Bad Random Life Tips.

[Taegul]

Beehives are honey-flavored Piñatas. Swing away!

 

[Kat73]

Tell your SO that this morning's phone sex was way better than last night's sex.

 

[cliteatingman]

Compliment your lover by saying she is almost as good as her sister...

 

[mnbreastluver]

Set your fitbit water consumption amount to 0 and every day it will commend you for hitting your goal!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Guys, make bets against women only in things you know you will shine at. To wit: Writing your name in the snow with your urine.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Pour sulfuric acid on your genitals. Good for warts and herpes.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If washing your hands after going out can prevent you from catching diseases, then maybe the people who've been infected by the new Coronavirus could benefit from the past trend of eating Tide-Pods!

 

[stickygirl]

Weeping sores on your penis can be treated by reading them a light-hearted or comical story

 

[mnbreastluver]

Been told you only have 3 years left to live? Murder someone and get an extra 30 years.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Weeping sores on your penis can be treated by reading them a light-hearted or comical story

OMG!!! Brilliant!

Invent thrilling new games to play with your peers. Remember the "sissy test," where you would run an eraser across your wrist? Update that archaic pastime with "How many ________ stings can you suffer through?" Scorpions, hornets, and fire ants will work exceptionally well here. Oh, and don't forget to let your friend go first, that way you can watch his / her suffering before saying, "I concede."

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to spend a quiet night in but feeling pressured to go out? Buy a fake ankle monitor and tell them you're under house arrest.

 

[Mr_Underground]

Drink all of your mistresses wine and then use her body wash.

(Trust me...Its a bad idea on a lot of levels that I am not quite ready to explain to you dopes.)

 

[mnbreastluver]

Save business cards of people you don't like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write "sorry" on the back and leave it on the windshield.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Invest in burner phones.

 

[MsLead]

Save business cards of people you don't like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write "sorry" on the back and leave it on the windshield.

Making a mental note.....don't hit parked cars....
Making another note...don't hit cars...
Making a further note...don't hit anything....

Got it!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Recapture your lost youth by eating fetal stem cells.

 

[Taegul]

It's not too late to bet your life savings on the Browns winning the Super Bowl this year.

 

[TheOldProspector]

If'n you go to a dinner party at the Donner family, help yourself to seconds.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Handles are for wimps. Go ziplining with your bare hands.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Spray Your Headphones With Some "Johnson's No More Tangles" When They Are Tangled

 

[kurrginatorX]

Having difficulty in finding an SO? Are you tired of everyone lusting after your current SO? Lower your standards: Accept nothing less than a 600 pounder. Trust me. It's win-win.

 

[mnbreastluver]

An engagement ring should be worth 3 months salary, so the best time to buy a ring is when you're unemployed.

 

[stickygirl]

Frightened by Coronavirus? Quit drinking Mexican beer

 

[Dogma52]

Political discussions on first dates always seal the deal!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Political discussions on first dates always seal the deal!

As do religion and abortion.