Bad Random Life Tips.

[HotBrand]

Homemade smoothies taste so good because of the air that gets blended into the mix.

Aid this process by blending with the lid off.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you ever feel like time goes by too fast, just unplug your clocks!

 

[CreamyOnTheInside]

Where a woman scorned will ignore you and put up walls, two women scorned will form an alliance and track down every place you've been and who you've talked to in the last 17 years.

Forgot that salespersons name with the innovative product? Need to recall where you saw ol' whats-his-nuts?

Have a fling! Everything you've ever done, ever, will be rediscovered and laid out for you!

 

[mnbreastluver]

You can avoid jury duty simply by confessing to all of the relevant crimes in the case at hand.

 

[SweetCheeks_95]

When watching a movie with a group of people randomly ask questions to make sure they are paying attention.

 

[lanceGibs]

Whenever your boss is mad at you,call on their SO and flirt with them.

 

[HotBrand]

Show your SO that you're up for a threesome by letting them catch you having sex in your shared bed.

If they're right for you, they'll jump right on in!

 

[stickygirl]

Set a man's their beard on fire to give them something real to complain about

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you have terminal cancer you can contact the Make-a-Wish Foundation and ask to be cured.

 

[HotBrand]

"Use By" dates set the date that food expires.

Change the Use By date.

Now food will never go off!

 

[HotBrand]

Are you a party animal that wants to know where it's at?

Write your number down in the men's toilets of a bar. Tell them to call you for a good time.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

 

[Jake069258]

Find the most attractive girl at work, and give her a smack on the ass whilst saying "damn you fine girl!" She'll appreciate it.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Poking the Sorority sister hood of itty bitty’s in the boo boo hole or bumping older threads , your choice . Both are dangerous!!

Jason , Face thrill fucking seeker

 

[Jordan90]

Dog earing the pages of books is a sign of intelligence. Dog ear more books and I'll think you're super smart.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Healthy eating tip: Eat 2 slices of pizza together back to back it will only count as 1 slice.

 

[Crankbait88]

Always blame a fart on an elderly person. It's known they are incontinent and can't hold their flatulence.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Forgot to pull up the toilet seat? Peed all over it? Simply pull it up after the fact. It will all fall down eventually and you won't have to clean it.

 

[EnigmaSquared]

Whenever you go in for a job interview, pick a fight with the interviewer. It lets them know you aren't some pussy who's afraid of confrontation. And if you really want the job, take a swing at the person. Hell, if you land the hit, they might make you VP on the spot.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Instead of exercising, just drink coffee until you reach your target heart rate for cardio.

 

[HotBrand]

Want to be the perfect thief?

Go into a shop, kick up a fuss, and shout: "Don't you know who I *AM*?!"

If they reply that they haven't a clue, casually take everything that you can carry.

I mean, it's not like they know who you are, right?

 

[HotBrand]

Spice up your sex life by using food and an aphrodisiac.

Smear your genitals in oyster and invite your partner to go down on you.

You're welcome, reader.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your washing machine moves about when you use it, put a brick in with your laundry to weigh it down.

 

[HotBrand]

If you want to make it as a chef, you've got to really put yourself into your cooking.

Always add your blood, sweat, and tears.

Mmm ... tastes like true effort ...

 

[mnbreastluver]

Put the hoodie you're wearing over your penis to keep it warm after you cum.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you have to go to the hospital while having a heart attack take an Uber rather than an ambulance because of the ambulance bill.