Bad Random Life Tips.

[stickygirl]

Butter both sides of your toast and that way, if it falls on the floor, you'll have the good side up

 

[mnbreastluver]

Can't afford Therapist; hire a cam girl. A private session with a cam girl is much more cost effective than a therapy session. They will listen to your problems and as an added bonus they will get naked.

 

[baculum]

To restore that "just washed" freshness to underwear.
Wrap underwear around a golf ball and microwave on high 11 minutes.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for the night; light a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Gone fishing all day but there's nothing biting? Throw explosives in the lake and watch the fish float up to you.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Shards of glass are a great replacement for lunch if you're too busy to eat.

Gone fishing all day but there's nothing biting? Throw explosives in the lake and watch the fish float up to you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsquwaMI2Ec

 

[Jada59]

Forgot to wash your clothes? Just paint them on!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Instead of using a trash can, flush all your trash down the toilet. This will save you having to take out the trash.

 

[stickygirl]

If you ride shotgun, make sure it is well greased or else it can chafe

 

[99Freedom]

Go ahead. See if it hurts.

 

[DarkSimian]

A cup of Purell each morning will prevent Coronavirus

 

[Jasminelit]

Go ahead and get that cute little puppy your 11 year old wants. I'm sure she'll take care of it every day for the next 12 years just like she promised.

 

[HeavyBalls]

Go in, whiz on the the electric fence... It makes orgasms more intense!

 

[DarkSimian]

Go ahead and eat the free mints in the urinals

 

[mnbreastluver]

Watch hours of porn before every job interview. Then walk in with your raging erection to prove your enthusiasm for the job.

 

[baculum]

During a job interview always remember to:
Call a female interviewer "Cocksucker".
Call a male interviewer "Cuntlicker".
Refer to previous employers as "Buttfuckers".
Refer to previous coworkers as "Jackoffs".

 

[GiggLeGasm]

... So that you don't soil your dinner attire, you will want to stirfry your broccoli in the nude..

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want milk? get your girl pregnant and you've got free milk for a year.

 

[Jada59]

To get to the front of the line quicker, whip your mask off and start coughing.

 

[stickygirl]

For the ultimate edging experience, lie down by the zucchini plant, pop one in and wait for it to grow. Orgasm in two - three days

 

[mnbreastluver]

How to make penis look bigger!! Put some ice in your pants so your balls seize up and make your dick look bigger in comparison. (Note: does not work if the person you are trying to trick has a ruler)

 

[mnbreastluver]

Women love sensitive guys. So, when you are on a date punch yourself in the balls to induce pain and tears. You will get laid for sure.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When going hiking, bring a gallon of honey mixed with tuna. Then if you see a bear, cover yourself with the mixture. This shows the bear that you're not a threat, but someone who is sweet and lovable.

 

[English_Oak]

Dwell on the bad shit, sweat the little things and miss out on the good stuff because you were looking the other way.

 

[DarkSimian]

Call all your friends bitches and niggas to appear cool