BDSM-Lifestyle or Aspect?

[~Dream~]

The time has come to build a wall – a unified wall among those who claim the BDSM lifestyle. With so much of society still looking at Us as deviants deserving to be locked away because they fear that We will one day become Ted Bundys, We must become a united front for each other.

Now by unity I don’t mean that We become a cookie-cutter community, All fitting nicely into the same mold. Our community, Our lifestyle, thrives on diversity. We need Masters, Mistresses, straight, gay, bi, Top, bottom, and each with their views, opinions and kinks.

Yet, as a whole We should be able to come together, share ideas, learn, teach and grow. We should provide a wall, a united front to a misunderstanding world. We should be a welcoming force for those who desire to embrace a lifestyle each of Us have come to cherish. Let the misinformed come against Us and let them find a united wall of a community of all flavors.


**This was posted at a website I went to this morning called "The Scene News Issue 2 and I felt that it was worded close to the way I feel.
Another poster had recently said they dont think of BDSM as a "lifestyle 'at all but as only an 'aspect"of our lives and it made me curious as to how does the community in THIS forum feel about it?
Is it indeed a "lifestyle" for you or do you just see it as another "aspect" of your everyday life,or maybe both? there are no right or wrong answers,only questions from a person "New to the lifestyle that I like to call BDSM..

 

[perks]

For Me, It is part of me. However, it is only one facet in the whole gem.

For some, BDSM encompasses every part, and not just one facet.

I support the community, and the choice to live within it in any shape you see fit.

 

[Parklife]

The time has come to build a wall – a unified wall among those who claim the BDSM lifestyle. With so much of society still looking at Us as deviants deserving to be locked away because they fear that We will one day become Ted Bundys, We must become a united front for each other.

Anytime walls are spoken off I can't help but think that despite their best intentions walls necessitate someone being inside of them and someone outside of them..... Doesn't that seem blantantly contradictory to any type of acceptance... the more distinctions (walls) the easier it is to be confined inside them...


I see it as an aspect... only because of the semantics used, i don't see many things as a 'lifestyle' because i refuse to be bound by those walls... everything remains an aspect that makes me... me.

Park~

 

[~Dream~]

I totally respect that Parklife

and as I look at it tho ,walls are NOT insurmountable ,and can be broken down such as the walls between different diverse cultures and languages and even races.. thanks for your response

 

[Parklife]

Re: I totally respect that Parklife

and as I look at it tho ,walls are NOT insurmountable ,and can be broken down such as the walls between different diverse cultures and languages and even races.. thanks for your response

Oh,now that i can agree with but what I got from the Scene article quote is a building of a wall, not a breaking of one. i'm all for breaking walls... but to build one to break it doesn't make sense.. and to build one seems only to create distinction..

"Yet, as a whole We should be able to come together, share ideas, learn, teach and grow. "

I like that in relation to others... i just don't like the wall analogy...

 

[serijules]

Another poster had recently said they dont think of BDSM as a "lifestyle 'at all but as only an 'aspect"of our lives and it made me curious as to how does the community in THIS forum feel about it?
Is it indeed a "lifestyle" for you or do you just see it as another "aspect" of your everyday life,or maybe both? there are no right or wrong answers,only questions from a person "New to the lifestyle that I like to call BDSM..

The words above that mostly closely fit my view are "the lifestyle that I like to call BDSM".

'that I like to call'...to be more specific...

I often use the word lifestyle when talking about all people that have an active interest in BDSM. If we insist on getting down to exact meanings, history, definition, use...of the word lifestyle, perhaps it's not the best word choice.

However, I really dislike being bound by an exact definition of a word and it's appropriatness in an opinion. It just seems so silly to get so technical. I prefer a little more freedom in my wording, I use terms pretty loosely and still seem to manage to get my thoughts across.

I had an 'argument' with someone elsewhere recently over the terms sadist and brat. By dictionary definition, neither are positive terms in the least and in would even be considered huge insults to most people based on those definitions. However, the spanking and bdsm community has molded those words to have slightly different, less negative meanings to them. Many many terms are molded by the people that use them to fit the situation. I think "lifestyle" is a classic example of that.

So, lifestyle, aspect or whatnot, BDSM is a part of my life and a part of who I am. Definitions be damned...

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: BDSM-Lifestyle or Aspect?

So, lifestyle, aspect or whatnot, BDSM is a part of my life and a part of who I am. Definitions be damned...

I like that kind of thinking.

Eb

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: BDSM-Lifestyle or Aspect?

The words above that mostly closely fit my view are "the lifestyle that I like to call BDSM".

'that I like to call'...to be more specific...

I often use the word lifestyle when talking about all people that have an active interest in BDSM. If we insist on getting down to exact meanings, history, definition, use...of the word lifestyle, perhaps it's not the best word choice.

However, I really dislike being bound by an exact definition of a word and it's appropriatness in an opinion. It just seems so silly to get so technical. I prefer a little more freedom in my wording, I use terms pretty loosely and still seem to manage to get my thoughts across.

I had an 'argument' with someone elsewhere recently over the terms sadist and brat. By dictionary definition, neither are positive terms in the least and in would even be considered huge insults to most people based on those definitions. However, the spanking and bdsm community has molded those words to have slightly different, less negative meanings to them. Many many terms are molded by the people that use them to fit the situation. I think "lifestyle" is a classic example of that.

So, lifestyle, aspect or whatnot, BDSM is a part of my life and a part of who I am. Definitions be damned...

__________________
**applauds! well said Serijules!!**

 

[artful]

Re: Re: BDSM-Lifestyle or Aspect?

So, lifestyle, aspect or whatnot, BDSM is a part of my life and a part of who I am. Definitions be damned...

Ahh seri,...your entire post was well received by me. I also sense a kindred spirit who doesn't often agree with "Webster's", particularly defined words of expression. (shakes your hand)-

 

[MissTaken]

The article rings of isolationism and elitism, but that may be just my take.

No walls.
No thank you.

As for "lifestyle" vs "aspect," As already posted, I use the word "lifestyle" to quickly and easily indicate a group of BDSMers.

I don't seriously refer to myself as a sub, I have a submissive nature.

I only do labels when it is the easiest way to make a point and I am short of time.

I like what I like and a lot of what I like has been the result of studying and involvement in BDSM.

 

[Ghost's amaris]

serijules,

I just fully agree with you on that and the meaning.

I do thing that what Dream was tring to say is that we all have to stick together and keep the religious goups and that from making it to where we dont have the right as consenting adults to live our lives as we see fit and try to make us them which we are not and mostlikely never will be.

Ghost's amaris