Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

If you're worried your penis is too small, tattoo vertical stripes on it so it looks longer.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Unsure of how to talk to women? Just break the ice with this compliment! "Wow, you're not as hysterical and emotional as women are supposed to be. Good for you!" They'll feel flattered that you noticed how normal they are!

 

[Jada59]

Leave your car running all night so you can see how strong the battery is and check the gas mileage.

 

[TheFirmHand80]

If you cut onions underwater, you will not get eye irritation, but you may drown.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Convince your neighbours that evolution is real by not shaving for a week, walking to your car gradually more stooped every day and then wearing a monkey suit on Friday.

 

[kurrginatorX]

If you have a pine cone, a penny, and a two-inch piece of dental floss, you, like MacGyver, can get out of any predicament.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If a woman asks you if a dress makes her look fat, say “no...You’d look fat in any dress!”

 

[jasonmason]

Remember, for those of you in school, don’t worry about studying for your finals. Because tests don’t show you what you know, rather they show you what you don’t know.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you're having trouble getting a date, it's probably on account of your deodorant, which basically functions as girl-repellant. Women are instictively attracted to a man's natural musky body odor.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Anyone can have an avatar like mnbreastluver if they have enough money to pay a woman to model with them.

 

[Jada59]

Start out yor letters with, "Hey Asshole!". That will really get their attention.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Start all your posts with Konichiwa, Bitches! That will instantly draw people's eyed to what you have to say.

 

[Jada59]

Walk barefoot in the snow to see how tough you are.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Try exotic new dog breeds, like crossing a male Great Dane with a female Chihuahua

 

[jasonmason]

If you are habitually late for work, just tell your boss that you will leave early from work to make up for being late.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Since it's October, it's entirely acceptable to ghost everyone you don't give a shit about because ghosts are spooky,

 

[mnbreastluver]

Leave your refrigerator door open to combat global warming

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

Quit every job after 6 months and then take a few months to get another, employers love to hire free spirits with varied experiences.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Get totally wasted right before you donate blood. The person receiving it will be in for a surprise.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Never make references to people when talking about eating vegetables.

 

[TheFirmHand80]

When kissing babies for presidential photo ops, grab them by the pussy.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Never go to the park and tell mothers that you represent Jared Fogle, who will be getting out of prison soon.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Remove your mailbox so that you won't be sent any bills, therefore saving you tons of money!

 

[Jada59]

Keep your cell phone in your ice maker!

 

[kurrginatorX]

If a cop pulls you over, repeatedly make fun of the size of his genitals until he leaves in embarrassment.