Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

Water efficient toilets use 1.6 gallons of water to flush. You can wash urine down a sink with less than a cup of water.

 

[stickygirl]

If you're bf feels guilty that you have period pain, kick him in the balls. Sharing is caring

 

[mnbreastluver]

Save money at the grocery store by developing a meth addiction.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you're battling long-term constipation, go to the county fair and get on every bouncy, jerky, spinning ride you can find. If you don't clog the toilet the next day I'll issue you a refund on the cost of this tip.

 

[cascadiabound]

Nothing on TV? Or your TV is streaming so intermittently it's impossible to watch the one thing you are interested in?
turn your TV into target practice using the weapon of your choice. I recommend atlatl
(I'm def needing practice with my atlatl aim)

 

[mnbreastluver]

Get a doctor that does not carry medical malpractice insurance. They'll be more motivated not to screw things up.

 

[Trubbycat]

When at a sex club walk around sobbing and grabbing people in psychotic bear hugs. Guaranteed mercy fucks.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Pretend that you are blind so you can stare at them tit-tays.

 

[Trubbycat]

If you're broke you can pass off counterfeit bills at the titty bar. They never check.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When planning your day, always set unrealistically large goals. That way you can feel like a failure when you inevitably don't finish everything.

 

[Trubbycat]

A loud fart does not count when they said "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

 

[mnbreastluver]

Have a cough? Go home tonight and eat a whole box of ex-lax, that way, tomorrow you will be too scared to cough.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

Never use lube.

You get more sensitive after that first few layers of skin rubs off.

 

[Shenanigans90]

Stop wasting money on deodorant, women prefer the natural scent of a man.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

She will love it if you come home smelling like your coworker's perfume.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

Tell her to calm down. She will appreciate the suggestion.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Change your name to a famous pornstar's name. Then when employers look you up for a job offer, all they get is porn.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to enjoy a transatlantic cruise for free? Simply get a large inflatable mattress and float out to sea where cruise ships pass by. Wave at the cruise ships until one notices you and picks you up. They will give you place to stay and feed you all at no charge.

 

[English_guy_bkk]

Start smoking a pipe because it looks cool!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Cardiovascular problems? Wrap your heart in bacon, you’re cured.

 

[Trubbycat]

If you want to go viral have a friend film you teasing a bison at Yellowstone.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Before you ram into a car, make sure you look carefully to make sure there is no "baby on board" sticker.

 

[mnbreastluver]

A house viewing is the perfect opportunity to get rid of old stuff. The night before, dump all of your stuff you don't want, the real estate agent will be desperate to get rid of it.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

Ask her why she isn't as pretty as her sister.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Don't waste money on buying a carpet for your home. Instead, get two free carpet samples, and tie them to your feet