Ask / Tell Uncle Jett ...

[Jett_73]

2013 is now here and Jett has resolved to be good.

Well, officially anyway.

As part of my new 'goodness', I thought I'd offer a community-minded 'Agony Aunt' - or Agony Uncle in this case - style thread where you can get a load off your mind. I'm happy to help with a problem, offer (unprofessional) advice, be a listening ear or just a miscellaneous target for your much-needed vent.

Post away and I'll respond. Feel free to PM if you prefer confidentiality.
However, and notwithstanding my own inanity, I reserve the right to ignore down-right silly PMs ...

 

[L8tnIt]

I wish you the best of luck... This is a Noble and Arduous task you have taken upon yourself
I offer my assistance as it is needed

 

[Jett_73]

I wish you the best of luck... This is a Noble and Arduous task you have taken upon yourself
I offer my assistance as it is needed

Thanks. Much obliged L8tnIt.

 

[L8tnIt]

It will give me something better to do during these long, boring weekend nights
You are welcome

 

[LadyVer]

Dear Uncle Jett,

I have received pm's from various men that I have a hard time deciphering because of spelling errors and context, partly text speak. How do I tell someone I can't understand what they're trying to say and that in communicating via a pm I need plain English, without me coming
across as a jerk?

Thank you!

 

[Jett_73]

Dear Uncle Jett,

I have received pm's from various men that I have a hard time deciphering because of spelling errors and context, partly text speak. How do I tell someone I can't understand what they're trying to say and that in communicating via a pm I need plain English, without me coming
across as a jerk?

Thank you!

Dear LadyVer,

Honesty is the best policy. Plain, simple language is the best and you can be frank without being rude. Tell them what you think and feel. Don't hedge by being 'polite'.
It will soon be come obvious whether the person:

a) genuinely has written communication challenges, or
b) is a jerk who really couldn't be bothered putting in any effort.

PS: an unfortunate carriage return in your post ...

Regards,

Uncle Jett

 

[LadyVer]

Dear LadyVer,

Honesty is the best policy. Plain, simple language is the best and you can be frank without being rude. Tell them what you think and feel. Don't hedge by being 'polite'.
It will soon be come obvious whether the person:

a) genuinely has written communication challenges, or
b) is a jerk who really couldn't be bothered putting in any effort.

PS: an unfortunate carriage return in your post ...

Regards,

Uncle Jett

Thanks for your advice. Yeah, I'm on my droid and sometimes it's hard to edit.

 

[Scrubber]

Dear Uncle Jett

If one is having a royally good time on the dance floor but one's bra strap keeps falling down is the correct etiquette to adjust the underpinnings on the dance floor or should one repair to the cloakroom for the purpose?

Yours strap-challengedly

Scrubber

 

[Adre]

Dear Uncle Jett,

First let me express how happy I am to finally have a living uncle. I assume this means I will be inheriting some money and maybe oceanfront property in Oz if I outlive you, which is highly unlikely.

My New Years resolution is to share my sex organ with more people on Lit. I just wanted to go public with that this year. Thanks Uncle Jett.

Your nephew in America,

Adre

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Dearest Uncle Jett,

When receiving unsolicited PMS, I have always thought the polite thing to do was to send a pleasant response of decline. I always offer my hand of friendship with the suggestion of playful banter on the open threads.

I'm beginning to feel, however, that a complete blow-off would be more appropriate? I don't like ignoring people, because, well..it's rude for one, and I personally don't like being ignored. "The Golden rule" you know?

What would you suggest?

Sincerely
RA


P.s. Thx for the painting..i posted a link to the origin of that one for anyone interested on my thread..

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear Uncle Jett,

I have often thought of starting a thread similar to this, but was not brave enough. I applaud you for your bravery and I am sure that I will someday come here and seek your advice. In the meantime, good luck and may you use your power wisely.



Red

 

[Jett_73]

Dear Uncle Jett

If one is having a royally good time on the dance floor but one's bra strap keeps falling down is the correct etiquette to adjust the underpinnings on the dance floor or should one repair to the cloakroom for the purpose?

Yours strap-challengedly

Scrubber

Dear Scrubber,

I'm sure the answer is situation specific. Factors would include:

a) The nature of the event - formal vs club
b) Magnitude of the 'wardrobe malfunction'
c) Lighting levels and potential audience (should you opt for the on-floor fix)
d) Whether the said slippage was accidental or 'accidental'.
e) Distance to the cloakroom (and the consequences of not making it)
f) Whether dancing solo or, if partnered, the nature of the relationship.

Considering all of this, I'd say there's some situations where fixing it on the spot wouldn't be a problem. Others might call for a more discrete solution.

Uncle Jett

 

[MsTexas]

Uncle Jett ...

What does it mean when your titty itches?

Signed,

Curious in Texas

 

[Jett_73]

Dear Uncle Jett,

First let me express how happy I am to finally have a living uncle. I assume this means I will be inheriting some money and maybe oceanfront property in Oz if I outlive you, which is highly unlikely.

My New Years resolution is to share my sex organ with more people on Lit. I just wanted to go public with that this year. Thanks Uncle Jett.

Your nephew in America,

Adre

Dear 'Nephew',

Much as I would like to gratify you in respect of my depositions, I fear you would find the Will disappointing. I am not that well endowed. Wait, that didn't come out quite right...

I applaud your enthusiam, but please exercise restraint with your exhibitionism.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste."

Uncle Jett

 

[Jett_73]

Dearest Uncle Jett,

When receiving unsolicited PMS, I have always thought the polite thing to do was to send a pleasant response of decline. I always offer my hand of friendship with the suggestion of playful banter on the open threads.

I'm beginning to feel, however, that a complete blow-off would be more appropriate? I don't like ignoring people, because, well..it's rude for one, and I personally don't like being ignored. "The Golden rule" you know?

What would you suggest?

Sincerely
RA


P.s. Thx for the painting..i posted a link to the origin of that one for anyone interested on my thread..

Dear RA,

If you can handle the volume I think a pleasant first response is great.
You may need to be more direct for subsequent replies. Ignore repeat offenders.
Also see my answer to LadyVer below.

Uncle Jett

 

[Jett_73]

Dear Uncle Jett,

I have often thought of starting a thread similar to this, but was not brave enough. I applaud you for your bravery and I am sure that I will someday come here and seek your advice. In the meantime, good luck and may you use your power wisely.



Red

Thanks Red. I will endeavour to do so.

 

[Jett_73]

Uncle Jett ...

What does it mean when your titty itches?

Signed,

Curious in Texas

Dear Curious,

*sighs*

I really think you know the answer to this one MsT.

However, for the benefit of less-informed readers these are your options:

a) rub / scratch it
b) get someone else to rub / scratch it

Seriously however, unexplained and/or recurring itching can indicate a medical condition. You should seek professional medical advice.

Current statistics indicate 1 in 8 women in America will experience breast cancer in their lifetime. Itching can be a symptom. However, this certainly doesn't mean that itching = breast cancer.
The best prevention for breast cancer is early detection through regular check-ups and screening by a health professional.
For more information, go to: http://www.breastcancer.org/

Regards,

Uncle Jett

 

[Indienne]

Dear Uncle Jett

Who stole the rubber ducky?

Kind regards
Indienne

 

[Jett_73]

Dear Uncle Jett

Who stole the rubber ducky?

Kind regards
Indienne

Dear Indy,

My reply is based on the brief mention of rubber ducky in the 'Questions: RowaQ' thread.

1. Sticky 'found' the rubber ducky and could easily have arranged to reappropriate it.
2. DaveSmith perhaps let slip more than he should when he asked not, "Where did you find it?" but "Was it near the hot tub?"
3. You are also implicated.

However, my money's on the fact that Ernie remembered where he left it and simply came back to collect it. We all know how much Ernie loves his rubber ducky!

*cue the Rubber Ducky song*

 

[lexieredefined]

Dear Uncle Jett,

There is the boy at work and he keeps pulling on my ponytail. Why does he do that?

Struggling to keep every hair in place,
Lexie

 

[Adre]

Dear Uncle Jett,

Now that you're my Uncle, I suddenly feel a little..... incestuous. How do I deal with these new and conflicting emotions?

Yours,
Conflicted Niece.

PS. Remember that time Adre stole your Tim Tams? No? Well he did. Leave me the ocean front property.

I told you I'd put you over my knee if you ever breathed a word of that. (Now if I just knew what the hell a Tim Tam was)

 

[blulilacgrl]

Dear Uncle Jett,

What do you do when your New Year's resolution was to abstain from carbs and your husband is bringing home pizza for the kids? I know I shouldn't. But I really really really want some and find my resolve weakening.

White knuckling it Litster

 

[L8tnIt]

In assist to Stickygirl, make your own pizza.
Use all the trimmings (cheese, pepperoni, sauce), but but it on flatbread
It becomes a controlled portion that has less carbs, and still satisfies the craving

Then take your husband tothe bedroom to work off those extra calories, for good measure

 

[blulilacgrl]

UJ isn't here right now but I can smell that pizza from here Drink water - it works for me

Guzzling water as I type! Thanks!

In assist to Stickygirl, make your own pizza.
Use all the trimmings (cheese, pepperoni, sauce), but but it on flatbread
It becomes a controlled portion that has less carbs, and still satisfies the craving

Then take your husband tothe bedroom to work off those extra calories, for good measure

That is a great idea! I will keep it in mind when I go to the grocery store and make sure I pick up all the ingredients. Thank you!

 

[BradBigBrain]

Uncle Jett,

I don't know what to do. I am so enamored with her. But I don't know if she is with me.

~ Unrequited lover