aussies

[Ladybird]

I cooked fresh flounder.....mmmmm it was fab

I'm about to rummage in the pantry for something now..

 

[Cadoras]

hi miss b and cad


ok better joke this time

A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady, was looking very
nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.

"No, I don’t" she replied

“Well," he spoofed, "there’s a building in China with a big tank of latex
and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let
them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right
size."

She didn’t crack a smile.

"Oh, well. I tried," he thought. But five minutes later, during a delicate
portion of the dental procedure, she burst out laughing.

"What’s so funny?" he asked.

"I was just picturing how condoms are made!" she said.

*Contemplates hitting Davoo with the shovel instead*

Great joke!

 

[nostress]

I'm about to rummage in the pantry for something now..

I must wear my glasses, thought the you had typed panty

 

[davoo]

hi LB
ok last one
NEW WORDS FOR 2006
>
> BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing
> why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
>
> SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot
> of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
>
> ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb
> success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working
> hard.
>
> SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day
> swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
>
> CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.
>
> PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops
> something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls
> to see that's going on (This also applies to applause for a promotion
> because there may be cake.)
>
> SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive
> Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
> stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
>
> STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being
> stressed out and whiny.
>
> PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the
> crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
>
> ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers
> beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the
> "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the
> problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the
> dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
>
> 404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web
> error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could
> not be located.
>
> OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which
> you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake ( e.g. you've hit 'reply
> all') - New Oxford Dictionary definitions .
>
> GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant
> with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If
> challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll
> buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.
>
> AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair
> but still has a 'black box'.
>

 

[oz187]

I must wear my glasses, thought the you had typed panty

I did the same, by mistake of course.

 

[Ladybird]

I must wear my glasses, thought the you had typed panty

Sorry hon... it was pantry.

Hiya Davoo.. MissB.. Cad.. lurkers

Anyone for tuna risotto?

 

[oz187]

hi LB
ok last one
NEW WORDS FOR 2006
>
> BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing
> why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
>
> SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot
> of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
>
> ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb
> success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working
> hard.
>
> SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day
> swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
>
> CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.
>
> PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops
> something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls
> to see that's going on (This also applies to applause for a promotion
> because there may be cake.)
>
> SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive
> Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
> stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
>
> STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being
> stressed out and whiny.
>
> PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the
> crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
>
> ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers
> beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the
> "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the
> problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the
> dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
>
> 404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web
> error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could
> not be located.
>
> OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which
> you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake ( e.g. you've hit 'reply
> all') - New Oxford Dictionary definitions .
>
> GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant
> with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If
> challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll
> buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.
>
> AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair
> but still has a 'black box'.
>

The last two are VERY good.

 

[nostress]

I did the same, by mistake of course.

wishfull thinking

 

[Top Cat]

Hi all... been lurking all over lit tonight... pity I can't read and post at the same time... must get second PC... hmmmm.... how to use 2 PCs at the same time????

 

[oz187]

wishfull thinking

Yep. I've always been told to think positive.

 

[Cadoras]

Hi all... been lurking all over lit tonight... pity I can't read and post at the same time... must get second PC... hmmmm.... how to use 2 PCs at the same time????

Well, you could always open a second window, right?

 

[kinky_scorpio]

I am multi tasking, i read an post at same time

 

[nostress]

Hi all... been lurking all over lit tonight... pity I can't read and post at the same time... must get second PC... hmmmm.... how to use 2 PCs at the same time????

your a male, there is no way you can do two things at once

 

[Ladybird]

I am multi tasking, i read an post at same time

I am woman.

I am reading, posting, emailing, cooking dinner and drinking plonk.. all at the same time.

I am woman, it's easy.

 

[nostress]

Well, you could always open a second window, right?

that would never work, the second window is where I look at all the porn.

hows the day been

 

[oz187]

I am multi tasking, i read an post at same time

Puckerup... that'd be that anal site, yeah?

 

[nostress]

I am multi tasking, i read an post at same time

IM impressed, but then I am always amazed how the little green man in the traffic lights knows when the cars are going to stop and tells you to cross

 

[Cadoras]

that would never work, the second window is where I look at all the porn.

hows the day been

My day was okay, I guess

 

[nostress]

I am woman.

I am reading, posting, emailing, cooking dinner and drinking plonk.. all at the same time.

I am woman, it's easy.

once again I miss read, thought you ended the post with I am woman, I'm easy
but I know thats far from the truth

 

[davoo]

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when
> walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.
>
> BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your
> safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to
> remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
>
> BOBFOC. Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
>
> BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub,
> usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your
> bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15
> minutes for the rest of the night.
>
> BRITNEY SPEARS. Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g.
> "Couple of Britneys please"
>
> GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the
> hare.
>
> JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard
> intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The
> 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food
> restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
>
> MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e.
> extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually
> nought in there worth seeing.
>
> MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering
> yourself in, you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
>
> MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on
> Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks
> away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with
> stunners when you come back in.
>
> MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on
> Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept
> with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
>
> NELSON MANDELA. Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the
> lager)
>
> PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small
> for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks
>
> SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight
> person

 

[oz187]

IM impressed, but then I am always amazed how the little green man in the traffic lights knows when the cars are going to stop and tells you to cross

Ah, the wonders of technology.

 

[Top Cat]

I am multi tasking, i read an post at same time

I'm using MS windows... not a real Multi Tasking system...

your a male, there is no way you can do two things at once

yep... and you can always rely on a female to say something like this.....

I am woman.

I am reading, posting, emailing, cooking dinner and drinking plonk.. all at the same time.

I am woman, it's easy.

problem is... they are right

 

[bertrande]

I am multi tasking, i read an post at same time

an oxymoron

 

[bertrande]

>
> GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the
> hare.
>

mmmmmm I have a few of these

 

[kinky_scorpio]

Puckerup... that'd be that anal site, yeah?

Yep tis all about anal, lol