Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

Or better yet... so you can be collared and purr at the boss' command.

True.

The best way to mask alcoholism is to drink a lot steadily so you hardly ever appear to be drunk.

 

[stickygirl]

True.

The best way to mask alcoholism is to drink a lot steadily so you hardly ever appear to be drunk.

Sadly true

Pee in lemonade and you have champagne

 

[kurrginatorX]

The tastiest part of any steak is the fat, so just throw away all that god-awful meat and enjoy.

 

[asianmom42]

The tastiest part of any steak is the fat, so just throw away all that god-awful meat and enjoy.

Never look both ways while crossing a busy road/intersection

 

[kurrginatorX]

You're not considered a Peeping Tom if the person is related to you, so just do it and enjoy.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you need to abort a boner while in a bathroom start flossing. Your dick will shrink all the way into your colon.

 

[LizVegas79]

If someone comes up to you and says "Does this look infected?" always, ALWAYS look.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Need to give someone bad news? Make up even worse news, first. That will make the bad news not that bad

 

[LizVegas79]

Find a resume better than yours on LinkedIn and use it for your next job interview.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Cut your nails with your hands submerged in the toilet water so that your nails don't fly everywhere.

 

[LizVegas79]

Cut your nails with your hands submerged in the toilet water so that your nails don't fly everywhere.

Grrrrr-rosssss!

Keep making toilet jokes so that I delete this thread from my favorites.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Grrrrr-rosssss!

Keep making toilet jokes so that I delete this thread from my favorites.

That’s why it’s bad random Life Tips.

Hate it when the alarm rings and it's time to rise and shine? make early mornings that little bit easier by quitting your job!

 

[WerdNerd]

Everything is free if you don't pay for it.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When choosing your wife, remember you're also choosing the mortal enemy you will have after divorce, so don't pick the most competent one.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Did your SO give you an STD? Return the favor by paying it forward to one of his / her siblings or parents.

 

[asianmom42]

Did your SO give you an STD? Return the favor by paying it forward to one of his / her siblings or parents.

Bet EVERYTHING you have on black on the roulette wheel.....

 

[mnbreastluver]

Use Counterfeit Money to save real money!

 

[Illnevertell79]

Never pay for your gas.. just pump and go...

 

[mnbreastluver]

Having more weight in your vehicle will decrease fuel economy. For best fuel economy, always run your gas tank as low as possible.

 

[Illnevertell79]

Always remember to changer your blinker fluid...

 

[mnbreastluver]

Magnify your phone screen by putting it in a glass of water.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Test how awesome the bartender is by seeing how long it takes for you to get drunk off of each drink you order.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Stop masturbating and your attitude will degenerate badly exponentially.

 

[cliteatingman]

Never pay for anything. Just give head instead

 

[kurrginatorX]

Does your neighbor have a garden that is the envy of the neighborhood? Urinate on it constantly to ensure it remains well-watered.