Begging

[il mio angelo]

I know that it is a pretty common and basic practice for a Dom/me to have their sub/slave beg for various things, including permission to orgasm. I have very little to no experience with begging, and every time that I have tried, it sounds forced or really fake. With the exception of begging permission to orgasm, where the need and desire is enough to propel a sub/slave to beg out of sheer ache, how does one beg without it sounding phony or like acting? What more can one say other than a long series of 'please, please, pleeeeeeeeassssseee!!!'?

 

[bunny bondage]

well here's one i enjoy: begging him to stop spanking me. i promise to be a good girl and cry "please!". while i don't know how it sounds, it sure is fun!

 

[lilredwolph]

i also need to know this, begging is a stumbling block for me. usually i end up laughing more than begging

 

[Ebonyfire]

I know that it is a pretty common and basic practice for a Dom/me to have their sub/slave beg for various things, including permission to orgasm. I have very little to no experience with begging, and every time that I have tried, it sounds forced or really fake. With the exception of begging permission to orgasm, where the need and desire is enough to propel a sub/slave to beg out of sheer ache, how does one beg without it sounding phony or like acting? What more can one say other than a long series of 'please, please, pleeeeeeeeassssseee!!!'?

Perhaps you have not been properly motivated?

My subs have to convince Me they are sincere, and even then I just may not grant their fervent wish.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I have trouble begging, too... I mean, I can beg to orgasm, or beg to play (Sir is very good at inspiring me to beg to play), but begging for other things just.. for example.. if someone were to say "if you beg, you can eat dessert"... I'd rather skip dessert.

 

[Ebonyfire]

i also need to know this, begging is a stumbling block for me. usually i end up laughing more than begging

Maybe it is not in you to beg.

 

[lilredwolph]

Maybe it is not in you to beg.

i don't beleive it is and i am not sure if that is a good thing or not. i am not even good at asking for things, and He says until i learn to ask i don't get

 

[naughtieprincess]

maybe its what your begging for...

i dont have a problem begging Daddy for anything - but he only makes me beg when he knows i really want something - thats the key for me, i can't seriously beg for something if i dont want it - just like begging to orgasm, you really want to have one - so there is no problem begging for it.

Daddy wouldnt want me to pretend to beg for something i didnt want anyway. (=

 

[Quint]

Wow, I really hope that this isn't going to be an entire thread of "yeah, I can't do it either!" because I was hoping for some advice myself!

My personal stumbling block is telling him how much I want it. I'm like, "Ummm, I really want it?" How much? "A lot?" I just don't know what to say!

However, T admitted to me that it's really the desperation in my voice that he's listening for, not just the words that come out. When I really want it, I start to babble hysterically. Until then, he'd rather I be honest and not pretend to want it more than I do. Big relief when he told me that.

 

[Ms_Black]

Has your Dom(me) offered suggestions on "how" (s)he wants you to beg? Just as a model?

My Dom encouraged me to beg, but we had different ideas of what that meant. I thought he was just doing it as a form of humiliation, which was fine by me, but because I didn't understand what he wanted, I didn't do it the way he liked.

So he sat me down and explained that he wanted me to beg in a way that would make me think about what I wanted and admit that I wanted it.

Did I want him to kiss me? Yes. Why did I want him to kiss me..because I like the taste of him, I liked the way his shirt abraded my nipples, because I wanted him to touch me softly with his lips and tongue while he pulled my hair and scratched my back, I wanted to strain against his pants and feel myself get wet for him....and on and on until he was convinced I KNEW why I wanted him or it, or whatever I was begging for.

In my case it was a teaching tool - I was learning what I wanted and how to express it.

I'm not saying that's what all begging is about...hell no. I am saying that maybe you should, during a talk-through, not during the heat of the moment, ask what your dom wants in terms of begging. This might not always work (some Doms like to keep you guessing) but I can personally testify that sometimes it works great.

Ms. B

 

[Ms_Black]

P.S. I am one of those people who enjoy beggin and groveling and do it frequently, so do take that into consideration with what I said

Ms. B

 

[lilredwolph]

Did I want him to kiss me? Yes. Why did I want him to kiss me..because I like the taste of him, I liked the way his shirt abraded my nipples, because I wanted him to touch me softly with his lips and tongue while he pulled my hair and scratched my back, I wanted to strain against his pants and feel myself get wet for him....and on and on until he was convinced I KNEW why I wanted him or it, or whatever I was begging for.

if i can do exactly what you have discribed i will be a very happy girl, i have yet to kiss Him because i have been unable to ask

 

[ownedsubgal]

this is just my personal opinion, but i don't think one should beg unless it is sincere (unless of course one is into roleplay, and if that's the case well beg beg away). but if the words sound fake to your ears when you utter them, then that indicates to me that you're not in a mindset where you feel begging is really necessary to begin with, or either begging period is just unnatural for you. i think if either is the case, one shouldn't be begging.

i beg many things of my Master. i have never begged to orgasm, as i never have a desire to orgasm (it's such a selfish act in my mind and i have no desire to experience anything that's 100 percent self serving), but i beg things like standing, walking, using the restroom, when the need arises for such things. i also occasionally may beg sexual or physical things, like begging to suck his cock. the latter kind of begging is very very difficult for me, as it's not in my nature to ask for things i want. that whole selfish thing again. but my Master has explained to me time and time again that with my nature, it's impossible for me to have a truly selfish desire in the first place...and also he has made clear that if i am ever not deserving of something, he will refuse me, period.

 

[Ebonyfire]

i don't beleive it is and i am not sure if that is a good thing or not. i am not even good at asking for things, and Daddy says until i learn to ask i don't get

I bet that is something you will be working on.

 

[Desdemona]

I have had a tough time with begging also. I truly understand what some of you are saying. In my family, I was taught not to ask for anything. I have had to overcome years of conditioning in order to even ask Him for what I want, much less learn to beg. It seemed selfish to me at first until I learned that hearing me beg, hearing the desperation in my voice, pleased Him.

I only really beg well when I want something badly. I've found that I get better with practice and am much less likely to giggle inappropriately now. Of course, Snooze finds a way to make me beg on almost a daily basis. After months of this, its getting easier.

Start out with something that you really want, perhaps something that is being denied to you. I find that denial and desire intensifies my ability to beg.

I like Ms Black's suggestions about telling him why you want it. I will have to keep that in mind for the next time.

 

[Ms_Black]

if i can do exactly what you have discribed i will be a very happy girl, i have yet to kiss Daddy because i have been unable to ask

Well, you mentioned earlier that it might not be in you to beg. If that's the case you might never feel comfortable with it. However, if you think it might just be a matter of practice, I would make a few suggestions.

First of all, take your time - yes, you're excited, eager, and ready to go...but we don't think well when our bodies are turned on and we tend to babble. That's natural and in the heat of the moment all begging sounds like speaking in tongues. But think of begging as its own kind of sex.

Start purposefully. Speak slowly and clearly. I want you to kiss me (for this example). Your Dom may respond with something like Why, or Oh really, or may simple wait for you to continue.

If your Dominant allows it, make eye contact, that helps back up your sincerity as you go on. I've also found kissing feet or palms before begging helps drive home the fact that I'm taking myself seriously.

Think through what you are saying...its easy to get wrapped up in the begging and loose the emotion. It's very important to be honest. Why do you want him to kiss you? "Because I think about it all the time. I fantasize about how it will feel to have you that close...etc" I won't get terribly detailed because every begging is different, but honesty is the best inspiration.

If you hope everytime he gets near you that he'll do that thing that drives you crazy...tell him. It doesn't mean he'll do it, but it will show that you're being sincere.

Then as the excitement builds, yes, you can fall back to the pllllllleeeeeassse, yes...situation. Just don't forget to respond truefully when asked a question like "what do you want now" or "how do you like that"

*sigh* i'm all excited just thinking about it....i am a sick puppy

Ms. Black the happy sick puppy

 

[Desdemona]

*sigh* i'm all excited just thinking about it....i am a sick puppy

Ms. Black the happy sick puppy

Woof woof. I'm a sick puppy too. Your post was inspirational.http://www.sis-pro.com/puppy3mosit_3.jpg

 

[Ms_Black]

Woof woof. I'm a sick puppy too.

lmao. *wipes tear away* holy crap...lol

 

[lilredwolph]

thank you Ms_B i will be working on it i'm sure

 

[il mio angelo]

OMG, I can not believe how many of us have this problem. Thank you everyone for responding.

i also need to know this, begging is a stumbling block for me. usually i end up laughing more than begging

Same thing here lilredwolph, I usually giggle the whole time, nervous and searching for the right words to say.

Perhaps you have not been properly motivated?

You could be right Eb, I think it may at times be my own fear of sounding foolish that deters me.

if someone were to say "if you beg, you can eat dessert"... I'd rather skip dessert.

Me too vixenshe, I have been called stubborn more than once.

My personal stumbling block is telling him how much I want it. I'm like, "Ummm, I really want it?" How much? "A lot?" I just don't know what to say!

Exactly Quint!! I just end up saying the same words over and over... with a lot of 'pleases.'


Wow, I have got to respond in a couple posts I see. I think someone needs to create a motivational begging class for subs.

Thank you everyone for your posts.

 

[il mio angelo]

Has your Dom(me) offered suggestions on "how" (s)he wants you to beg? Just as a model?

I was told that I have to find my own words, and that if I wanted it bad enough, I would.

My Dom encouraged me to beg, but we had different ideas of what that meant. I thought he was just doing it as a form of humiliation, which was fine by me, but because I didn't understand what he wanted, I didn't do it the way he liked.

So he sat me down and explained that he wanted me to beg in a way that would make me think about what I wanted and admit that I wanted it.

Did I want him to kiss me? Yes. Why did I want him to kiss me..because I like the taste of him, I liked the way his shirt abraded my nipples, because I wanted him to touch me softly with his lips and tongue while he pulled my hair and scratched my back, I wanted to strain against his pants and feel myself get wet for him....and on and on until he was convinced I KNEW why I wanted him or it, or whatever I was begging for.

In my case it was a teaching tool - I was learning what I wanted and how to express it.

I'm not saying that's what all begging is about...hell no. I am saying that maybe you should, during a talk-through, not during the heat of the moment, ask what your dom wants in terms of begging. This might not always work (some Doms like to keep you guessing) but I can personally testify that sometimes it works great.

Ms. B

Thank you Ms. B, your post has realy made me think, and you are 100% right. I know if I can focus on exactly what it is that I want, and picture it, the words should flow. I know that I personally tend to focus more on what I think he wants to hear. I will definitely try your suggestion, and again thank you so much.

 

[il mio angelo]

I have had a tough time with begging also. I truly understand what some of you are saying. In my family, I was taught not to ask for anything. I have had to overcome years of conditioning in order to even ask Him for what I want, much less learn to beg. It seemed selfish to me at first until I learned that hearing me beg, hearing the desperation in my voice, pleased Him.

My family was the same Des, it was a 'just take what you want or need' kind of situation, my dad thought he was making us strong, even trying to get us not to cry. In his mind crying, and pleading showed weakness.

Start out with something that you really want, perhaps something that is being denied to you. I find that denial and desire intensifies my ability to beg.

Good advice, and I agree completely about the denial... it can cause me to think of nothing else until I can not help but beg.. but this is usually the only time that begging comes natural.

I like Ms Black's suggestions about telling him why you want it. I will have to keep that in mind for the next time.

How are you Des, I have missed you. Hopefully we can catch up soon. By the way.. I LOVE your puppy!!!!!! sooo cute!

 

[Desdemona]

I'm good J. At least I'm good when I'm not being bad. yeah, we do need to catch up with each other. Its been a while.


BTW, its not my puppy. Just a cute pic I found. LOL.

 

[il mio angelo]

Well, you mentioned earlier that it might not be in you to beg. If that's the case you might never feel comfortable with it. However, if you think it might just be a matter of practice, I would make a few suggestions.

First of all, take your time - yes, you're excited, eager, and ready to go...but we don't think well when our bodies are turned on and we tend to babble. That's natural and in the heat of the moment all begging sounds like speaking in tongues. But think of begging as its own kind of sex.

Start purposefully. Speak slowly and clearly. I want you to kiss me (for this example). Your Dom may respond with something like Why, or Oh really, or may simple wait for you to continue.

If your Dominant allows it, make eye contact, that helps back up your sincerity as you go on. I've also found kissing feet or palms before begging helps drive home the fact that I'm taking myself seriously.

Think through what you are saying...its easy to get wrapped up in the begging and loose the emotion. It's very important to be honest. Why do you want him to kiss you? "Because I think about it all the time. I fantasize about how it will feel to have you that close...etc" I won't get terribly detailed because every begging is different, but honesty is the best inspiration.

If you hope everytime he gets near you that he'll do that thing that drives you crazy...tell him. It doesn't mean he'll do it, but it will show that you're being sincere.

Then as the excitement builds, yes, you can fall back to the pllllllleeeeeassse, yes...situation. Just don't forget to respond truefully when asked a question like "what do you want now" or "how do you like that"

*sigh* i'm all excited just thinking about it....i am a sick puppy

Ms. Black the happy sick puppy

You touched on so much here Ms. Black. I am highly excitable, and I tend to get really nervous, which doesn't help much for my concentration or speaking ability. I am not even talking about sex or desire, just in general. I tend to focus to much on the words I think or feel that he wants to hear, rather than the motivation and sincerity behind them at times.

Your suggestions are great, and I will definitely try this the next time that I am required to, or feel the need to beg.

ruff, ruff.... Thank you.

 

[s'lara]

i don't think begging is about being creative or flowery in the way you plead. Begging, iMHO, is about the intonation of your voice, the desperation that is reflected in your repeated requests for something you are not allowed to have.

More than likely, the fact that you (the sub/slave/bottom) are on the edge of doing anything ... i mean anything to get that orgasm, relief, smack, pain, etc. is what turns both parties on.

So saying please a lot doesn't hurt ... or repeating what the Dominant wants to hear. If there are some buzz words that your Dominant calls you during His/Her most excited moments (whore, bitch, etc.), try incorporating them into your begging - "Please let your whore cum" or "Your nasty bitch needs to be used." Stuff like that. Otherwise, forget about how silly it sounds and lose yourself in the fact that you need what is being withheld then let the words flow. Remember, you don't have an audience (or maybe you do ) watching, so don't be embarassed.

Have fun too!

lara