Beginner tips

[kandah]

It is so that my current girlfriend is much into light bdsm, and I would like to suprise her with something *new*. Im open to much anything except the really hardcore stuff.

 

[Salendire]

Define really hardcore stuff.

 

[High-Tied]

Define really hardcore stuff.

Beat me to the punch!

No, I am NOT referring to the hardcore stuff, either.

 

[Salendire]

Beat me to the punch!

No, I am NOT referring to the hardcore stuff, either.

Hahaha, well someone had to say it. I think sometimes depending on your level of involvement in BDSM "hardcore" stuff can sometimes become a little blurred. I remember being 13 and thinking fisting was hardcore lol. So i supose it deends too much on your perspective of it and experience.

 

[kandah]

Well, anything that involves blood, cock and ball torture or any other kind of torture is not really my level right now.

 

[High-Tied]

Hahaha, well someone had to say it. I think sometimes depending on your level of involvement in BDSM "hardcore" stuff can sometimes become a little blurred. I remember being 13 and thinking fisting was hardcore lol. So i supose it deends too much on your perspective of it and experience.

Much like first steps of a relationship where both step lightly around some subjects trying to get a feel of the other before a more bolder approach is proclaimed.

 

[Salendire]

Well, anything that involves blood, cock and ball torture or any other kind of torture is not really my level right now.

So your not a big fan of pain? What about rope? U like ropes? Maybe a collar and leash. Shackling her to the bed, light spanking? Tickling? The list is fairly endless, try and be more specific in the things u and her enjoy, and some of the things u have already done.

 

[Salendire]

Much like first steps of a relationship where both step lightly around some subjects trying to get a feel of the other before a more bolder approach is proclaimed.

I have always tried to make sure early in relationships my partner knows what they are getting themselves into, i dont like vanilla sex plain and simple so i tend to mention my *Ahem* "interests" very very early as to not get into a difficult situation later.

 

[High-Tied]

I have always tried to make sure early in relationships my partner knows what they are getting themselves into, i dont like vanilla sex plain and simple so i tend to mention my *Ahem* "interests" very very early as to not get into a difficult situation later.

Now that takes a good dose of self-confidence. Pardon my curiosity, but do you lay it on the line in a particular date, or just drop subtle hints along the way so the picture becomes more clear before more precious time is tendered?

 

[Salendire]

Now that takes a good dose of self-confidence. Pardon my curiosity, but do you lay it on the line in a particular date, or just drop subtle hints?

Luckily because of my apperence it is generally considered that i am "weird", usually first date i will drop subtle hints then if we have had sex a few dates later i just am fairly open with it, tell them what i need and want and what i would expect of them.

I dont have much of a problem with this because i am a very straight forward person, and when people consider my lifestyle it never usually comes as a shock.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Polite suggestion to encourage that imagination of yours partnered with things you may already know about your girlfriend is a quick look ( or not so quick....smiles) at a BDSM Checklist

Check List Example from the FIE

There are so many variations this is just one. I am not advocating its better or worse than others, it really comes down to personal preference. Perhaps you might consider printing ( if you like the idea ) one out for her to peruse . May give her the opportunity to feel more comfortable in some situations expressing her desires. Hard to know as I know neither of you. Also addresses 'safewords' if you continue to travel into areas more challenging than already first hand experienced as a couple.

Best of Luck

@}-}rebecca----

 

[High-Tied]

Luckily because of my apperence it is generally considered that i am "weird", usually first date i will drop subtle hints then if we have had sex a few dates later i just am fairly open with it, tell them what i need and want and what i would expect of them.

I dont have much of a problem with this because i am a very straight forward person, and when people consider my lifestyle it never usually comes as a shock.

I'm jealous! My experience has been more towards the opposite spectrum, as my appearance is more associated with apple pie and sunshine than leather and darkness.

 

[Salendire]

I'm jealous! My experience has been more towards the opposite spectrum, as my appearance is more associated with applie pie and sunshine than leather and darkness.

HAhaha, u can always change that, plus, leather and darkness is soooo much more interesting, it also stops stupid people from approaching u in the street with stupid questions. I supose it is only suited to some people though, most people i know would feel embarrased and exposed wearing a corset or something else "goth"/"dark" in public, I quite like it though.

 

[High-Tied]

HAhaha, u can always change that, plus, leather and darkness is soooo much more interesting, it also stops stupid people from approaching u in the street with stupid questions. I supose it is only suited to some people though, most people i know would feel embarrased and exposed wearing a corset or something else "goth"/"dark" in public, I quite like it though.

I enjoy standing out in a goth club, a freak among freaks if you will.

 

[rthnck]

Little baby steps

As with any exploration, it is important to take it slow to find out what works for both of you. You're on the right track by posting here, reading stories in the BDSM section. Here's one of mine to start you off:

http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=239674

and at the top of the list is "communication" Sometimes we know what we want and what we like and sometimes we need step outside of what we know and try something new.

There's a whole wide world of BDSM to explore. Come on it, the water is fine...

 

[chelseachained]

Sooo agrees

As with any exploration, it is important to take it slow to find out what works for both of you. You're on the right track by posting here, reading stories in the BDSM section. Here's one of mine to start you off:

http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=239674

and at the top of the list is "communication" Sometimes we know what we want and what we like and sometimes we need step outside of what we know and try something new.

There's a whole wide world of BDSM to explore. Come on it, the water is fine...

And the exploration, the discoveries can be so exquisite