Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

Always drink on an empty stomach! You get drunk faster plus more money for more beer!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Looking for a new business venture? Join a pottery class and make dildos that you can later sell.

 

[Mr_bogey]

Get in a political discussion with someone who likes you. It always ends well.

 

[sally_sparrow]

There is nothing wrong with having sex right after chopping jalapenos.

 

[Kat73]

Women love when you hit on their sisters.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you're being chased on foot by the cops, get completely naked. Now they can't arrest you because that would be gay.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Deep throat your straw while drinking softdrink to reduce damage to your teeth

 

[stickygirl]

Spitting gum on the sidewalk reduces wear on the surface and keeps down civic costs

 

[mnbreastluver]

To prevent burning/stinging pain when chopping onions, squeeze a little bit of fresh lemon juice into your eyes before starting.

 

[stickygirl]

Gay men: if you want people to know you are gay, you should buy sanitary products from the pharmacy. Only gay men and women buy sanitary products

 

[kurrginatorX]

If you regret your life choices, just commit suicide and let reincarnation give you that second chance you've always clamored for.

 

[stickygirl]

If you only steal from the rich, you'll soon be rich yourself, then steal from yourself and claim those losses against tax

 

[Sweet_Lara]

you guys are killin' it


Tit for tat: Shine a flashlight in the eyes of an officer who chooses to do the same to you.

 

[asianmom42]

you guys are killin' it


Tit for tat: Shine a flashlight in the eyes of an officer who chooses to do the same to you.

Don't help little old ladies across the street-they prefer to take their time and cause traffic jams.

 

[stickygirl]

Don't help little old ladies across the street-they prefer to take their time and cause traffic jams.

If you see that old lady, honk your horn and keep honking. She'll think that darned hearing aid is giving feedback again

 

[mnbreastluver]

When driving in very sunny weather, make sure to put on a blindfold to ensure the sun can not blind you.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Visit an old folks' home and try to convince perfect strangers that you are their child.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to get healthier? Start smoking just to stop. Watch people congratulate you for doing essentially absolutely nothing!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Invite your SO to an orgy for the sole purpose of taking pics you can later use for blackmail.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Make your death easier on your loved ones. Be an asshole your entire life.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Don't be afraid to share your feelings. With everyone. Anytime and anywhere.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Leave your toothbrush next to your toilet for added flavor.

 

[fisherfella]

Run with the bulls as often as you like...

 

[frustratedthoughts]

Want whiter teeth without expensive dental procedures? Just swish and gargle with bleach twice daily. For an added bonus, use scented bleach (I recommend Crisp Lemon Clorox), and you will have lovely smelling breath as well!

 

[mnbreastluver]

A great way to lose weight fast is to get pneumonia! I lost 10 pounds in 10 days! So can you!