Best Lines Ever

[TimberRattler]

I use this quote a lot!
This movie was crrrrraaaazzzy.

*side note - Has the bat phone been keeping you busy or what?!

A winner's work is never done. Don't worry we'll have that conversation about the social mores of the French people during the Hundred Years War eventually.

 

[Lord_Michael]

John Bernard Books (John Wayne)

"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them."

The Shootist

 

[TimberRattler]

Curses, you beat me to it. Well played sir.

 

[TimberRattler]

Cop: Sir, have you had anything to drink today?

Archie: [drunk] I had about a half a beer, the dog had a lot.




Archie: See that, your head hurts 'cus you feel guilty.

Keats: My head hurts 'cus you shot me in it!




from Bulletproof

 

[Sir_Winston54]

It's not from a movie, but I don't remember Keroin requiring that they be movie quotes.

"You do not mess with the special investigators."

Jack Reacher, Frances Neagley, et al - Bad Luck and Trouble, Lee Child, 2007

 

[Lord_Michael]

Lili von Schtup (Madeline Kahn)

"Hello handsome. Is that a ten-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?"

Blazing Saddles

 

[Lord_Michael]

Curses, you beat me to it. Well played sir.

Thanks, TimberRattler. This is so much fun, but there are some quotes I'm hesitant to post because I'm afraid there aren't many who'd recognize the movies. Mel Brooks movies are full of 'em!

 

[TimberRattler]

I say post them regardless. Even if they aren't recognized, maybe they'll encourage someone to see a great movie. Mel Brooks has alot of those

 

[DVS]

I say post them regardless. Even if they aren't recognized, maybe they'll encourage someone to see a great movie. Mel Brooks has alot of those

Who is this Mel Brooks?

 

[rekane]

Young Frankenstein


DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME! DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME!

~~~~~​

Elizabeth: Taffeta, darling.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Taffeta, sweetheart.

~~~~~​

No tongues.

~~~~~​

Put... ze candle... *back*!

~~~~~​

SEDA-GIVE?

~~~~~​

Roll, roll, roll in ze hay.

~~~~~​

Oh. Where you going?... Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag. YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Oh... I think I love him.

 

[Lord_Michael]

Gene Wilder and Teri Garr

Dr. Frankenstein: "Elevate me."
Inga: "Right here, doctor?!"

Young Frankenstein

 

[rekane]

Young Frankenstein

Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, help me with the bags.
Igor: Soitenly, you take the blonde, I'll take the one in the turban.

 

[Lord_Michael]

Young Frankenstein

Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, help me with the bags.
Igor: Soitenly, you take the blonde, I'll take the one in the turban.

Good job, rekane!

 

[h_i_s]

"Always choose sweet words. You may have to eat them one day.".

 

[LifelongCyn]

Laugh while you can, monkey boy!


BigbooTAY!

 

[Lord_Michael]

Hedley Lamarr (Harvey Korman) and Taggart (Slim Pickens)

Heldley Lamarr: "Take this down: I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers - and merciless!"

Taggart: "Could you repeat that, Sir?"


Blazing Saddles

 

[rekane]

I am apparently in an Albert Brooks mood.

Lost in America

I'm insane and responsible. This is a potent combination.

Mother

We're not intimate dear. We just have sex occasionally.

~~~~~​

Beatrice Henderson: I love you.
John Henderson: I know you think you do, Mother.

~~~~~​

Lawyer: Now this being your second divorce, Mr. Henderson, I'm sure you're familiar with the procedure, but your wife, uh... ex-wife, should know it would be wise not to leave the state for a few weeks until it's finalized.
Karen Henderson: I'm not planning to leave the state.
John Henderson: No. She just left me. She had nothing against the land.

Broadcast News

Paul Moore: It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you're the smartest person in the room.
Jane Craig: No. It's awful.

~~~~~​

Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If "needy" were a turn-on?

Good job, rekane!

*curtsy*

Thank you!

 

[TimberRattler]

Howard Beale: I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone.' Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad. You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, God damn it! My life has VALUE!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!' I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!... You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"


from Network

 

[DehviantGirl]

Pulp Fiction

Marsellus: "Nah, man. I'm pretty fucking far from okay."

 

[Lord_Michael]

Howard Beale: I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone.' Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad. You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, God damn it! My life has VALUE!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!' I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!... You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"


from Network

Whew! Good going, TR!

 

[Lord_Michael]

Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart)

"I stick my neck out for nobody."

Casablanca

 

[RNJAG]

From Hill Street Blues an old NYC cop show. Belker is a crusty rough around the edges detective working under cover in a butcher shop. Heavy old polish lady looking for fresh chicken picks up 3-4 whole chickens and pulls drumsticks apart smells and say this chicken not fresh WANT FRESH CHICKEN! In heavy polish accent. Belker gives his trademark under his breath growl and asks "lady, do you think you could pass that same test?" gawd I howled when I heard that.

 

[Lord_Michael]

Col. Jessup (Jack Nicholson) and Lt. Kaffee (Tom Cruise)

Col. Jessup: You want answers?
Lt. Kaffee: I think I'm entitled...
Col. Jessup: You want answers?
Lt. Kaffee: I want the truth!
Col. Jessup: You can't handle the truth!
Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives.
And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.
We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it!
I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!
Lt. Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessup: I did the job...
Lt. Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?!
Col. Jessup: You're goddamn right I did!

A Few Good Men

 

[TimberRattler]

Joe: With the exception of Eddie and myself, whom you already know, we're going to be using aliases on this job. Under no circumstances do I want any one of you to relate to each other by your Christian names, and I don't want any talk about yourself personally. That includes where you been, your wife's name, where you might've done time, or maybe a bank you robbed in St. Petersburg. All I want you guys to talk about, if you have to, is what you're going to do. That should do it. Here are your names...

[pointing to each respective member]

Joe: Mr. Brown, Mr. White, Mr. Blonde, Mr. Blue, Mr. Orange, and Mr. Pink.

Mr. Pink: Hey, why am I Mr. Pink?

Joe: Because you're a faggot.

Mr. Pink: Why can't we pick our own colors?

Joe: No way, no way. Tried it once, doesn't work. You got four guys all fighting over who's gonna be Mr. Black, but they don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down. No way. I pick. You're Mr. Pink. Be thankful you're not Mr. Yellow.

Mr. Brown: Yeah, but Mr. Brown is a little too close to Mr. Shit.

Mr. Pink: Mr. Pink sounds like Mr. Pussy. How 'bout if I'm Mr. Purple? That sounds good to me. I'll be Mr. Purple.

Joe: You're not Mr. Purple. Some guy on some other job is Mr. Purple. Your Mr. PINK.

Mr. White: Who cares what your name is?

Mr. Pink: Yeah, that's easy for your to say, you're Mr. White. You have a cool-sounding name. Alright look, if it's no big deal to be Mr. Pink, you wanna trade?

Joe: Hey! NOBODY'S trading with ANYBODY. This ain't a goddamn, fucking city council meeting, you know. Now listen up, Mr. Pink. There's two ways you can go on this job: my way or the highway. Now what's it gonna be, Mr. Pink?

Mr. Pink: Jesus Christ, Joe, fucking forget about it. It's beneath me. I'm Mr. Pink. Let's move on.

Joe: I'll move on when I feel like it... All you guys got the goddamn message?... I'm so goddamn mad, hollering at you guys I can hardly talk. Pssh. Let's go to work.



from Resevoir Dogs

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

[in the washroom stall, looking at hieroglyphics on the wall]

JFK: Now this top line translates into, "Pharoah gobbles donkey goobers," and the bottom line, "Cleopatra does the nasty."
Elvis: Say what?
JFK: Well pretty much, that's the best I can translate it.

~ BubbaHo-Tep