Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

If you say “no offense” you an say whatever the fuck you want and they can’t get mad.

 

[Misshotndeep]

If you say “no offense” you an say whatever the fuck you want and they can’t get mad.

I just come to this thread to see his post. Always damn hilarious!

Go back to your ex. They have changed into such a different person over the last month.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When the police, swat team, FBI or who ever barge into your house just stand behind a door and say “All Clear”

 

[mnbreastluver]

If someone is choking and being an attention seeker just ignore them and maybe they won’t do it again.

 

[VoraciousValue]

The only unlucky pennies are the ones you don't pick up. Especially on a busy street in traffic.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Only look one way when crossing a busy street.

 

[stickygirl]

Always help an old person across the road. That way if you're hit by a truck the old person cushions the blow

 

[saustin5432]

When it seems like the most logical, store things in your vagina.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your sitting at your laptop eating a meal and forgot seasoning just flip your keyboard over and shake vigorously.

 

[stickygirl]

Excuse your smelly fart as your means of checking other people for covid symptoms

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your ever visiting a lion safari always invite a friend you can outrun.

 

[stickygirl]

If you want to show a girl what a stud you are in bed, leave your socks on.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When your partner asks “Why don’t we have sex anymore?” Stump him/her by saying “Speak for yourself”

 

[Shenanigans90]

Do unto others before they do it to you.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Need a helmet but low on cash. Strap five bananas on your head.

 

[Sinstories]

If your ever visiting a lion safari always invite a friend you can outrun.

That is a good life tip that is applicable to pretty much any wilderness situation up to and including scuba diving.

 

[Shenanigans90]

Tell everyone you meet that you have a million dollar life insurance policy on yourself.

 

[JerseyJade]

When you're having sex or giving head and you don't want your man to cum yet, just squeeze his balls as tight as you can to keep him from ejaculating.

 

[Shenanigans90]

Women love it when you call them by the wrong name while in the throes of an orgasm.

 

[mnbreastluver]

The TSA lets you bring hot plates in your carry on so cook up some sizzling fajitas while on board.

 

[stickygirl]

When your crush comes in the room, watch their every move and do not break eye contact - that way they'll know you find them hot and you'll soon get a date.

For faster results, follow them into the next room.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When the clock strikes midnight New Years Eve. Passionately kiss your sister. It will show your date how close you two are.

 

[Kat73]

Midnight on NYE is the perfect time to go streaking.

 

[stickygirl]

If you suspect someone is contemplating suicide, ask them if you can have that nice vase you've had your eye on. In writing

 

[mnbreastluver]

With Valentine’s Day coming up. Cruise to your local cemetery. There’s plenty of lovely bouquets of flowers for free.