Author's Zoo

[Quiet_Cool]

Hard to say; it would be either:

Coolium_Quietus

"Please speak softly... This exhibit: Hung Over"


or:



Writerius Procrastinum

"Quiet and reserved, this species can often be found... Well, not writing."


or:



(This exhibit won't tell us its name)


(If you can read this, you don't need glasses)


or:


Funicus Happinmorus

"Donot taunt Happy Fun Ball"


It's so hard to decide.

Q_C

 

[artisticbiguy]

ABG
Artisius Bimodal Genitalys

Native to North America, this creature presently roams the the southern climates. Though susceptable to flattery, it has a low tolerance threshold and may spit back denials in an attempt to prevent big-headedness. Prone to look at its own reflection and prance when it suspects it is being observe, this neurotic peacock is a contradiction in itelf.

Easily domesticated, but is a very messy pet. Do not over feed. Do not over stimulate. Do not ask it to make definitive decisions, especially about menu items.

Cuddling and petting are highly encournaged!

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Nirvana Dragoness

You forgot about her fascination with blood

Regardless, Thank you, Zade

 

[scheherazade_79]

You forgot about her fascination with blood

Regardless, Thank you, Zade

Maybe, but the rest of it was accurate

 

[Quoll]

sickus sensa humourous
Mostly nocturnal.
Eats, roots, shoots and leaves.
Sometimes carnivorous.
Can be trained but not domesticated.

Responds well to the odd poke.









As requested m'lady

 

[FallingToFly]

dnim degamad a fo egufer tsal ehT : ruomuH.

I actually had no trouble reading that. I can read upside down and backwards too.

And that is a remarkably true statement darling.

 

[fifty5]

Efficus efficus

Male. The only known example of this species. Usually seems rational, but reacts unthinkingly to any advance from females of the genus. Eats almost anything, drinks almost anything that includes alcohol. Always ready to rut.

A strange beast!

 

[Saucyminx]

sickus sensa humourous
Mostly nocturnal.
Eats, roots, shoots and leaves.
Sometimes carnivorous.
Can be trained but not domesticated.

Responds well to the odd poke.









As requested m'lady

Thank you sweetums.

How do you feel about even pokes? Just askin. . .

 

[wornoutkeyboard]

Very Worn Out Keyboard
(semper ubi sub ubi)

This keyboard (formerly known as the Very Snappy Keyboard) is of the QWERTY variety. However this keyboard (often known simply as WOK) is only for experts as only four letters and two numbers still survive on her keys.

Very dangerous and highly carniverous, she is known to eat meat from a variety of sources (particularly male keyboards who exhibit an unusually tall and docile nature with light eyes and dark hair). She will mate frequently and voraciously with anything displaying mutton chops. She is territorial and will pee in the corners of the room when threatened.

Native the the ambiguous south of the US, she is often compelled to call everyone she meets Billy Bob and Joe Earl while cooking fried okra, collard greens and corn fritters. Her natural diet consists of 2 pounds of fried pickles (frickles) per day.

 

[impressive]

Impressiva Impetuousa
a/k/a Imp

A delightful yet baffling creature. Playful on the surface, but complex and at times extraordinarily frustrating to those select few she allows to approach. Is exceedingly flexible and cooperative unless her values are threatened, at which time she becomes an unforgiving bitch.

Is at her absolute best when organizing and advocating. Is intolerant of any personal display of insecurity or neediness, and attempts to emotionally isolate herself until such ugly cycles run their course. Has extreme difficulty admitting her needs for fear of eliciting a response tainted by obligation.

Prefers to subsist on a diet of equal parts peace and passion. Eschews all forms of conflict. Cannot be tamed, but can be coaxed into temporary submission. Requires a partner with exceptional patience and the ability to read her mind, but is well worth the effort.

 

[artisticbiguy]

Impressiva Impetuousa
a/k/a Imp

A delightful yet baffling creature. Playful on the surface, but complex and at times extraordinarily frustrating to those select few she allows to approach. Is exceedingly flexible and cooperative unless her values are threatened, at which time she becomes an unforgiving bitch.

Is at her absolute best when organizing and advocating. Is intolerant of any personal display of insecurity or neediness, and attempts to emotionally isolate herself until such ugly cycles run their course. Has extreme difficulty admitting her needs for fear of eliciting a response tainted by obligation.

Prefers to subsist on a diet of equal parts peace and passion. Eschews all forms of conflict. Cannot be tamed, but can be coaxed into temporary submission. Requires a partner with exceptional patience and the ability to read her mind, but is well worth the effort.

*makes note to self never to insinuate intimacy with an imp... as I have absolutly no telepathic abilities at all*

 

[impressive]

*makes note to self never to insinuate intimacy with an imp... as I have absolutly no telepathic abilities at all*

It's an acquired skill. No one's born with it. Success depends entirely on one's determination to master it (and her).

 

[AchtungNight]

This is what the zoo tour guide would probably say about me:

"AchtungNight- Writerus Strangeus Maximus. A subtype of cross-genre fanfic writer. This species of author may seem weird to quite a few people. He is quite well-read, well-traveled, and widely admired, even if the folk who will admit to the latter may sometimes seem few and far between. He is known by many and influenced by them all. What he produces is always exciting and interesting and often surprising, though it rarely if ever wins awards. Usually it is based on a collection of other people's stories and clearly shows those stories' influence to those in the know. People he admires, both real and fictional, always show up in his stories, though the cast may not always be clear. All his stories are good, though they may not seem good to all at first glance. He writes a lot and reads a lot, and when he talks he is difficult to understand yet profound. In the cage next to him you can see his muse/editor, who is both his polar opposite and his better half. She is... Wait, those bars are broken! Oh my God! The most dangerous creature in this zoo has escaped! Sound the alarm! Get to the exits! Help!!"

Throughout the resulting mass panic, I would be wearing an expression something like this:

 

[fifty5]

Impressiva Impetuousa ... Requires a partner with exceptional patience and the ability to read her mind, but is well worth the effort.

I know what you're thinking - and, of course, you are right.

 

[impressive]

I know what you're thinking - and, of course, you are right.

. .

 

[FallingToFly]

Bumpo...

 

[Bizkit_Writer]

Oh good grief mine would say

Bizkit_Writer crazy woman, who thinks men who wrestle are sexy and loves Hard Rock and have fun all night long. Do not feed unless trained!

 

[scheherazade_79]

Bumping, because I still find the idea amusing

 

[impressive]

Impressiva Impetuousa
a/k/a Imp

A delightful yet baffling creature. Playful on the surface, but complex and at times extraordinarily frustrating to those select few she allows to approach. Is exceedingly flexible and cooperative unless her values are threatened, at which time she becomes an unforgiving bitch.

Is at her absolute best when organizing and advocating. Is intolerant of any personal display of insecurity or neediness, and attempts to emotionally isolate herself until such ugly cycles run their course. Has extreme difficulty admitting her needs for fear of eliciting a response tainted by obligation.

Prefers to subsist on a diet of equal parts peace and passion. Eschews all forms of conflict. Cannot be tamed, but can be coaxed into temporary submission. Requires a partner with exceptional patience and the ability to read her mind, but is well worth the effort.

*grin* I'd forgotten about this. Thanks for bumping, Zade. I think I'll add it to my profile.

 

[scheherazade_79]

*grin* I'd forgotten about this. Thanks for bumping, Zade. I think I'll add it to my profile.

You're welcome

I was thinking of adding to mine...

 

[impressive]

ABG
Artisius Bimodal Genitalys

Native to North America, this creature presently roams the the southern climates. Though susceptable to flattery, it has a low tolerance threshold and may spit back denials in an attempt to prevent big-headedness. Prone to look at its own reflection and prance when it suspects it is being observe, this neurotic peacock is a contradiction in itelf.

Easily domesticated, but is a very messy pet. Do not over feed. Do not over stimulate. Do not ask it to make definitive decisions, especially about menu items.

Cuddling and petting are highly encournaged!

Having now met ABG, I can confirm all of this. Well, maybe not the "very messy" part. He seemed quite tidy to me.

 

[Guest]

where was i when this happened?

 

[scheherazade_79]

where was i when this happened?

I don't know.... Can I write one for you?

 

[Guest]

I don't know.... Can I write one for you?

as long as u promise to make it real

 

[scheherazade_79]

as long as u promise to make it real

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