Bad Random Life Tips.

[VoraciousValue]

Stop! Hammer Time!

 

[Jada59]

Save all the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag. You'll need it when it snows. Or when being attacked by slugs.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Move to Detroit. Much cheaper to buy than to rent!

 

[Jada59]

Break something glass. It will force you to clean the floor.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Always wait a full 8 hours to call an ambulance just in case the person is just sleeping.

 

[VoraciousValue]

It's alright. Go ahead and piss on Mr. Rogers' grave. Show that little prick how you really feel.

 

[stickygirl]

Rhubarb leaves make a nice addition to a salad: sprinkle on some flaked daffodil bulbs for decoration

 

[mnbreastluver]

Put your penis in a toaster to keep it warm.

 

[stickygirl]

Most of the heat from a gas fire goes straight up the chimney, assuming you have an older house!! If you fill a large foil bag with ash and push it up the chimney: it'll reflect the heat back into the room and won't catch fire itself. Safety first!

 

[VoraciousValue]

Get in touch with yourself by masturbating in a pile of your own filth.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to get out of an aggressive situation where someone wants to fight you? Get ready for the fight by taking off your shirt. Take a step further by stripping down to full naked and the aggressor will freak out and run away.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Go to a stockyard and wave a red cape at the cows. It's fun and you get a much-needed workout.

 

[mnbreastluver]

To save money on condoms, stick your dick in hot wax! once it cools and you take it off, you have a good reusable condom!

 

[LikeableMe]

To save money on condoms, stick your dick in hot wax! once it cools and you take it off, you have a good reusable condom!

Oh god, I can see people actually trying that if they saw it somewhere on the internet!

 

[mnbreastluver]

It you're wondering how much your penis weighs, weigh yourself, then chop your penis off and weigh yourself without it! All you gotta do is subtract the numbers.

 

[stickygirl]

It you're wondering how much your penis weighs, weigh yourself, then chop your penis off and weigh yourself without it! All you gotta do is subtract the numbers.

I laughed a lot. Genius

 

[mnbreastluver]

See a woman walking at night, follows her to make sure she gets back home safe!

 

[stickygirl]

If a cop shouts "Raise your arms" they're asking to see what kind of sidearms you carry and you should obey

 

[frustratedthoughts]

A slice of red onion in the DVD drive of your laptop is a natural way to prevent computer viruses.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If he accidentally cums in you just put your pussy in some rice.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Making sweet love with a milk cow can take the edge off if it's been awhile since you've had human sex.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Use a picture of your genitals as a wallpaper so nobody will want to use your phone.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Open your own abortion clinic at home. All you need is an ice cream scoop.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Solve your insecurity issues about being the short one in the relationship by soley dating dwarves.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Drink before you drive, face all that stress with confidence!!