Aspiring author, need help with sentence starters

[brandiwine89]

Hey everyone! I'm new to the forums, so bare with me
I've got most of my book done, but going back and reading it, I see that my sentences are so repetive.
I start with he/she or their names, constantly. I throw in a few participal phrases here and there, but I just am seeking some advice or a couple suggestions on not being so....blah. She did this....he did that. Thanks in advance!

 

[PennLady]

Try things like "When he saw what was going on ..." or "As she expected..." Things like that to break it up and bring in more details. Try reading some other stories and see what those authors do to get an idea.

 

[sr71plt]

Your book? You are asking about something you are submitting to this website, right?

 

[PacoFear]

Your book? You are asking about something you are submitting to this website, right?

Okay, is it just me or has the Editor's Forum now become ground zero for the "So, um, I'd like to write a novel, can you help me" crowd? And, God help us, it seems these would-be novels are invariably about vampires or werewolves or, shiver, both.

What gives? Is it the rampant unemployment here in the U.S.? The success of utter hacks like Stephenie Meyer?

 

[HeatherVivant]

I won't bare with you (as fun as it sounds) but I will bear with you. Read. Read some more. Assimilate what you read. Read carefully. Study. The sentence starter thing will take care of itself. Do writing exercises. Write the same sentence ten different ways. Read John Gardner's advice to writers. Practice. Repeat for 5-10 years. You will get better.

Meta: to everyone who doesn't think there is an e-publishing bubble, consider all the popular press about Stephanie Meyer, Amanda Hocking, et al., and then compare that to the rise of questions from newbie writers in forums such as this. It's a bubble for sure, but that doesn't mean the next great undiscovered talent isn't out there somewhere.

Many of us were nurtured and encouraged at some point in our writing lives...

 

[sr71plt]

Okay, is it just me or has the Editor's Forum now become ground zero for the "So, um, I'd like to write a novel, can you help me" crowd? And, God help us, it seems these would-be novels are invariably about vampires or werewolves or, shiver, both.

What gives? Is it the rampant unemployment here in the U.S.? The success of utter hacks like Stephenie Meyer?

The "create your own book on Amazon" revolution happened, I think. It goes with the "how to get my book written/edited for free by chumps" ploy.

 

[PacoFear]

*self-forehead slap* Ahhh yes, e-pubbing would be the last element of this hellish little storm. You know what? I used to consider barriers to entry bad things. Now, not so much.

 

[EdwardMidweston]

Hellish storms producing slush

*self-forehead slap* Ahhh yes, e-pubbing would be the last element of this hellish little storm. You know what? I used to consider barriers to entry bad things. Now, not so much.

In all fairness, schlockmeisters like Mickey Spillane and Jacqueline Susann existed before e-pubbing, but for the most part, amen.

BTW, I sent you some thoughts and answers to your questions. Check your e-mail if you haven't found them.