Birth Control?

[aikenseeker]

Question about Birth Control

I've recently started having sex with my boyfriend. I'm 33 years old and this is the first sexual relationship I've ever had. I thoroughly enjoy sex but my main concern is the risk of getting pregnant. Even at 33 I'm not ready for that yet. I had a scare last weekend when I was 6 days late even though we used a condom.

I've been reading all of the posts about methods of birth control and was wondering if combining condoms with spermicides is really effective.

The scare really made me nervous about sex and though I don't want to stop that side of our relationship I don't want to be nervous every month when it comes time for my period.

Also, there's been a lot of mention about fertility and what not. How can you tell at what time a month you're going to be fertile?

Thanks!

 

[dollface007]

I've recently started having sex with my boyfriend. I'm 33 years old and this is the first sexual relationship I've ever had. I thoroughly enjoy sex but my main concern is the risk of getting pregnant. Even at 33 I'm not ready for that yet. I had a scare last weekend when I was 6 days late even though we used a condom.

I've been reading all of the posts about methods of birth control and was wondering if combining condoms with spermicides is really effective.

The scare really made me nervous about sex and though I don't want to stop that side of our relationship I don't want to be nervous every month when it comes time for my period.

Also, there's been a lot of mention about fertility and what not. How can you tell at what time a month you're going to be fertile?

Thanks!

Have you ever been to your doctor or Planned Parenthood to learn about your menstrual cycles and different birth control options? It might be a good thing for you and your boyfriend to do together. The first time I started the BC pill, I got it from my university health clinic. They made us go through a mandatory workshop on mentrual cycles, pregnancy, STDs and birth control. I was nervous going to it but it was actually pretty fun and informative.

You can tell whether you are fertile by a few different things like the texture of your cervical mucous and your body temperature. The catch is that sperm can live inside your body for up to five days, and very few women have naturally regular cycles, in other words, fertile on the same days every month. The result is that you could get pregnant no matter what time of the month you have sex.

While it's better than no protection, or just condoms, I personally don't like to use spermicide. It screws with my body chemistry and makes me more susceptible to yeast infections. In fact, recent research has come out suggesting that nonoxol-9 (the active ingredient in spermicide) can be detrimental to your health. I take birth control pills and use condoms as a backup method and to protect from STDs. Of course, you should be looking into what's the best method for you, and that might mean trying several different methods.

 

[h_i_s]

I didn't say that I wasn't informed of the risks. I said that if I had read the real life experiences of what happens when an IUD fails, we probably wouldn't have chosen it.

For the record, our ultrasound showed that we were not ectopic. My wife carried the baby for a while and then miscarried. When the IUD was removed we were told that it was still correctly in place. We do not know if our decision to remove the IUD killed our 3rd child, if leaving it in would have killed our 3rd child, or if our 3rd child would have died as an embreyo anyway. When you are ready to carry that kind of responsibility and memory around, then you're ready for an IUD. That's not preaching, it's just a hard lesson that we learned. We were unprepared for what we went through because we never talked about 'what will we do if/when it happens to us'.

My point is simply that knowing the risks and knowing what it's like to be the one in however many percent who gets to deal with it are completely different, and I'll stand by that no matter how many times people quote the failure rate. You can learn from our experience or not as you choose.

i see.

i know that one of the first things i did once i decided that the IUD could be a good choice for me was to get online and research the risks further. i read many examples of the personal accounts of others' experiences, both good and bad. So, i suppose the difference is that i made myself fully aware, prior to receiving the IUD and am therefore capable of dealing with any possible outcome regarding risks.

i am that way with most choices that i make though.

i have no regrets and am fully informed. Respectfully, therefore, nothing for me to learn based on any comparisons in regard to your experience.

 

[lizaveta]

Also, there's been a lot of mention about fertility and what not. How can you tell at what time a month you're going to be fertile?

Thanks!

Hey! I'm going to post this again now that I'm over most of my nicotine withdrawal and can take the heat. LOL

"Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. Best book ever. Teaches you to track your cycles through waking temperatures, cervical fluid and cervical position. Nice thing is, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE REGULAR to use FAM (Fertility Awareness Method). Whenever you're going to ovulate, the signs are pretty darn clear (and the more water you drink, the clearer they are - seriously).

I've relied on FAM solely without a pregnancy for over ten years (I am allergic to most spermicides and had blood clots from taking oral contraceptives in college, so those were out for me). Nice thing is, though, FAM teaches you how to watch your body so you'll know when to abstain AND/OR use additional contraception to avoid pregnancy.

Even if you never, ever have intercourse without a condom, a diaphragm AND the USS Comfort, it's still a good idea to be familiar with your cycle. Knowing what's happening in your body is never a bad thing.

As always, feel free to PM with questions.
L

 

[fille]

Pill is like 95% effective, the condom is only 86% effective (http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/1997/conceptbl.html). So combined, they have a 99.3% effective rate. Still have a 7/10ths chance of getting pregnant.

And the tiny failure rate of the pill is probably due to people not using it properly (skipping doses).

I highly, highly recommend a year long prescription. The low dose pills they have now are quite safe, if you don't smoke.