overthebow
Laugh-a while-a you can-a
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2004
- Posts
- 11,166
I have been scanning the boards here and I see something that resonates with my life. It is the rate of acceptance of male to male sex.
When I was younger, I learned to jerk off and ran through images that I knew. When I was really little, I remember seeing the lingerie section in the Sears catalog and getting excited, but I didn't know what was going on. After I jerked off by accident the first time, I ran through all of the images of women that I had accumulated over the years. All of the seduction situations, etc.
After I had used them up, I started expirementing with putting things in my anus. I liked the feeling. I started to incorporate those images into my jerking off sessions. I often found that I started with a female image and then went to a male image to finish off the orgasm. The male images always got me off.
Initially, all of the images of male sex that I used had no responsibility on my part for the sexual contact. It was a girl at a party and her boyfriend joined in and sucked me or I was at an orgy and a hand was playing with me and I came and realized that it was a man, etc. Then I went to images where I was having sex with the woman and she held me down long enough for the man to get on top of me and then penetrate me.
But I never seemed to want to take responsibility or acknowledge that it was something I wanted. I remember switching to the nasty images to get off and then being ashamed of it and not jerking off for a week, because I was afraid that I was going to be gay if I continued. The images were always penetrative sex, and I was unwilling or not culpable. There was never any oral sex on my part or kissing.
At some point, I started to masturbate to images of complete acceptance and desire. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn't gay. I really like women. I was out with a woman last night for a first date and I wanted to open her blouse and suck on her nipples. She is 5'8" and about 8 in shorter than me, and I saw that smooth skin on her upper chest and I wanted to liberate it. I wanted to play with her never endings.
The thing that strikes me about the bi-curious men on this board is that most of them want to bottom. I don't see that many men saying that they really want to fuck other men. It is mostly getting a personal experience that so far has been, with women, a vicarious one: the being desired, not responsible or in control, the pure ecstatic pleasure of letting someone else please them. There is also the rapturous thrill of the unknown.
At this point, I can acknowledge that I would like to let my nerve endings get exercised, where ever they are, without any hangups about roles.
When I was younger, I learned to jerk off and ran through images that I knew. When I was really little, I remember seeing the lingerie section in the Sears catalog and getting excited, but I didn't know what was going on. After I jerked off by accident the first time, I ran through all of the images of women that I had accumulated over the years. All of the seduction situations, etc.
After I had used them up, I started expirementing with putting things in my anus. I liked the feeling. I started to incorporate those images into my jerking off sessions. I often found that I started with a female image and then went to a male image to finish off the orgasm. The male images always got me off.
Initially, all of the images of male sex that I used had no responsibility on my part for the sexual contact. It was a girl at a party and her boyfriend joined in and sucked me or I was at an orgy and a hand was playing with me and I came and realized that it was a man, etc. Then I went to images where I was having sex with the woman and she held me down long enough for the man to get on top of me and then penetrate me.
But I never seemed to want to take responsibility or acknowledge that it was something I wanted. I remember switching to the nasty images to get off and then being ashamed of it and not jerking off for a week, because I was afraid that I was going to be gay if I continued. The images were always penetrative sex, and I was unwilling or not culpable. There was never any oral sex on my part or kissing.
At some point, I started to masturbate to images of complete acceptance and desire. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn't gay. I really like women. I was out with a woman last night for a first date and I wanted to open her blouse and suck on her nipples. She is 5'8" and about 8 in shorter than me, and I saw that smooth skin on her upper chest and I wanted to liberate it. I wanted to play with her never endings.
The thing that strikes me about the bi-curious men on this board is that most of them want to bottom. I don't see that many men saying that they really want to fuck other men. It is mostly getting a personal experience that so far has been, with women, a vicarious one: the being desired, not responsible or in control, the pure ecstatic pleasure of letting someone else please them. There is also the rapturous thrill of the unknown.
At this point, I can acknowledge that I would like to let my nerve endings get exercised, where ever they are, without any hangups about roles.
