Bi Curious

[naughtyblonde02]

Hello I am new here I am trying to seek advice on this situation, it seems I am bi-curious and I have never tried it, but the only way that i can seem to get off if I visualise being with a woman, and not a guy. What does this mean?? Am i a lesbian? Even when I am with a man its hard, i have to "pretend". its very embarressing.

I don't know what to do. Its very hard to meet Bi people where i am at. Where have you experimented?? have you met people publicly or in a chat room??? curious here :0
I would really like to meet people in the same boat, even just to talk.

 

[pennynam]

Hi naughtyblonde02!

Let me tell you that I thought about nothing but girls when I came for a good long while, that didn't mean I was a lesbian though. I like guys alright but, girls aren't so bad either. Give it a try sometime. Are you afraid of being thought of as a lesbian?

 

[naughtyblonde02]

No pennynam im not afraid of being a lesbian, i am just trying to figure out my feelings, since men are not turning me on as much at all.

 

[MintSoda]

I did most of my experimenting in college, which is pretty cliche I suppose. A friend asked me recently something very similar to what you just asked and I told her:

"You're not bi if you're having trouble getting off with men, that simply means you're sleeping with the wrong men. You're bi or gay if you see a girl and you don't want to kiss her, but you NEED to kiss her; kissing her is essential to survival and not doing it would feel like slow drowning."

I really don't think sexual fantasies are as telling as people suspect, especially in women. The real test isn't whether lesbianism excites you sexually, that could just be the taboo of it. Have you ever had a crush on a girl? Have you ever wanted slow dance, have dinner, wake up next to, read the sunday paper with, or in anyway have a normal monogamous relationship with a girl? Bi curious in women is seldom satiated with simple sexual encounters.

My advice to anyone who is bi curious is to immediately abandon the plan to seek out random sexual encounters with nameless strangers to satisfy your curiosity. It is true, there is little chance your social circle will hear of your curiosity if you do it discretely with a stranger, but it's unlikely you'll learn anything from it and there is a very good chance you'll hurt yourself or them in the process.

I would simply recommend going on a date with a girl. The first step there is obviously to meet someone you think is attractive and interesting. I'd avoid parties and bars for this though. The usual places you meet people you actually feel like talking about, college, the super market, laundromat, the gym, mutual friends, etc.

If you notice that real life women with their clothes on don't do anything for you...I'm sorry to say but you're probably not bi and it's most likely a boredom with your current love life.

 

[naughtyblonde02]

Oh my post came off stupid, sorry. yes i am attracted to women and had made out with my best friend at one time and it was wild . But its not so much the attraction i really have to click with the person, I could never just seek a woman out and just sleep with her, I would have to get to know her . Like I would do in any other realationship.

I have had guys in the past want to fix me up with a woman so we could have a threesome, but thats not my thing. I like the one on one thing.