Bad Random Life Tips.

[gentold]

Try mating a cat with a dog and see if you get a catdog!

Catalogue is more the word .

hard to decipher and so full of shit .

 

[kurrginatorX]

Car broken down and no money to fix it? Just call your friends and family, regardless of time day or night. They will never tire of helping you out because you are such a great person.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Frying things known to pop you is fine to do in the nude. An apron is all you need.

 

[Jada59]

Fill your ice cream cone with mashed potatoes. They won't melt like ice cream does!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Fill your ice cream cone with mashed potatoes. They won't melt like ice cream does!

Hilarious

Teabag but no water? Just place it between your cheek and gum to get that caffeine fix you need to get you through your day.

 

[TTawhere]

Licking the outlet before you plug in an appliance improves the conductivity.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Licking the outlet before you plug in an appliance improves the conductivity.

HA!

The next time your grandparents tell you that you couldn't do what they did when they were young, turn the tables on them. Take them out for a night of drunken debauchery that ends in an orgy.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If an employee at a cash register asks if you would like donate to *whatever cause*, say “you first” to put *them* on the spot for once.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Be the one-upper in all your social groups. Your friends like nothing better than to hear that regardless of the good or bad fortune has fallen their way, someone else has always out-done them.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Throw your laundry in the trash so that you never have uncleaned laundry left.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Ladies, want to attract a smart guy that’s good in the sack? Get a sudoku tattoo on your back so they have something to do while they’re waiting for you to cum.

 

[Misshotndeep]

If an employee at a cash register asks if you would like donate to *whatever cause*, say “you first” to put *them* on the spot for once.

I am actually going to do this just to see what happens.

 

[mnbreastluver]

I am actually going to do this just to see what happens.

Report back how it goes.

Deal with your stalker by getting another stalker and tricking them into stalking each other.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Do you find yourself coveting your neighbor's wife? Sign up for the Marines in his name, and once he is gone you will have her all to yourself. Hey, it worked for David in the bible and he's revered to this day.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Work better drunk? You are allowed to drink water at work. Vodka looks just like water. Take advantage of this fact in order to keep up a good buzz at the office.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Can't get your houseplants to grow? They need fertilizer. It's okay to take a dump in your flower pots. Sure, there will be some unpleasant odor, but your ferns will look amazing!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Fruit is sold by the weight so peeling them is store makes them cheaper.

 

[kurrginatorX]

If you believe that Africa is the cradle of civilization and you were born in the United States, not only can you state that you are African-American but Native American as well.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Find yourself in a awkward situation. Just blame Mike, chances are most everyone knows a Mike and he's a douche.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Guys, tired of your friends telling you to get over the break-up and start dating again? Show up at the next kegger with an 88 year old. If they say anything about it, just respond, "Older women, right? The things they know …"

 

[mnbreastluver]

Save money on expensive helicopter flight experiences by simply injuring yourself in hard to reach places.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

Go ahead, pet that junkyard dog.

 

[kurrginatorX]

It's the perfect time of year to piss off everyone you know. Keep the hate going through the new year, that way you won't have to buy Christmas presents for anyone but yourself.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you are trying to get rid of a possum from your property, try introducing an opossum. Since the opossum is the opposite of the possum they will cancel each other.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Go into work and badmouth everyone's performance. Just when you see how angry everyone is--your boss included--innocently ask, "Isn't today Opposite Day?"