Bdsm

[BeBe81]

I think that the fact that you won't give up full power says you are stable.
And yes i have seen it work for others,but i like cooking my own steak every once in a whlie.

Thank you.

Yeah, I totally understand.

 

[Flyin_Free]

So what happened?

So what happened? Nothing happened. I never met the guy and never will, I guess all that really happened is that it opened my eyes up to way more stuff then I ever was open to before.

 

[Retrieval]

So what happened? Nothing happened. I never met the guy and never will, I guess all that really happened is that it opened my eyes up to way more stuff then I ever was open to before.

I’ve always been pretty conservative but I met somebody once who was very dominant.

?????

 

[sortacurious]

I prefer it to stay on a sexual level.

But, I always find it hard to keep in there when you are a relationship with a naturally Dom person. When you give control up in the bedroom... it sometimes leaks a bit into other aspects outside it. Which I am okay with to a degree. But, I am not into a full time full power exchange. That is something I refuse to explore.

I think in EVERY relationship. BDSM related or not there is a level of someone being more Dom over the other person. It is natural. To me it is natural to explore that element as well and I am submissive, but I agree that it could be very unhealthy mentally to live it 24/7. But, I know people that do and are completely happy. I suppose it depends on the people involved. I don't think I am stable enough to try it on that level.

I agree with pretty much everything you said. *nods*

One thing I discovered about myself in this little journey, and I'm not sure how it's connected exactly but here goes...I was always the primary income in my former household, I organized the bills, I also did all the menu planning, food shopping and cooking. I juggled a lot of the responsibilities while my SO made money here and there, helped alot around the house and ran the rest of the errands once I lined things up. I was not happy in that relationship.

I'm now in a much more old fashioned or traditional role with my husband in everyway and I know contentment like never before.

Giving up those previous roles felt like an act of submission of sorts at first. I struggled to feel my way through my comfortability about it. Again, somehow it's intermixed in the power exchange yet I feel completely equal in having a say in decisions about the household, relationship and businesses.

 

[Flyin_Free]

?????

met online...

 

[Nipples___Mcgee]

Thank you.

Yeah, I totally understand.

So when are we going to get it on?

 

[**Emmie**]

Do you think it's weird?
*Certainly not. I try not to discuss it online so I avoid the BDSM forum. Though I check in now and then. There seems to be plenty of misconceptions about the submissive role.

Are you curious to try certain aspects of BDSM but haven't for whatever reason?
*Nope, I've had my share of experimenting.

Have you tried it but found it too extreme?
*I would never allow myself to be humiliated or shared. While I believe taking the submissive role is a choice, I don't feel it involves being a doormat.

Had a bad experience that you never want to repeat?
*If I answered that I'd have to reveal too much in a public forum. Yeah, there were things I regret. Though I've lived and learned.

Fantasised about it but can't find an interested partner?
*I miss some of it. I'm a different person now though. I've developed my own opinions. Plenty of what I did in the past I won't repeat.

What are your views on it?
*I think we are fortunate to live in a world where we can get our kink on. I think it's great. I realize there are some involved in the lifestyle that, that some feel they have no business being there. Due to self esteem issues and messed priorities that's the view many have. I just don't like people making a general statement, particularly about something they don't know a thing about.

 

[Retrieval]

Do you think it's weird?
*Certainly not. I try not to discuss it online so I avoid the BDSM forum. Though I check in now and then. There seems to be plenty of misconceptions about the submissive role.

Are you curious to try certain aspects of BDSM but haven't for whatever reason?
*Nope, I've had my share of experimenting.

Have you tried it but found it too extreme?
*I would never allow myself to be humiliated or shared. While I believe taking the submissive role is a choice, I don't feel it involves being a doormat.

Had a bad experience that you never want to repeat?
*If I answered that I'd have to reveal too much in a public forum. Yeah, there were things I regret. Though I've lived and learned.

Fantasised about it but can't find an interested partner?
*I miss some of it. I'm a different person now though. I've developed my own opinions. Plenty of what I did in the past I won't repeat.

What are your views on it?
*I think we are fortunate to live in a world where we can get our kink on. I think it's great. I realize there are some involved in the lifestyle that, that some feel they have no business being there. Due to self esteem issues and messed priorities that's the view many have. I just don't like people making a general statement, particularly about something they don't know a thing about.

Are you saying that you once took part but don't any more, if so, why not?

 

[foxinsox]

It's not for me.

My preference is for an equal and balanced relationship which promotes individual self esteem, independence and mutual support without the elements of co-dependence, surrender and patriarchal/matriarchal roles which characterise BDSM relationships.

That said, to each his/her own, so long as it's consensual and does no harm.

 

[hogjack]

My preference is for an equal and balanced relationship which promotes individual self esteem, independence and mutual support

You are one twisted perv!

 

[GirlMidnite]

I like the playful aspects of mild bdsm, it entices my mischievous streak, and whilst my knots frankly, suck (I am as feeble as tying someone up as I am popping open a jam jar) , I don't mind being either the top or bottom, as long as it's hawt and involves a certain amount of unpredictability.

 

[LateralMovement]

My preference is for an equal and balanced relationship which promotes individual self esteem, independence and mutual support without the elements of co-dependence, surrender and patriarchal/matriarchal roles which characterise BDSM relationships.

That said, to each his/her own, so long as it's consensual and does no harm.

But your name is Odalisk (which I assume is a variation on "Odalisque")?

The definition for that word (according to dictionary.com) is: "a female slave or concubine in a harem, esp. in that of the sultan of Turkey."

So how did someone whose preference is for non-D/s relationships come to choose a name like Odalisk?

 

[Retrieval]

But your name is Odalisk (which I assume is a variation on "Odalisque")?

The definition for that word (according to dictionary.com) is: "a female slave or concubine in a harem, esp. in that of the sultan of Turkey."

So how did someone whose preference is for non-D/s relationships come to choose a name like Odalisk?

How did I choose a name like Retrieval?

It's just a name.

 

[LateralMovement]

How did I choose a name like Retrieval?

It's just a name.

Thanks.

Now if it's ok with you I wouldn't mind hearing Odalisk's thoughts on it.

 

[katiebarthedoor]

i dont think it's weird, just not my style.
admittedly, all i know is from movies or porn.

but it's hip, if youre into it.

 

[Retrieval]

Anybody else?

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

My preference is for an equal and balanced relationship which promotes individual self esteem, independence and mutual support without the elements of co-dependence, surrender and patriarchal/matriarchal roles which characterise BDSM relationships.

That said, to each his/her own, so long as it's consensual and does no harm.

Misinformation generally relegated to fiction and pornography.

 

[Hell Kat]

Before anybody says anything, no, this does not belong in the BDSM section. The people over there are obviously into it.

I want to know about the people that are not into it so much that they can be described as bondage, dominants or sadomasochists.


Do you think it's weird?

Are you curious to try certain aspects of BDSM but haven't for whatever reason?

Have you tried it but found it too extreme?

Had a bad experience that you never want to repeat?

Fantasised about it but can't find an interested partner?

What are your views on it?

you are so bloody transparent.

 

[MechaBlade]

I don’t think you always Know you’re interested in it until it’s presented to you. I’ve always been pretty conservative but I met somebody once who was very dominant. Actually when he first told me he was a Dom I was like “you’re a what?” I didn’t really even know what BDSM was. It certainly wasn’t something * I * was into.

Everyone's into BDSM whether they know it or not.

 

[MechaBlade]

My preference is for an equal and balanced relationship which promotes individual self esteem, independence and mutual support.

Sounds the same as my preference.

 

[foxinsox]

Now if it's ok with you I wouldn't mind hearing Odalisk's thoughts on it.

Hello there. I refer you in this instance to Picasso. A fine artist, and responsible for a collection of art I'd rather like to own one day. Heh.

http://www.meaus.com/97-picasso-or-breker.htm

That aside, firm_fleshy_bosoms_26 just didn't appeal.

And y'all can keep your feathers on. Just because a 24/7 TPE relationship (or even a partial exchange for that matter) is not for me, it does not mean I sit in judgement of others or condemn their choices.

Carry on.

 

[LateralMovement]

Hello there. I refer you in this instance to Picasso. A fine artist, and responsible for a collection of art I'd rather like to own one day. Heh.

http://www.meaus.com/97-picasso-or-breker.htm

That aside, firm_fleshy_bosoms_26 just didn't appeal.

Thanks for the explanation. I was curious.

 

[Ishmael]

I wouldn't call it a lifestyle for me- which is why I don't post in the BDSM section- but I've done my share of experimenting with certain aspects of BDSM and found it lots of fun. I haven't had any bad experiences yet.

I do find that many guy who don't view it as a lifestyle aren't into experimenting with it too much.

Bingo. *spit*

Sad. The 'lifestylers" bifurcate and polarize.

Ishmael

 

[~Avalon~]

And y'all can keep your feathers on. Just because a 24/7 TPE relationship (or even a partial exchange for that matter) is not for me, it does not mean I sit in judgement of others or condemn their choices.

Carry on.

I wouldn't condemn anyone for their choices either. However, I read an article by a woman "in the lifestyle." She talked about how in the morning, she has to get up get the kids ready and housework done, bathe and then present herself to her "Master". Wake him up while she's sitting on her knees, palms up, then wait for his "inspection". He would tell her if she needed to shave, cut her fingernails/toenails, change her nailpolish. He controlled every aspect of her life beyond the day to day stuff in which he wanted nothing to do with it. If she gained a few pounds he would with hold food from her. All of this was for her own good of course.

This doesn't sound like a lifestyle to me, but more like thinly veiled abuse.

 

[Olivianna]

i find the majority of men i have been with have enjoyed holding me down, pulling my hair, and dominating me in other ways--to the extent that i have to believe this is quite commonplace behavior in males.