Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

With a positive attitude, a can-do spirit and a bone saw, anybody can lick their own elbow.

 

[Coranhorn]

Anything is a dildo if you are brave enough.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Someone on Craigslist, etc, trying to get you to give your valuable items away for free? Agree to it, and set the meeting point someplace with a public webcam. Then sit back and watch from home.

 

[stickygirl]

Anything is a dildo if you are brave enough.

We don't normally comment here, but I laughed a lot

Ok...

Guys - women are bored with the same old penis shape. Use you imagination and whittle it into something novel

 

[Lastingimpressions]

Scratching yourself in public releases a natural pheromone that is detectable by the opposite sex.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Haven't had a physical in a few years? Let COVID-19 see if you have any underlying medical conditions!

 

[stickygirl]

Dig some dirt, take a dump in it and if something grows it must be good to eat because you've had it once already. Dump and repeat

 

[trashymusic]

When its foggy drive faster so you wont get rear-ended

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Since tp is being hoarded, paying for needs in rationed toilet paper.

 

[Lastingimpressions]

IcyHot is a good substitute for hemmorrhoid cream.

 

[stickygirl]

When its foggy drive faster so you wont get rear-ended

Excellent advice! Also

Keep your fog lights, especially rear ones, switched on all the time, because you can't be too careful. To be extra safe, keep your LED headlights on full beam too. Fuckers

 

[mnbreastluver]

Use a decimal point instead of a comma to save money. Buy a car for $23.000

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you want to have sex with a prostitute, avoid legal issues by filming it and claiming you are shooting a porno. Prostitution is illegal, being a porn star is not.

 

[stickygirl]

Live alone and worried about coronavirus? Adopt an orphan: having a dependent will bump you up the queue for oxygen and emergency care

 

[stickygirl]

Becoming a flasher is the responsible way of perking up your sex life during coronavirus: maintain a safe distance, exercise alone and wear a mask

 

[Jada59]

Try forming the meat around the bun before cooking for an inside out burger.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

For a jam sandwich just smush two pieces of bread together.

 

[EctoJohn]

Go out and lick a cruise ship right now.
After that, take a walking, touching tour of Italy.

 

[Jada59]

Send the poster above you a dick pic, or if you have no dick, a really raunchy PM. They'll love you for it!

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you stub your toe and it bleeds, to stop the bleeding, do a handstand so the blood goes to your head.

 

[VoraciousValue]

The stock market will never go down. No. . . .

 

[mulehead61]

When you make your post on a new AmPic thread please say “wow, beautiful..can’t wait to see more” and fire off that lame pm right away.

 

[Butterflygurl1]

Since all the liquor and gun stores are open during the pandemic, bring some of both in the house to start your quarantine with your spouse or significant other on the right foot.

 

[VoraciousValue]

The truck stop lot lizard is always a good option to blow a load. She's only $20.

 

[stickygirl]

Keep your community safe from coronavirus by attacking a telecoms engineer