Bdsm

Olivianna said:
fine, i'll elaborate--i don't think that the majority of men have a proclivity for wearing latex masks, sporting riding crops, or performing enemas on their sexual partners (i.e. bona fide 'BDSM', as you might say)--but, i do think that the majority of men do enjoy a bit or a lot of domination, enforcement of pain, and the such, when it comes to the roles they assume with their sexual partners. my point is that what you term 'BDSM'--a presumably members-only, marginal lifestyle choice--is in large part the crystallization (for lack of a better term) of an attitude towards sexuality that is shared/appreciated by the majority of men.
Far too many long words for him.
 
Olivianna said:
i think of so-called BDSM as indicative of a particular attitude. if you're going to say that 'BDSM' necessitates the use of aluminum handcuffs, feather teasers, and a certain type of nipple clamp, i'd have to argue that all that shite is bs.

BDSM can mean anything. If the people who use toys and nothing else wish to categorise themselves as being into BDSM why not? Technically they're right. Part of the acronym being "bondage and discipline" or "sadism and masochism".

For me it's different, and not enough, there are things which aren't covered by toys alone, specifically the general D/s (domination/submission) area which isn't always so physical and more often than not an emotional state rather than anything tangible.

Doesn't mean I'm right and they're wrong, it just means we have a different take on the thing.
 
Olivianna said:
i think of so-called BDSM as indicative of a particular attitude. if you're going to say that 'BDSM' necessitates the use of aluminum handcuffs, feather teasers, and a certain type of nipple clamp, i'd have to argue that all that shite is bs.
i'd agree with this. the "best" "doms" i've experienced would never classify themselves as such and haven't been into all the accoutrements of what is typically associated with bdsm. it's just part of who they are and they don't need accessories, terminology, planned "scenes," or checklists to express themselves.

one i'm thinking of in particular thinks he's very vanilla and refuses to use any bondage equipment, for example (he prefers to physically restrain). yet he's as natural a "dom" as there is and as comfortable in that role as in his own skin.
 
Retrieval said:
Shouldn't you be off downing half a bottle of Whiskey and reading more communist propaganda?
Later, I'm watching The Triumph of the Will atm.
 
Hester said:
i'd agree with this. the "best" "doms" i've experienced would never classify themselves as such and haven't been into all the accoutrements of what is typically associated with bdsm. it's just part of who they are and they don't need accessories, terminology, planned "scenes," or checklists to express themselves.

I find that much more attractive myself. Anyone who is so into the "lifestyle" I find off-putting.
 
Hester said:
i'd agree with this. the "best" "doms" i've experienced would never classify themselves as such and haven't been into all the accoutrements of what is typically associated with bdsm. it's just part of who they are and they don't need accessories, terminology, planned "scenes," or checklists to express themselves.

one i'm thinking of in particular thinks he's very vanilla and refuses to use any bondage equipment, for example (he prefers to physically restrain). yet he's as natural a "dom" as there is and as comfortable in that role as in his own skin.

Exactly the type I find myself allured by.

Natural Dom who doesn't require that label.
 
Hester said:
i'd agree with this. the "best" "doms" i've experienced would never classify themselves as such and haven't been into all the accoutrements of what is typically associated with bdsm. it's just part of who they are and they don't need accessories, terminology, planned "scenes," or checklists to express themselves....

I agree with this. All that nonsense isn't sex, it's theater. And really, really bad theater, at that.
 
Hamletmaschine said:
I agree with this. All that nonsense isn't sex, it's theater. And really, really bad theater, at that.
It's not right to laugh at something that's not meant for your eyes. What two people do in their bedroom together isn't public access TV; if you're not invited into the room then you aren't the intended audience.
 
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Hamletmaschine said:
I agree with this. All that nonsense isn't sex, it's theater. And really, really bad theater, at that.
Go and post that in the BDSM Forum, I dare ya! They take themselves so seriously in there it's hilarious.
 
SeanH said:
Go and post that in the BDSM Forum, I dare ya! They take themselves so seriously in there it's hilarious.
Yes. But not here. Nooooo never here. And certainly never you.
 
Avalon38 said:
It's definitely not a lifestyle thing for me. I like to make my own decisions out of the bedroom. But sexually I like a guy who knows what he wants and gets it.
Yes, I've experimented, but mostly just the tying up stuff which is a lot of fun. I'm not sure how into I'd be into tying a guy up, I've never tried. Overall I like it somewhat "rough" and I like being told what to do.


What she said. ;)
 
LateralMovement said:
Yes. But not here. Nooooo never here. And certainly never you.
LOL, you think I take anything on lit seriously? ROTFL.
 
SeanH said:
LOL, you think I take anything on lit seriously? ROTFL.
Uh, actually yes. This is your life.....

oh, and MWF, please bring SeanH back....
 
Hamletmaschine said:
I agree with this. All that nonsense isn't sex, it's theater. And really, really bad theater, at that.
It is all a matter of taste. I guess I prefer "bad theater" to mundane sex.

Accessories - are like lingerie - not required but make things feel sexier
Terminology - a common language to ask for what you want regardless of the partner. Universal communication is not bad.
Planned "scenes," - So someone setting up a romantic candle light setting for vanilla sex is bad or role-playing for spice is negative? Same concept.
Checklists to express themselves- There is so much to do that sometimes people new to the idea of BDSM are not even aware of the options available. It is the bases to start a better educated conversation. Again, communication and knowledge are not bad things.

Also, this thread concentrates on BDSM as a male desire. The street goes two ways.

I do agree that rough sex does not constitute BDSM no more then being a self entitled prick makes you a Dom or just being male for that matter. Plenty of men want to lay it all down to serve a woman.

Self entitlement does helps, but there is way more to it.

I love my lifestyle choice. It's okay if you don't. I'm not fucking you.
 
LadyAria said:
It is all a matter of taste. I guess I prefer "bad theater" to mundane sex.

Accessories - are like lingerie - not required but make things feel sexier
Terminology - a common language to ask for what you want regardless of the partner. Universal communication is not bad.
Planned "scenes," - So someone setting up a romantic candle light setting for vanilla sex is bad or role-playing for spice is negative? Same concept.
Checklists to express themselves- There is so much to do that sometimes people new to the idea of BDSM are not even aware of the options available. It is the bases to start a better educated conversation. Again, communication and knowledge are not bad things.

Also, this thread concentrates on BDSM as a male desire. The street goes two ways.

I do agree that rough sex does not constitute BDSM no more then being a self entitled prick makes you a Dom or just being male for that matter. Plenty of men want to lay it all down to serve a woman.

Self entitlement does helps, but there is way more to it.

I love my lifestyle choice. It's okay if you don't. I'm not fucking you.

Well said.
 
LadyAria said:
It is all a matter of taste. I guess I prefer "bad theater" to mundane sex.

Accessories - are like lingerie - not required but make things feel sexier
Terminology - a common language to ask for what you want regardless of the partner. Universal communication is not bad.
Planned "scenes," - So someone setting up a romantic candle light setting for vanilla sex is bad or role-playing for spice is negative? Same concept.
Checklists to express themselves- There is so much to do that sometimes people new to the idea of BDSM are not even aware of the options available. It is the bases to start a better educated conversation. Again, communication and knowledge are not bad things.

Also, this thread concentrates on BDSM as a male desire. The street goes two ways.

I do agree that rough sex does not constitute BDSM no more then being a self entitled prick makes you a Dom or just being male for that matter. Plenty of men want to lay it all down to serve a woman.

Self entitlement does helps, but there is way more to it.

I love my lifestyle choice. It's okay if you don't. I'm not fucking you.


Thank you!
 
SeanH said:
LOL, you think I take anything on lit seriously? ROTFL.
Yes. I do.

I realize you post a lot of "parody" threads and point-and-laugh at others as if you don't fall into the same traps that they do and as if you're basically better than others. I'm not misled by that.....but your posts here show a distinct lack of a sense of humor and a ravenous need to "expose" other Lit members for things which ultimately have little or no impact on your life *on* Lit...nevermind off. I don't think you're capable of walking away from the parts of Lit that most need walking away from.

I might be wrong about you. I apologize if I am because obviously I don't know you. I'm only going by what I see you do here. You don't seem to be the "let stuff roll off your back/laugh away your cares" kinda guy.
 
LateralMovement said:
Yes. I do.

I realize you post a lot of "parody" threads
I have made precisely ONE parody thread my whole time on lit.

LateralMovement said:
your posts here show a distinct lack of a sense of humor
There are many that would disagree, I think.
LateralMovement said:
and a ravenous need to "expose" other Lit members for things which ultimately have little or no impact on your life *on* Lit...nevermind off. I don't think you're capable of walking away from the parts of Lit that most need walking away from.
Lit is entertainment for me, you obviously don't get that.

LateralMovement said:
I might be wrong about you. I apologize if I am because obviously I don't know you. I'm only going by what I see you do here. You don't seem to be the "let stuff roll off your back/laugh away your cares" kinda guy.
LMAO, noobs :rolleyes:
 
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