BDSM specific forum

[Kim_Burly]

I am looking for a forum dedicated to BDSM. I have found a couple but one is too small and has now basically gone dormant. Others are far too large. I am at a point now where I am ready to be more than a lurker. Of course I have lots of questions, but I may be able to offer a few insights. Any recommendations?

Thanks, Kim

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

Um. Here?

 

[Stella_Omega]

What's wrong with the one you've just now posted in?

 

[Kim_Burly]

I guess I should have qualifiied my question better. This is a great site, but when BDSM is just one of many forums you have lots of people crossing over, just to check out the freaks. An example, I wanted to post a lot of things in the "fuck you like you hate me thread" but I'm a little insecure about posting nty things my Dom says to me when I think that people who to read whatever are just popping in while I'm spilling my guts. I would prefer an D/s, S&M specific site. Does that make sense?

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I guess I should have qualifiied my question better. This is a great site, but when BDSM is just one of many forums you have lots of people crossing over, just to check out the freaks. An example, I wanted to post a lot of things in the "fuck you like you hate me thread" but I'm a little insecure about posting nty things my Dom says to me when I think that people who to read whatever are just popping in while I'm spilling my guts. I would prefer an D/s, S&M specific site. Does that make sense?

It does make sense, although I would point out that it's highly unlikely anyone here actually knows you. That's the beautiful thing about anonymous posting on the internet!! People only know as much as you tell them!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I guess I should have qualifiied my question better. This is a great site, but when BDSM is just one of many forums you have lots of people crossing over, just to check out the freaks. An example, I wanted to post a lot of things in the "fuck you like you hate me thread" but I'm a little insecure about posting nty things my Dom says to me when I think that people who to read whatever are just popping in while I'm spilling my guts. I would prefer an D/s, S&M specific site. Does that make sense?

We do occasionally get people "crossing over" from other parts of Lit, but for the most part, they either have a legitimate BDSM-related question or are thinking that this culture just *might* have something to which they can relate, and they'd like to check it out.

So... you really need not feel insecure. The few trolls we *do* get aren't going to go after you, anyway - they're going to come after the *real* freaks, like me. (Incidentally, I'm a sadist. I like giving pain to women, sometimes with pleasure, sometimes pleasure afterward, and sometimes just pain. I'm an evil, evil person according to one of our trolls a few years ago. Women should be cherished and pampered and put upon pedestals where we can lick the bottoms of their toes {and I can peek up their skirts, cuz I have a healthy streak of voyeurism in me, too}.)

So... jump in a few conversations, start some of your own, and relax. Enjoy yourself. And if the trolls come calling, no worries... we'll just have Gracie take their cookies away!

 

[KoPilot]

It does make sense, although I would point out that it's highly unlikely anyone here actually knows you. That's the beautiful thing about anonymous posting on the internet!! People only know as much as you tell them!

I've got a funny story about that...

 

[wicked woman]

And some people have more interests than BDSM so post on other forums on Lit as well

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I've got a funny story about that...

I probably don't want to know it, as it will likely force me to take my blinders off as to the safety of my data. I can only worry about so many things in my life... Hear no evil, see no evil, eh?

 

[Stella_Omega]

I once mentioned a young adult that I know, and someone said; "I went to school with her!"

Kim, as long as your handle doesn't suggest your real name, you are protected by pseudonymity. You might be surprised to hear this, but my driver's license doesn't say "Stella Omega"...

This forum is about as D/s oriented as they get, some of us have to remind folks that there are other flavors of kink.

 

[CutieMouse]

I guess I should have qualifiied my question better. This is a great site, but when BDSM is just one of many forums you have lots of people crossing over, just to check out the freaks. An example, I wanted to post a lot of things in the "fuck you like you hate me thread" but I'm a little insecure about posting nty things my Dom says to me when I think that people who to read whatever are just popping in while I'm spilling my guts. I would prefer an D/s, S&M specific site. Does that make sense?

Also, no matter where you go online (BDSM specific, or not)... you can't control who does or doesn't read what you post. Even if an "outsider" doesn't respond, comment, or post in response to something you write, it doesn't mean the only people reading are BDSM friendly.

And even if you could somehow control who reads your internet posts, and restrict it to BDSM-friendly only types of people... that doesn't mean other kinky people will be 100% supportive of your style of BDSM.

So my advice would be to decide what you are and aren't comfortable discussing online. Like me, personally? I rarely (if ever) actually discuss details of my relationship on BDSM forums. I acknowledge The Men™ equally, and that our relationship contain degrees of power dynamics, but not a hell of a lot else. If I want to talk BDSM, I tend do so in a theoretical manner, instead of a personal one.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I would suggest you try not to concentrate on who might be reading your posts, and why, and more on whether you are going to get anything out of the experience yourself. Unless you join a closed forum (I am on one where they actually require you to have a phone call with them ...they call you...etc., to try and ensure you are not just joining to spy etc.), anything you post on the internet will be open to anyone who happens to see or look for it. Even using a username such as here does not mean you remain anonymous if say for example, the email account you use for here is one you have used as your real self elsewhere. People who have the knowledge and experience, and the desire, can trace others if they are not so aware of how to remain anonymous. There is a wealth of experience here to draw on, so not a bad place to come to share.

Catalina

 

[KoPilot]

Yeah I use a usename here that I don't really anywhere else (I did for another fetish forum, but I left that one), and I use an email address no one knows.

As for linking to my comic stuff, shrug. I didn't really care if people here "get out", I just don't necessarily want the outside leering in.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

Throw us some questions!

Yeah, hey,why not - throw some questions in here and see what the responses are like. I guess everyone seriously into this stuff would like to be 'completely' safely inside a non-judgmental group in order to disclose things adequately. There are enough 'real' people around here to make things pretty reasonable though, and cut through any potential annoying types. It would also be helpful if you said a bit more about what 'exact' type of BDSM things you are interested in and that way people might be able to suggest those more highly specific avenues of interaction.

 

[Kim_Burly]

Thanks for all of the replies, I'll start participating more. If I ever have a question I'll ask, but since I already know everything

 

[graceanne]

So... jump in a few conversations, start some of your own, and relax. Enjoy yourself. And if the trolls come calling, no worries... we'll just have Gracie take their cookies away!

Yummy - troll cookies.

 

[Primalex]

Kim, as long as your handle doesn't suggest your real name, you are protected by pseudonymity.

Not really, <first name of Stella_Omega removed by mod>.

It's fucking difficult to not leave traces these days.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Back when my children were young and I was worried about being demonised and losing them, you would not have found any link. They are adults, I am an out activist IRL, not so crucial to me any longer.

*shrug*

But Primalex is right. Do be cautious because any little asshole with a forum grudge could start poking around. Use a separate email account, don't friend yourself on facebook, stuff like that

 

[graceanne]

Back when my children were young and I was worried about being demonised and losing them, you would not have found any link. They are adults, I am an out activist IRL, not so crucial to me any longer.

*shrug*

But Primalex is right. Do be cautious because any little asshole with a forum grudge could start poking around. Use a separate email account, don't friend yourself on facebook, stuff like that

You're not supposed to friend yourself on facebook?



Seriously, though, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I use a different email address, I have a separate facebook account (and no, I didn't friend myself) and I try to be careful not to leave pictures of me up, or name my pictures [my name] when I post them. I also didn't put the city I actually live in, and I don't refer to anyone in my life by their first name, but by their first initial (like calling my husband K, or my sister O).

That said, enough people on this forum know who I am, that I'm not entirely sure how anonymous I am anymore. I'm still careful, though, because who knows who's lurking.

 

[xssve]

Fetlife or collarme, or both - there are others, but most of them seem a little more like meat markets to me.

Fet you might have to shop around a bit, but if there is a fetish that exists, or has existed, anywhere in the world, at any point in history, there is a forum devoted exclusively to it on fet.

 

[Noor]

Also don't post any photo or part of a photo you have used anywhere else on line on a porn forum, someone might recognize you or google image you. I wouldn't even post public images.

It's very disconcerting to discover an image of someone you are involved with or have been on a porn forum, esp when you discover it has now been spread to 35 sister sites across the world, just saying...

 

[Etoile]

Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't be more protective of myself online. But that's like closing the barn door after the horse has run away, so I don't worry about it much.

Also, there are rules here against posting personal information of yourself or anyone else.