Bad Random Life Tips.

[sally_sparrow]

You can always cut out your favorite parts of books you get from the library.

 

[stickygirl]

To help young kids feel socially confident, teach them all your slang and sexual expressions so they can try them out at parties and with friends. Make under 5's your target age group.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Looking for a hot single scene ? Cruise the cemetery and hit on the one crying the most.

 

[stickygirl]

On a first date? Ask to take a mouth swab for any later paternity test

 

[mnbreastluver]

Buy your wife or GF an expensive piece of jewelry for Valentine’s Day and keep it your pocket while you give her a cheap gift. If she complains that you’re a tightwad, give her the jewelry, if not, return it and spend the refund money on something nice for yourself.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Clipping your toenails while in church or at fancy restaurants is perfectly acceptable behavior.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you are thinking about dating both a mom and her daughter, date the daughter first. It'll make the mom feel like she still "has it" when you eventually date her and the daughter won't care and will go back to instagramming avacado toast.

 

[kurrginatorX]

The reason it's called "Angel Dust" is because once you've tried it, you really can fly, so climb up to the 20th floor, get yourself a big snort, and just dive off the edge.

 

[asianmom42]

The reason it's called "Angel Dust" is because once you've tried it, you really can fly, so climb up to the 20th floor, get yourself a big snort, and just dive off the edge.

Just follow kurrginatorX' advice

 

[mnbreastluver]

Guys, if you use some form of lube to rub one out, use ghost pepper oil instead. Works just as good and as a bonus it'll make your dick a reddish hue.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Just follow kurrginatorX' advice

Follow asianmom42's advice.

 

[asianmom42]

Follow asianmom42's advice.

Always floss with steak knives.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Every year 15 planes crash. If you shoot 15 down yourself you're sure yours won't crash and there's no reason to be afraid. Crisis averted.

 

[asianmom42]

Every year 15 planes crash. If you shoot 15 down yourself you're sure yours won't crash and there's no reason to be afraid. Crisis averted.

shine a very bright light in oncoming cars drivers eyes so they see you

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you ever go to prison, shove a rusty screw head first up your ass to prevent rape.

 

[kurrginatorX]

If you're having "Female Problems," just dump her and get a new one. Repeat as often as necessary.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you are standing behind someone late at night at the ATM kiss the back of their neck gently so they know you’re not a threat.

 

[asianmom42]

If you're having "Female Problems," just dump her and get a new one. Repeat as often as necessary.

And if the opposite, just go John Wayne Bobbit on him. Repeat as necessary

 

[Sh75]

Believe everything you read and are told. Its gospel

 

[asianmom42]

Believe everything you read and are told. Its gospel

Always listen to stick figures

 

[Sh75]

Always listen to stick figures

That is wonderful advice

 

[asianmom42]

That is wonderful advice

always listen to asian moms

 

[sally_sparrow]

Tell your boss you have to get something from your car, and then just go home

 

[asianmom42]

Tell your boss you have to get something from your car, and then just go home

Tell everyone you won the megalotto so they give you free stuff

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your too lazy to walk around in a grocery store, just jump on somebody else’s cart.