Bad Random Life Tips.

[HoosierGuy1979]

Me. Dahmer, accept yourself for who you are.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Constantly place calls to Child Services concerning your neighbors. Your neighbors will appreciate you having their family's welfare at heart.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Think you're stupid? Follow my posts for a while and you'll realise that you're (relatively) intelligent!

 

[fsa52]

Think you're stupid? Follow my posts for a while and you'll realise that you're (relatively) intelligent!

Nah, they do fine showing their wit or nitwit by themselves!

 

[mnbreastluver]

To easily put on condoms wrap them around the opening of a gas can and put your penis into the opening and light the gas on fire to shrink the condom to perfect size

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

To easily put on condoms wrap them around the opening of a gas can and put your penis into the opening and light the gas on fire to shrink the condom to perfect size

That may feel like a bit of a pinch.


Pasties on a budget = decorative Band-Aids

 

[mnbreastluver]

Woke up with a cowlick in your hair? Lick the cow back.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

You want to dry your hair quickly but have no electricity? Stick your head in the oven while it's set at broil (when it's a gas oven).

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you are being chased by a bear, and don't know what kind it is, climb a tree. If it climbs up after you it's a black bear. If it knocks the tree down, it's a brown bear.

 

[Stillrandy]

Learning...

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fe/e1/77/fee177613f17be908a8342d04ecdd558.jpg

 

[mnbreastluver]

Stare into the sun to get night vision.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Cross a very busy road by stripping and then walking across. Somehow, traffic will automatically stop for you.

 

[mnbreastluver]

The blunt ends of plastic utensils fit inside your ears and can clean them way more thoroughly than a q-tip. You get so much more gunk out this way and it feels so good!

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

An alternative when bras are so expensive. Wrap your chest with stockings.

 

[QuietCanadian]

An alternative when bras are so expensive. Wrap your chest with stockings.

I am OK with this.


If you really gotta pee in line at the supermarket, just let it go.

 

[HoosierGuy1979]

Women are like a box of chocolates, the ones with the cherries are always the best.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Sick again? Is bacteria the cause? Chug a bottle of an anti bacterial liquid of your choice!

 

[HoosierGuy1979]

If you drink enough alcohol when you are sick, it will kill all the germs.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Always use a stud finder before you headbutt the wall.

 

[kurrginatorX]

All cartoons are child friendly, so put in your copy of Fritz the Cat and let your ten-year old have a walloping good time.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Does your S.O. get mad when you leave the toilet seat up? Tell them you saw a spider under the seat and you should leave it up to check before sitting down.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Home security tip: leave your children at home when you go away for the holidays to create elaborate booby traps to protect your belongings from burglars.

 

[Polranny]

For a really peaceful Xmas tell your mother-in-law that she looks like a dumper truck in her new outfit

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you smell of cannabis, Police will give you a full body massage.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you wanna do the dishes just throw them all into your oven and turn on "self clean".