Because I can't be the only one . . .

[Feotakahari]

. . . who else here isn't into real-life sex, whether with men or women? I'm biromantic (hence why I write romances for this site), but sex is something I'd do if the person I was dating wanted to do it. I tend to think of it in the same terms as smoking.

 

[Jacqueline_]

Just curious - in what sense do you feel sex is like smoking?

 

[CJontherocks]

Because you're either sucking on it or blowing it in someone's face.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha! Okay, I couldn't resist that one. Sorry.

I'm guessing it's because when one is around people who smoke, they are more likely to smoke. And when one is around people who don't smoke, they can do without it. That, of course, is not a hard rule. But it's common in light smokers, those who smoke only occasionally. Kinda like casual or social drinkers.

The way I understand it, Feotakahari is ambivalent about sex, but more into the emotional connection between people. Sex is a social connection or commonality, but romance is the true prize.

 

[Feotakahari]

^ Pretty much. It's odd, because I do have some interest in pornography that isn't romantic--I just tend not to think in those terms in real life.

 

[Etoile]

Asexuality, gray-a, demisexuality, hyposexuality, semisexuality...all words that might apply to you.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You have a label!

You can call yourself an "Ace."

There are some very lively communities of aces here and there on the internet. Check out http://kink-bingo.dreamwidth.org/ which has had, this year, a lot of kinksters who don't do their kink with sex. Some of it is fabboo... and the really porny kink is damn good too.

 

[Etoile]

Ace being short for asexual which I referred to.

 

[sapphicus68]

. . . who else here isn't into real-life sex, whether with men or women? I'm biromantic (hence why I write romances for this site), but sex is something I'd do if the person I was dating wanted to do it. I tend to think of it in the same terms as smoking.

i am the yin to your yang (or vice versa). sex is a necessity for me several times per week and is on a spectrum of intimacy and emotional connection, but

no you are definitely not the only one

 

[Stella_Omega]

Ace being short for asexual which I referred to.

I wish all identities could develop such awesome nicknames

 

[OzoneRed]

. . . who else here isn't into real-life sex, whether with men or women? I'm biromantic (hence why I write romances for this site), but sex is something I'd do if the person I was dating wanted to do it. I tend to think of it in the same terms as smoking.

You might find this site interesting:

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

 

[Feotakahari]

^ That's . . . actually pretty enlightening. I had a pretty rigid definition of asexuality, so I didn't think of myself as fitting it, but I definitely think the same way as some of the people on that site.

 

[PricelessT]

I'm interested in knowing why you don't consider yourself asexual. Is it because you watch porn? Because from what I know of the term and what that asexuality.org (AVEN) site says, you fit the definition of asexuality. You aren't interested in sex, or rather lack interest in sex, and the only way you'd engage in it is if your sexual partner wanted to. Plenty of asexuals are like that.

 

[Feotakahari]

^ That's one reason. The second is that I have fetishes, which I didn't think an asexual could have. The third is that every time I try to claim minority membership, I feel out of place among members of the minority, and am regarded as a member by members of the majority, so I'd gotten used to being a White Male Straight Capitalist Oppressor Pig (despite not being white, not identifying as male, not being straight, not being a capitalist, and not thinking of myself as an oppressor.) I still feel awkward about trying to say that I'm not a White Male Straight Capitalist Oppressor Pig, but I've at least made an account on AVEN.

 

[PricelessT]

Oh, I see. Thanks for explaining. Asexuality means different things to different people. While some people (researches included) define it as "no sexual attraction," others (researchers included) define it as "little to no sexual attraction." Basically, it's generally defined as "the lack of sexual attraction" and/or "lack of interest in sex." Like I stated, you fit the definition...in my opinion. But only you can define you.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The second is that I have fetishes, which I didn't think an asexual could have

Are you in for a big surprise!