Being autistic, adhd and random stuff

[stickygirl]

once I have made the notes I don't need them again as the act of writing it down fixes it in my memory.

same...
but I suspect that's a widely used method for 'fixing' information. The significant point is being thrown by the social turmoil in the first place

 

[PMarky2]

I've been much more aware of my quirks since my previous primary care physician gave me the verdict of 'I'd be surprised if you are not' when my wife raised the issue of Asperger's Syndrome as a possible 'cause' for some of my 'unusual' behaviours. Of course, I was blissfully unaware of many of my quirks because I think one of my dad may have been Autie too.

 

[Strixaluco]

I've been much more aware of my quirks since my previous primary care physician gave me the verdict of 'I'd be surprised if you are not' when my wife raised the issue of Asperger's Syndrome as a possible 'cause' for some of my 'unusual' behaviours. Of course, I was blissfully unaware of many of my quirks because I think one of my dad may have been Autie too.

Yeah, similarly in my family many autism traits are just being similar to my dad...

 

[stickygirl]

Yet families are often the first to doubt a diagnosis...

I never knew my Dad because he died when I was a tot. All I have are second-hand accounts; my mother finds it hard to be objective about him, but her brother in law is, instead, objectionable... sorry, I was about to rant!! I'd better not.

 

[Strixaluco]

Well, undiagnosed and unaware people will think the traits are normal Because to them it is!

And how many "so this isn't normal or something that everybody does?" moments are there before and after diagnosis?

 

[PMarky2]

I've been tiptoeing around the edge of an Autie Shutdown this week - too many wankers, too much stress, too much stuff that needs organizing.

 

[stickygirl]

I've been tiptoeing around the edge of an Autie Shutdown this week - too many wankers, too much stress, too much stuff that needs organizing.

I hope you have a fix and have time to use it x

 

[PMarky2]

I hope you have a fix and have time to use it x

Ultimately, I had to acknowledge the fact I cannot do everything, and round up some folks I can trust to work without detailed instructions to take jobs over and give me a breathing space. Thus, I was up at 4am writing emails and delegating jobs the other morning, which has averted the immediate crisis. Now if one person will leave me along for a few days until I get the bids back from a couple of contractors, I'll be fine. Not seeing much of my 'special friend' this weekend did not help. She's on the spectrum too, and it helps to talk to her.

 

[stickygirl]

Ultimately, I had to acknowledge the fact I cannot do everything, and round up some folks I can trust to work without detailed instructions to take jobs over and give me a breathing space. Thus, I was up at 4am writing emails and delegating jobs the other morning, which has averted the immediate crisis. Now if one person will leave me along for a few days until I get the bids back from a couple of contractors, I'll be fine. Not seeing much of my 'special friend' this weekend did not help. She's on the spectrum too, and it helps to talk to her.

We're a close second to your bff but sound off here if it helps.

I love delegating, although I never point and say "Do that". Somehow I make it feel a team effort which makes it more rewarding for everyone. People like to be given clearly defined roles, just like we do I suppose!

 

[PMarky2]

We're a close second to your bff but sound off here if it helps.

I love delegating, although I never point and say "Do that". Somehow I make it feel a team effort which makes it more rewarding for everyone. People like to be given clearly defined roles, just like we do I suppose!

I love delegating if I know it will get done! If I suspect nothing is going to happen then it becomes another source of anxiety, and I am already rolling in that stuff anyway.

The good side at the moment is that there is a distance between me and the edge of the burnout hole. Admittedly not a large one, but a space nonetheless. I may get through this without a shutdown.

 

[PMarky2]

Still maintaining a margin between me and the burnout hole, so all is good, and I am beginning to think I will not shut down this time. My Autie buddy was away at the weekend, so I did not see her, which left me feeling short-changed. My normie better half is off my case at the moment, which is good.

 

[Strixaluco]

I'm struggling with not having energy to do stuff. Sometimes being too much on overdrive and that consuming my every, sometimes not even starting up.

And having hypermobility syndrome on top of autism does not help it at all.

 

[Maturelickr]

Sounds like you may also have POTS

 

[Strixaluco]

I might have POTS symptoms occasionally, but mostly nothing specific to that. They don't really even consider POTS when it's not for common for me to e.g. get dizzy when standing.

AuDHD can be enough to mess up with energy levels. Then add muscles working extra with HSD. And asthma.

 

[stickygirl]

I'm just going to drop this thought in here before I forget it.
Anyone else feel awkward introducing themselves then forget to mention ones own name? I chose my name so it's not the name itself but an odd sense on ... I dunno maybe feeling unimportant? irrelevant? apologetic? "Just ignore me but I know have to do this introduction thing, so..."

I did it this morning but later had a chance to speak to them again, apologise and say my name out loud.
Crash n burn

 

[PMarky2]

I'm just going to drop this thought in here before I forget it.
Anyone else feel awkward introducing themselves then forget to mention ones own name? I chose my name so it's not the name itself but an odd sense on ... I dunno maybe feeling unimportant? irrelevant? apologetic? "Just ignore me but I know have to do this introduction thing, so..."

I did it this morning but later had a chance to speak to them again, apologise and say my name out loud.
Crash n burn

That is something that I have trouble with. I have to give myself a bit of a flow chart on this one, and remember to give them my name early on in the conversation because (a) the likelihood is it will be a short conversation anyway, and (b) if it does turn interesting, I probably will forget all about the social niceties.

I have been way too busy and stressed this week, and was rewarded with a bad migraine today which it during a meeting a was chairing. It is quite strange looking at the words in front of you understanding them, and not being able to make your mouth work to read them aloud.

 

[Melody_Lightdraft2]

Nothing wrong with lists but the next step along is to describe how one of those traits has affected a relationship or lack of one. Maybe how you felt if you made an idiot of yourself on a thread and why ( I've faceplanted many times here ).

The common perception is that we're unfeeling, geeky people who are happy on our own. Some are, but then that's true of allistic people too. Some autistic people are great at math but then people assumed we're all like that.

To kill off one myth is that 'it's a super power'! I wish it fucking was - most of the time it feels like I put my shoes on the wrong feet again today.

There is a saying, "If you want to understand me, walk a mile in my shoes."
Without dialogue there is no progress, it's a common courtesy to listen.

 

[Melody_Lightdraft2]

Also stimming because of clothes, materials, and temperature.
Subjectives thinking people on the spectrum are not allowed relationships, or can't do them or want.
We just want love and to be loved.
Relationship wit the body is often destroyed thrugh shamming a bullying; am I ugly, is is/are they too small.

Sorry about the bullet point styleof reply but I just wanted to ge ideas out.
thanks for posting.

Everyone deserves to be loved, and involved in discussions that affect them. Why shouldn't you have a relationship?
As for breast size, one of my characters, Olivia has a saying, "Bigger gets you noticed." She knows certain men stare at her chest rather than her face. Carrying DD's apparently gives you backache when you're older, at least that's what my wife tells me.

 

[Strixaluco]

Carrying DD's apparently gives you backache when you're older, at least that's what my wife tells me.

Even before getting old, it's not an age question. A middle-aged colleague had hers reduced.

 

[Smal3hard5cfnm]

Everyone deserves to be loved, and involved in discussions that affect them. Why shouldn't you have a relationship?
As for breast size, one of my characters, Olivia has a saying, "Bigger gets you noticed." She knows certain men stare at her chest rather than her face. Carrying DD's apparently gives you backache when you're older, at least that's what my wife tells me.

Interestingly little boobs get my attention.

 

[Melody_Lightdraft2]

Interestingly little boobs get my attention.

Never attracted me, growing up with two younger siblings.

 

[PMarky2]

Interestingly little boobs get my attention.

The girl who makes me crazy (in a good way) is flat chested and Autie.

 

[Smal3hard5cfnm]

Everyone deserves to be loved, and involved in discussions that affect them. Why shouldn't you have a relationship?
As for breast size, one of my characters, Olivia has a saying, "Bigger gets you noticed." She knows certain men stare at her chest rather than her face. Carrying DD's apparently gives you backache when you're older, at least that's what my wife tells me.

A support worker actively sabotaged mine.

 

[stickygirl]

Gender Non Conformity
Autism from the Inside is a useful YT site that I follow and in this video is titled Gender Non-Conformity is Cisgender Autistic People so that was a red rag to me and I had to watch.

He talks a lot of sense, though from my POV I can see how he too is constrained by his cisgender outlook. He acknowledges this is passing 'I have no idea how other people might feel...'
The key point was his last one, so watch it right through - 10mins - to being Authentic to yourself. That was a massive kurching for me even if I didn't necessarily agree with everything else, but he's talking about people's pov so that's okay.

As a child I scrutinised other boys to figure how to get through a day at school without being teased or embarrassed. It made me a clever actor and mimic but all those layers of masking took some time to untangle. Underneath I knew I was a girl but htf was I going to tell the world when I had a weaner and did a believable impression of being a boy. Self-harming was the route that worked for me, but thankfully now, kids have better access to the language of being transgender.

 

[stickygirl]

If Gender isn't a hot topic for you, then "How Are You?"

How are we supposed to answer that everyday question?! The same Autism from the Inside vlogger tackles that stupid question - How Are You? and why we can find it so difficult to answer