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Bad Random Life Tips.

Call an ambulance to your home saying that someone has been electrocuted by a live wire and is no longer conscious.

Proceed to fix that faulty wiring in your house without any insulation.

If you get shocked, you know help will be at hand, you clever thing.
If you are not shocked, they should be GRATEFUL you're not injured.
 
Spend hours a day on Literotica

A great way to "kill time" is to hang out on Literotica for hours every day. They say that "time is the stuff that life is made out of." So, the more time you can kill the sooner it will all be over.

I wonder how many have read this entire thread?:eek::confused:
 
Can't find a babysitter? Just tell your kids a monster will eat them if they leave their rooms.
 
Tattoo the wrong blood type on your wrist for more exciting ambulance rides in the event of a medical crisis.
 
Inspire your sex partner with statements such as: "well, my ex did it like *this* and I never struggled to cum back then".

Your partner will appreciate the opportunity to learn.
 
mnbreastluver said:
Tattoo the wrong blood type on your wrist for more exciting ambulance rides in the event of a medical crisis.
Click to expand...

I *love* this!!

Inspired by mnbreastlover:

Worried that you might die in hospital?

Take someone else's life support machine - just in case the worst should happen.
 
If you tilt the steering wheel just right, you can hide the 'check engine' light and get 1,000 more guilt-free miles!
 
Don't have money to put gas in your car? Buy a Tesla! Problem solved.
 
Could it be that he is just NOT that into you?

Tell him that must be the reason and you need someone with a bigger dick.
 
Spam is a perfectly wholesome, delicious, and nutritious food substance.

HotBrand said:
Remember: you're not cheating on your partner if you have sex in front of them.

If anything, they'll appreciate your honesty and join in.
Click to expand...

"There was a guy, walked in this house one night, and caught his old lady wrong, I mean dead wrong! Dead wrong. He stood there in the doorway. This old lady was pretty slick though. She was laying there in bed with the neighbor, looked at her husband She said, 'That's right! Go ahead and stand there and believe your goddamn lying eyes!!'"

-- Redd Foxx
 
If you're looking for female companionship, the guy with the purple hat with the feather in it is always a good place to start. :rolleyes:
 
Tinder is for beginners. Go to Facebook marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It'll show you recently divorced females in your area. From there you can filter by size.
 
sally_sparrow said:
Tinder is for beginners. Go to Facebook marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It'll show you recently divorced females in your area. From there you can filter by size.
Click to expand...

THIS will make me laugh for hours! What a horrible - and yet most likely effective - bit of advice!
 
Go to the ICU part of a hospital and check if the life support machines are in perfect order.

If suspicious, turn them off, wait thirty seconds, and turn them on again.

That'll fix 'em.
 
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