouthShoreMatt]

Thanks for your opinion. Because messy isn't exactly *my* thing, I always wondered if it really was something men found sexy, or more an okay byproduct of something better. And I don't know why, but the box of tissues in the bedroom never seems to last as long as any of the other boxes in our house. *wicked grin*


I thought this was a pretty sexy idea, but he didn't seem so into it. But then, last night I think he was still trying to figure out what happened and who was in his bed.

It sounds like you blew his socks off. Lucky man. Lucky not just because you gave him an awesome experience, but lucky because you're caring enough to work on it. Was it more than tolorable for you? Did you enjoy it?

 

[whatzinaname]

It sounds like you blew his socks off. Lucky man. Lucky not just because you gave him an awesome experience, but lucky because you're caring enough to work on it. Was it more than tolorable for you? Did you enjoy it?

Totally more than tolerable. Whatever the reason, it was totally thrilling to me to hear those sharp intakes of breath, to feel his legs quivering, and know *I* did that, that he was completely into me (hmmm, literally and figuratively??) and what I was giving him.

The advice/suggestions I got here, talking it out, etc made a difference. Seriously, it eased my "issues" so I could relax and enjoy myself, feeling more confident in what I was doing. We didn't do anything else after that, just cuddled up and went to sleep. At first he was concerned that I "got nothing out of this", but I fell asleep with a satisfied smile on my face. Of course, that concern of his likely means *I'll* be having a fun night tonight. (but then, so will he because I have another surprise for him)

 

[glynndah]

I don't know your wife, but that totally describes me until a couple months ago. I don't know if you read my original post, but seriously, he was lucky to get it on his birthday. But our best friends divorced last year and that really made me look differently at my marriage. For me, this is a lifetime commitment and how good it is is up to us to determine. Its been this whole culmination of things that has spilled over to the bedroom. I'm a stay at home mom, so at first I was making extra effort with things around the house - dinner, getting the kids toy disasters picked up before he gets home at night, that kind of stuff. But I am totally blessed with a man who notices and lets me know he notices and apprectiates. And a natural progression of that growing appreciation I had for myself and what I bring to our marriage, has been to the bedroom.

This also describes what was going on in our marriage to a certain extent. Not that I was adventurous, just that the "adventures" had slowly dwindled down to practically none. After a long talk, we realized that things had to change or we would soon be in real trouble. It's not that we went still in love, but the excitement was slowly fading away and we were almost "roommates". With a bit of effort of both our parts, more open communication about what we each wanted, and, I must confess, several late night sessions with Lit stories for inspiration and incentive, things in the bedroom began to get back to where we both wanted them to be.
So, I'm so glad you both saw this situation, too, before it became a big problem.

One slight suggestion: There was a thread posted here a little bit ago about "Champagne Blow Jobs." I suggest you read that thread and try it with your man with your sparkling cider. Open that bottle early and enjoy it with him. One word of advice. Take tiny little sips because the bubbles do seem to take over with the extra bit of motion. He'll be buying stock in that cider company.

 

[southernsky]

I just wanted to say YAY!!!!!!!!!! it's so fun to figure something out like that! Another way to do it is to put some cooking oil that is pretty much taste-less on your hand and give him a lubed up handjob while you use your mouth on the tip. You won't taste the lube, he won't know what hit him

 

[whatzinaname]

One slight suggestion: There was a thread posted here a little bit ago about "Champagne Blow Jobs." I suggest you read that thread and try it with your man with your sparkling cider. Open that bottle early and enjoy it with him. One word of advice. Take tiny little sips because the bubbles do seem to take over with the extra bit of motion. He'll be buying stock in that cider company.

Sounds interesting. Really interesting. I tried searching fo the thread with no luck, so if anyone knows where it is, I'd love the chance to check it out.

 

[Quoll]

Sounds interesting. Really interesting. I tried searching fo the thread with no luck, so if anyone knows where it is, I'd love the chance to check it out.

Hi whatzinaname,
I think this is the one you are looking for. Champagne blow job
I've been reading this thread with interest, but felt no need to offer advice as you are in great hands already. However, I will add one comment, the best blow job you can give is the one that you enjoy giving and he knows you're into it.
Congrats on your success and enjoyment, you are almost the exception to the rule here, you see there are threads started here weekly on "How to get my partner to open up, try new things, etc etc"
Reading your reasons on why you changed your mind/attitude to your relationship is worth a thread in itself in my opinion.
Oh yeah, welcome to lit, I think you will be a wonderful addition to the already great minds here.


Here's another thread you might be interested in How should I finish a blowjob.

 

[whatzinaname]

Hi whatzinaname,
I think this is the one you are looking for. Champagne blow job
I've been reading this thread with interest, but felt no need to offer advice as you are in great hands already. However, I will add one comment, the best blow job you can give is the one that you enjoy giving and he knows you're into it.
Congrats on your success and enjoyment, you are almost the exception to the rule here, you see there are threads started here weekly on "How to get my partner to open up, try new things, etc etc"
Reading your reasons on why you changed your mind/attitude to your relationship is worth a thread in itself in my opinion.
Oh yeah, welcome to lit, I think you will be a wonderful addition to the already great minds here.


Here's another thread you might be interested in How should I finish a blowjob.

Thanks for the link. I eventually found the champagne one. You would think that putting Champagne blow job in the search box *would* find the thread with the exact same name, but apparently I was mistaken.

And thank you for your kind words. Start the thread and I'll be there.

 

[chris9]

Totally more than tolerable. Whatever the reason, it was totally thrilling to me to hear those sharp intakes of breath, to feel his legs quivering, and know *I* did that, that he was completely into me (hmmm, literally and figuratively??) and what I was giving him.

The advice/suggestions I got here, talking it out, etc made a difference. Seriously, it eased my "issues" so I could relax and enjoy myself, feeling more confident in what I was doing. We didn't do anything else after that, just cuddled up and went to sleep. At first he was concerned that I "got nothing out of this", but I fell asleep with a satisfied smile on my face. Of course, that concern of his likely means *I'll* be having a fun night tonight. (but then, so will he because I have another surprise for him)

And that's probably the whole reason why it was so successful all round.

 

[sandiego1]

the facial thing is super hot! also if the oppurtunity cums up, on your knees in front of him is hot too. after the facial, you have to tell us how it went.

lots of spit=dirty girl=happy guy!

 

[beachgirl4206]

don't try too hard

the thing about blow jobs is,,, just enjoy him enjoying what you are doing,,, i just use my tongue only and listen to his responses and focus on the spots that he seems to be enjoying most,,, no lips, no hands,,, ALL TONGUE on the underside,,, siwlring around and then focus on that spot he likes most,, you just have to learn to be really in tune with your man,,,it is really fun to just see his response and go from there,, you might have hurt your lip if you had your lips over your teeth,, if you just use your tongue, you cant hurt your lips,,, just laugh inside, thinking,,"look ma, no hands!" i promise you won't need to use your lips or hands,,,,try it but mostly enjoy him enjoying what you are doing!!!

 

[sandiego1]

ever get him to shoot a facial on you?