aussies

[australwind]

I'll try to be around, but if I do end up needing to leave, I'll leave you a message

Have fun with your shopping and cooking and the like

And I shall talk to you soon

I'm back............

 

[Cadoras]

I'm back............

I'm still here, for a little while longer anyway

Welcome back

Tasty bacon?

 

[australwind]

I'm still here, for a little while longer anyway

Welcome back

Tasty bacon?

Nope............settled for just plain scrambled eggs with chives instead.......started to rain as well, so there was a line full of washing to deal with!

 

[Cadoras]

Okay I really do need to get going right around now.... So you have a wonderful day Austral and I'll talk to you later, if you're around

 

[Cadoras]

Nope............settled for just plain scrambled eggs with chives instead.......started to rain as well, so there was a line full of washing to deal with!

It's that weather being unpredictable again..... Very tricky....

Well, that does sound tasty also

 

[australwind]

Okay I really do need to get going right around now.... So you have a wonderful day Austral and I'll talk to you later, if you're around

Have a good day, Cad...catch you later.

 

[Cadoras]

Have a good day, Cad...catch you later.

Try not to miss me too much

I can't guarantee I'll be around tonight.... But I will try

 

[davoo]

my santa name is Furry Floppy-Gnome
http://www.bbc.co.uk/derby/fun_stuff/christmas/santas_little_helper_names.shtml
and i am going to Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge
any and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test2.mv?stat=1&xyz=13

 

[m.j.h]

Well i'm going to the

Seventh Level of Hell

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

 

[m.j.h]

As for my Santa name, well i'm not complaining.

Lucky Kissy-Cracker

 

[davoo]

haha kissy cracker

bad day in hospital
In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am., regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural.

No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. on Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 a.m., all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

 

[australwind]

As for my Santa name, well i'm not complaining.

Lucky Kissy-Cracker

you know what mine is?

Cutie Holly-Cheeks.......

 

[australwind]

you know what mine is?

Cutie Holly-Cheeks.......

Hello, Davoo, m.j.h........how are you both today?

 

[davoo]

hello austral , mjh
day is fine if not alittle unaventful

What?? STILL having a Bad Day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits


that is justice ...haha

 

[davoo]

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

 

[australwind]

ROFLMAO....


What are you doing? Looking up the Darwin Awards or something?

 

[davoo]

na its a email i got about having bad days

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.

A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

 

[australwind]

Well its a doozy.....just keep 'em coming........ that last one had me laughing out loud so much that the boss downstairs complained....

 

[davoo]

not as funny but ok

two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.

The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

 

[australwind]

hehehehehe.... Porky's Revenge II

 

[davoo]

A bus load of catholic schoolgirls is traveling along.

A train hits the busload of Catholic schoolgirls and they all perish.

They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates, and St.

Peter asks the first girl:

>>

"Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?"

She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of

one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "Ok, dip the tip of

your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."

>>

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you

ever had any contact with a male organ?" The girl is a little

reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one .." St

Peter says, "OK, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass

through the gate."

>>

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls.

One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she

reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Lisa! What seems to

be the rush?"

>>

The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water,

I want to do it before Jessica sticks her arse in it."

 

[m.j.h]

Hey Austral...
Hey Davoo.
And a hello to any lurkers out there.

Hope we all had a good day.

 

[Ladybird]

Hey Austral...
Hey Davoo.
And a hello to any lurkers out there.

Hope we all had a good day.

A grand day thank you.

Have just come home from a glorious day spent out in the sun at a bbq at Point
Walter. Now it's time to shower and change as girlfriend is on her way over for a Chrissy drink.

Take care eveyone... and keep the jokes rolling!

 

[davoo]

here is a test if ur game(gay) haha
http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/G/gayometer/gayometer.html
geee and i thought i was completely straight i got 45%..i been single to long

 

[davoo]

A grand day thank you.

Have just come home from a glorious day spent out in the sun at a bbq at Point
Walter. Now it's time to shower and change as girlfriend is on her way over for a Chrissy drink.

Take care eveyone... and keep the jokes rolling!

hello LB
A man sees a sign in front of a house : "Talking Dog for Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden.

The man goes into the backgarden and sees a brown labrador just sitting
there.

"Do you talk?" he asks.

"Yes, I do." the dog replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty
young and I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about my gift,
and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would
be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years
running." "The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't
getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a
job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering
near suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded loads of
medals. Had a wife, a few puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The man is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants
for the dog.

The owner says, "Ten quid."

The man says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him
so cheap?"

"Cause he's a bloody liar. He's never done any of that stuff"