BDSM & NONCONSENT: overlapping categories?

[KillerMuffin]

It's still making me mad here.

For clarification of why I got so pissed off. Grrrr, this makes me mad.

Originally posted by KillerMuffin
Anyway. EVERYTHING in BDSM is totally consentual. It may not seem like it, but it is. (edited)

(edited)

In non-consent the party of the first part is getting it from the party of the second part whether they want it or not, and it's usually not.

Often, within the borders of a good BDSM relationship, limits are pushed. That means lines of "what i can handle" are pushed or bent or crossed, sometimes delicately and sometimes in a bluntly major manner.

Is that non-consent? By your definition, it may well be.

To me, however, the division is clear. Within the bounds of a BDSM relationship, when limits have been discussed and are being pushed for the benefit of each partner, there cannot be a non-consensual situation.

(edited)
[/B]

Being told I'm wrong while agreeing with me in such a condescending holier than thou manner irks me. It's even worse when one goes on to lecture me about what I already know.

If she would not have directed this at me, I would not have gotten angry. And for everyone's information, she did direct this post at me. She started it off with quoting me, then ripped through my entire post ala Madam Pandora. If you are going to lecture me as a saint does a supplicant, than at least don't patronize me. I'll be pissed off anyway, but not nearly as pissed off. I'm not stupid, far from it. I can tell when my own words are being regurgitated with all the bells, whistles, and technical jargon.

 

[cymbidia]

I was *not* condescending, nor did i put myself forward as holier-than-anyone. I merely took some words on a topic that i feel very informed about and clarified and added to a few points. The words i played off happened to come from KillerMuffin but i *didn't* and *wouldn't* rip into ANYONE personally about any of this. Why? Who cares that much? Who has that much of a stake in a personal opinion on the Literotica BB on the topic of BDSM vs. non-consensual story lines?

I was ONLY trying to add info to the pot. I also did *not* simply and only regurgitate already-posted info but added new bits to it. Bells, whistles, and technical jargon? Like TPE, the acronym for Total Power Exchange? Oh come on! It's a common idea in the BDSM world!

I already apologized, KillerMuffin. Get past it.
cym

 

[cymbidia]

Re: Just Racing to keep up!

It looked to me as if Cymbidia has a degree in the lifestyle... was it the academic tone that grated?

~wearily~ I've spent my entire life in academia as a student or a teacher. I've published quite a few scholarly papers that relate to my field of science. I'll try for a less "academic tone" in my posts but i'm not at all sure i can loosen up enough to manage it. So sorry.

~muttering "i'm tired of this" and trudging off to bed~
cym

 

[KillerMuffin]

Last time I explain myself. Sheesh. I DID get over it. I was EXPLAINING myself and why I got so hacked off. Can't help it if I got all pissed off all over again. I really hate being wrong. I hate explaining myself almost as much. I hate it even worse when someone tells me I'm wrong then says the same thing I did. I'd rather you ran over me with a Chevy.

You're the academic type then be the academic type. No sweat off my nose. I'll just get really pissed off when you lecture me. I pointed out what cheesed me off and that's all that hacked me off.

But whatever. Your apology, which was actually unnecessary because I overreacted to what was a minor slight, was already accepted. Don't apologize again, I'm just explaining myself. I will find my rational mind again. Soon I hope.

I said it once before and I will reiterate. There was nothing for me to forgive.

[Edited by KillerMuffin on 03-14-2001 at 12:31 AM]

 

[cymbidia]

This is a very good all-purpose link for those who want to investigate further the macro- and micro-nuances of BDSM. It has info for lifestylers as well as the curious.

Out of the Shadows: About BDSM
BDSM.http://www.submission.net/powerexch.html


I applaud all who can write about what they haven't actually experienced by using only their imaginations and ability to tell a good story in a coherent fashion. I'm not a "real" writer in that way and probably never will be. I know enough, though, to feel certain that it's the small details of a story that can often trip someone up, or make the whole thing believable. Perhaps this link will provide one or two of those crucial details for your BDSM story, should it be a thing you don't have much experience with.

cym