bdsm addiction

[bdsm_lover]

wow. catalina. what, are you a quack or something? maybe trying to be one practicing on forums? shit, remind me to never come see you when i have a problem. with all the assumptions you make i might start disbelieving myself and go and slit my wrists. you dont know everything. so stop acting like you do. take the silver spoon outa your mouth and then try talking. little bitch....

 

[princesssuzanne]

hi

.....

 

[ImOnIt]

wow. catalina. what, are you a quack or something? maybe trying to be one practicing on forums? shit, remind me to never come see you when i have a problem. with all the assumptions you make i might start disbelieving myself and go and slit my wrists. you dont know everything. so stop acting like you do. take the silver spoon outa your mouth and then try talking. little bitch....

Firstly, I disbelieve you are responsible for a child. Secondly, I minimise your humanity in order to better reconcile my hope that people as a whole are a good thing with this... excrement you have delivered.

Finally, all of these insults apply to yourself and none to Catalina. They aren't remotely connected to what she said. They are a reflection of what other people think of you.

Either that, or you just don't know what the term 'silver spoon' refers to. See my first point. I really hope you are lying about the baby, too.

 

[bdsm_lover]

Fuck off and die

 

[ImOnIt]

Fuck off and die

NO U.

 

[chy_girl]

Hi everyone.

Recently I have been fantasizing about tying my wife up and dominating her. Spanking, whips, invading her pussy and asshole with objects, dildos etc. Having her crawl around on all fours doing my will, punishing her for not.

Im worried what she will think though. How can I slowly introduce it without scaring her off? I have tied her up and blind folded her and teased her before and she does like a bit of spanking when doing doggie. But how do I step it up a notch?

Plus she looks after our baby all day and gets no help except from me before and after work. So she is always tired and doesnt really want sex much. How can I help her to relax and get to thinking more about sex?

Any advice would be muchly appreciated.

A practical word of advice from the bottom half - Please learn how to use the whip before trying it out on your wife. Preferably learn how to use the whip from someone who actually knows what the hell they're doing and can top without flaying their bottom. Especially with a single tail. And cat o nine's. Well, most anything that falls into the "whip" category. Even if it has fat falls and looks thuddy. Now that I think about it though, that can go for floggers, too. But I think that has more to do with the beveling of the falls than the actual implement.

Ok, so maybe you should consider making some local Top-type friends before hitting her with anything not physically attached to your body. And some that is physically attached to your body. Stunt bottoming only goes so far even for the more masochistic among us.

Oh! And if you find a local Top-type to mentor you they might also be able to teach you how to tie her up in a way that minimizes the risk of nerve damage and can be a quick release for emergencies and such. Some of the rope work can be beautifully and artistically done with enough practice! Especially basket weaves. They leave very pretty (though far to temporary) imprints.

And there isn't any need to tell me to fuck off, I've already gotten the picture. Just wanted to toss out a bit of advice for any impact play noob that runs across this in the future. We may refer to certain implements as "toys" but the reality is that they can be incredibly dangerous in the hands of someone untrained in the application on humans.

I hope you have a beautiful day and an absolutely delightful week!

 

[bdsm_lover]

A practical word of advice from the bottom half - Please learn how to use the whip before trying it out on your wife. Preferably learn how to use the whip from someone who actually knows what the hell they're doing and can top without flaying their bottom. Especially with a single tail. And cat o nine's. Well, most anything that falls into the "whip" category. Even if it has fat falls and looks thuddy. Now that I think about it though, that can go for floggers, too. But I think that has more to do with the beveling of the+falls+than+the+actual+implement.+Ok,+so+maybe+you+should+consider+making+some+local+Top-type+friends+before+hitting+her+with+anything+not+physically+attached+to+your+body.+And+some+that+is+physically+attached+to+your+body.+Stunt+bottoming+only+goes+so+far+even+for+the+more+masochistic+among+us.
Oh!+And+if+you+find+a+local+Top-type+to+mentor+you+they+might+also+be+able+to+teach+you+how+to+tie+her+up+in+a+way+that+minimizes+the+risk+of+nerve+damage+and+can+be+a+quick+release+for+emergencies+and+such.+Some+of+the+rope+work+can+be+beautifully+and+artistically+done+with+enough+practice!+Especially+basket+weaves.+They+leave+very+pretty+(though+far+to+temporary)+imprints.
And+there+isn't+any+need+to+tell+me+to+fuck+off,+I've+already+gotten+the+picture.+Just+wanted+to+toss+out+a+bit+of+advice+for+any+impact+play+noob+that+runs+across+this+in+the+future.+We+may+refer+to+certain+implements+as+"toys"+but+the+reality+is+that+they+can+be+incredibly+dangerous+in+the+hands+of+someone+untrained+in+the+application+on+humans.
I+hope+you+have+a+beautiful+day+and+an+absolutely+delightful+week!

Thankyou.+i+hope+you+have+a+wonderful+week+too!
we+havent+got+as+far+as+using+whips+etc.+she+is+more+just+into+the+bondage+and+dominating+than+anything+else.+dont+know+what+the+future+will+hold+though+so+looking+forward+to+finding+out.+thanks+for+the+info+;+)
oh+and+i+would+never+tell+you+to+F+off.++:+}

 

[chy_girl]

Thankyou.+i+hope+you+have+a+wonderful+week+too!
we+havent+got+as+far+as+using+whips+etc.+she+is+more+just+into+the+bondage+and+dominating+than+anything+else.+dont+know+what+the+future+will+hold+though+so+looking+forward+to+finding+out.+thanks+for+the+info+;+)
oh+and+i+would+never+tell+you+to+F+off.++:+}

If you haven't joined Fetlife yet, you might consider it. It's an awesome resource for finding local munches, kinky get togethers, play parties, and even things like support groups, demonstrations, classes and conventions!

The munches might also be a good way to not only spend some quality "grown-up" time with your wife and have a kid-free dinner, but it could be a non-threatening way to introduce her to some other forms of play. You know, let her hear about things from other subs/slaves/bottom-types. They'll be able to help her suss out her own desires as well as explain some of the more bottom-oriented... challenges and aspects. I'd never have imagined how much there is to it when I started in my local community a year ago. *giggles* But a year ago I'd never have imagined that I could take the kind of play that I do. The support of other subs... It really is invaluable for the learning process. And the same for the Top-types. Everyone has their own personal flair, but the safety is always number one. It's not good to break the toys, as my ex-Dom use to say!

And thank you for the return wish of a good week! But even if it isn't the best, there's always the option of looking for the bright spots!

 

[fma20fma]

hi

cane is our favotite and my bf can do it well on my bare bottom.I have reached my climax many times during the caning.

 

[Liberavivas]

I don't want to necropost a dying thread, but I've had three children myself, and I have to admit I felt for the OP's wife, and wanted to share my experience.

I think that talking is very important, but the first bit of talking you need to do is to listen... listen to what's going on for her, how she's finding motherhood and what help she needs. Everyone is different, and having a first baby is a very difficult transition. How your wife reacts to it will depend on lots of things, including her personality, her background and how she was parented herself, and her experience of birth and parenthood. In my experience, one child is the biggest shock to the system, the second child is less of a shock but seems to be at least four times the work, and the third is barely more than two.

I have a very high sex drive, but I didn't feel like sex for at least six weeks, and I wasn't enthusiastic for about a year. I was breastfeeding and certainly felt tired. I adore motherhood, loved having babies, but even I felt I needed to reclaim myself from the children. On the other hand, what I wanted from my partner was to feel that he was sharing the burden of being responsible for the children, and some loving, and caring.

I agree with the poster who advised supporting her and trying not to be another person making demands on her body. Many mothers find that to be an issue... being at the beck and call of a child, and spending a lot of time being available to them can make you want to regain autonomy and control your own body - and that's not a good time to start suggesting she experiment with being a submissive.

On the other hand, some women find the responsibility of taking care of another human being weighs heavily on them, and maybe someone who feels like that about it would welcome play where they need take no responsibility or take any decisions.

What is clear- and what you are probably sensing - is that if you get this wrong you could make it very unlikely that she will participate willingly. If you get it right it should work for both of you. I agree with other posters that you need to rein in your fantasies and be more patient. To get it really right, you will need to forget what you want, forget sex, and find out what she wants.

Most women know exactly what they are longing for. It might be the chance to have a massage and go to sleep with no sex. It might be to have someone else look after the baby to let them have a bath, or read a book, or something else. It might be feeling desirable.

I can see that you might feel you are getting the rough end of the deal there, if you are working and helping out with the baby and trying to give your wife what she needs... when do you get what you want? The thing is, though, you are much more likely to get what you want, if you make sure she is getting what she needs first.

Easy ways into it are to ask her if she minds you initiating sex and maybe to set up a safe word. You don't have to frighten her with tales of beating and whips. You could tell her that if she really doesn't feel like it, she can use the safe word and you'll cuddle instead...and if ever she doesn't want to continue with sex she can use it then too. Just so that you know when no means no, and when no means... hmmm carry on and get me to the point where I want it too.... You have to follow through with this, though, and allow her to use it if she wants to, with NO negative consequences... no hard words, no sulking, no carrying on. She has to learn to trust you if you are ever going to move forward and explore BDSM together. You have to learn to trust yourself. This is good practice.

When my lover and I started to see each other, we went through lists of things to decide which things excited us and which things we'd never do in any circumstances. It seems to me that if she tells you she'd like to cuddle, that would be a good time to talk about things you have already done and how much you enjoyed them... and ask her about her experiences, whether they aroused her, whether she liked them, what it was she liked or disliked about them. That's much easier than talking about new and possibly scary things.

Learning about your wife and about her feelings and desires is going to help you in the future. Learning to control yourself and not to be carried away by your desires is also helpful. Some things in BDSM are going to get dangerous fast if you cannot do this. Regard it as training.


~Lib~