Big Australian Snakes

[ElectricBlue]

Whoa! This one's a big bastard:

Eastern Brown Snake

 

[AwkwardlySet]

That was... very subtle.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Pretty hard to tell how big it really is, though. He's holding the snake on a jigger (long metal stick with a bar at the end for catching the snake) and the snake is much, much closer to the camera. That's an old trick for making things in photos look bigger than they are: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/44-cottonmouth-alabama-photo/

 

[SimonDoom]

My favorite passage from Bill Bryson's great (and comically neurotic) Australia travelogue, In A Sunburned Country:

"The taipan is the one to watch out for. It is the most poisonous snake on Earth, with a lunge so swift and a venom so potent that your last mortal utterance is likely to be: "I say, is that a sn—"

 

[SimonDoom]

I've dodged or jumped over some pretty big rattlesnakes while running along trails in the summer here in the US, but I've never seen anything like that.

 

[Bamagan]

Pretty hard to tell how big it really is, though. He's holding the snake on a jigger (long metal stick with a bar at the end for catching the snake) and the snake is much, much closer to the camera. That's an old trick for making things in photos look bigger than they are: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/44-cottonmouth-alabama-photo/

The article described it as being about 2m, which seems plausible even accounting for the picture quality.

 

[Bamagan]

I've dodged or jumped over some pretty big rattlesnakes while running along trails in the summer here in the US, but I've never seen anything like that.

I think the biggest rattler I've personally seen was close to the size of the one in that article, i.e., it was about 5 feet to maybe five and a half feet long. I found a coachwhip snake that was close to eight feet one time, but those aren't venomous nor particularly aggressive, so it wasn't very concerning.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Pretty hard to tell how big it really is, though. He's holding the snake on a jigger (long metal stick with a bar at the end for catching the snake) and the snake is much, much closer to the camera. That's an old trick for making things in photos look bigger than they are: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/44-cottonmouth-alabama-photo/

Two metres though, that's pretty big.

That's where I grew up - I can remember kookaburras hanging snakes up on the power lines along the lane, but never anything that big. I don't think I ever saw snakes in the bush up that way, other than road kill.

 

[RetroFan]

In one of my Loving Wives stories the cheating wife's asshole much younger boyfriend is bitten on the penis and scrotum by a deadly Australian Eastern Brown Snake after accidentally peeing on it, the furious snake striking at the source of this irritating yellow liquid. The LW readers have a long list of things that they don't like in stories, and the reaction to this adds one more obscure one to the list - men getting bitten in their genitals by venomous snakes.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Two metres though, that's pretty big.

Two metres estimated though. As reported by the guy who supplied the forced-perspective photos.

(It does look like a big snake! I just think it's wise to be a little skeptical when it comes to guys estimating the lengths of fish, crocs, and snakes. As it were.)

In one of my Loving Wives stories the cheating wife's asshole much younger boyfriend is bitten on the penis and scrotum by a deadly Australian Eastern Brown Snake after accidentally peeing on it, the furious snake striking at the source of this irritating yellow liquid. The LW readers have a long list of things that they don't like in stories, and the reaction to this adds one more obscure one to the list - men getting bitten in their genitals by venomous snakes.

*makes notes*

snakebite to genitals: bad
irukandji sting to genitals: insufficient data
gympie-gympie used as toilet paper: insufficient data

 

[Handley_Page]

There are times when I'm REALLY pleased that I'm in England.
Gazing at venomous things like that makes it 'confirmed'.

Any chance of some coffee please ?

 

[stickygirl]

There are times when I'm REALLY pleased that I'm in England.
Gazing at venomous things like that makes it 'confirmed'.

Any chance of some coffee please ?

Our biggest snakes are voted into power but our present Kaa is less than 5ft no matter how close he stands to the camera

Here he is, representing our GNP as a human bar graph ( the twat holding a teeny A4 attache case )

 

[BusDee276]

This thread isn't what I was hoping for!!!!

 

[MajorRewrite]

Florida Man speaking in a terrible imitation of an Australian accent: “That’s not a snake. This is a snake!”

https://www.fieldandstream.com/conservation/biggest-florida-pythons-caught/

(Florida has a bit of a problem with pythons overrunning the place)

 

[ishtat]

In one of my Loving Wives stories the cheating wife's asshole much younger boyfriend is bitten on the penis and scrotum by a deadly Australian Eastern Brown Snake after accidentally peeing on it, the furious snake striking at the source of this irritating yellow liquid. The LW readers have a long list of things that they don't like in stories, and the reaction to this adds one more obscure one to the list - men getting bitten in their genitals by venomous snakes.

This story has some grounding in reality because while most snakes strike a few inches to a foot from the ground, an Eastern Brown or its even nastier cousin the Taipan tend to rear up and strike between waist and knee height.

 

[gordo12]

In one of my Loving Wives stories the cheating wife's asshole much younger boyfriend is bitten on the penis and scrotum by a deadly Australian Eastern Brown Snake after accidentally peeing on it, the furious snake striking at the source of this irritating yellow liquid. The LW readers have a long list of things that they don't like in stories, and the reaction to this adds one more obscure one to the list - men getting bitten in their genitals by venomous snakes.

I wrote something similar back in 2018 for the Sunburned Country Event here. I must say the punters didn't much care for the idea. Can't imagine why? But it turned out to be Murder Most Foul (spoiler alert)(old story needs editing)

I also introduced the Ravenous Drop Bear cousin to the cuddly Koala.

Crash

 

[stickygirl]

A friend cycling in Kenya reported a cobra up on its back legs saying 'Come on then, fucker!' He braked hard and avoided.

 

[Handley_Page]

Our biggest snakes are voted into power but our present Kaa is less than 5ft no matter how close he stands to the camera

Here he is, representing our GNP as a human bar graph ( the twat holding a teeny A4 attache case )
View attachment 2265145

Good one !

 

[Thefireflies]

Is not the size of the snake that counts, it's how venomous it is. I mean, have you seen a cute little death adder?
But we do have some big ones like the scrub python, which apparently is the 7th largest snake in the world.

 

[Thefireflies]

...men getting bitten in their genitals by venomous snakes.

Back in the day when outdoor dunnies were common, red back spiders would live under the toilet seat, and there's (anecdotal) reports of red back bites to the penis.

 

[Rustyoznail]

Back in the day when outdoor dunnies were common, red back spiders would live under the toilet seat, and there's (anecdotal) reports of red back bites to the penis.

There's truth in the song...

 

[Thefireflies]

There's truth in the song...

Maybe that's where the anecdotes come from!
Funny the wife goes straight for the razor blade option rather than sucking the venom out

 

[RetroFan]

There's truth in the song...

I actually used this in another Australian story. In the story a sister and her much older half-brother go urban exploring at an abandoned theme park and the sister (the narrator of the story) needs to go to the toilet. They amazingly find that the ladies toilet is open, the water is working and there is even toilet paper, but as she goes in there to use the loo by dim torchlight her brother teases her about spiders, calling her 'Little Miss Muffet' and humming the 'Redback on the Toilet Seat' song to her.

Also in this story the girl has a narrow escape from an Eastern Brown Snake, nearly standing on one before her older brother grabs her by the waist and pulls her away and out of danger.