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Ask/tell a married, bisexual-ish, bitterly trans-attracted man anything.

hashtag4;82192544Bottomline: homophobic attitudes abund on both sides of the GB political spectrum[/QUOTE said:
Incorrect!

Flaming queens are perfectly acceptable. It's the drama queens that are irksome! And they come in all orientations.
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Hard_Rom said:
Incorrect!

Flaming queens are perfectly acceptable. It's the drama queens that are irksome! And they come in all orientations.
Click to expand...

You might have a bigger penis than the rest of your ilk, but you're still a moron
 
Hard_Rom said:
Says the biggest drama queen on the GB!
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What does being a drama queen (which I certainly am; why the heck would one post as much as I do in the GB, if they didn't enjoy making fun of you doofuses?)
have to do with being a moron (which You are)?
 
Btw I just checked your profile.
Nice abs. When do we get to see the rest of the selfie?
 
hashtag4 said:
^^^^^ RedneckDownSouth alts.




Btw I'm a woman not a transgender, to those who are reading these. I'm actually a nobody in the long line of female GB posters who were harassed with such "accusations".

It's just the way the GB culture is.
If you're a misogynist / narcissist, you focus on those female posters who didn't suck up to your small penis, and harass them with such "accusations".
Then in come the repressed GB homophobes who are gullible enough to believe such accusations, and they stalk you with all sorts.

Bottomline: homophobic attitudes abund on both sides of the GB political spectrum
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To any n00b reading this. Hashtag started his lit career as a male, then a few months later he proclaimed he was a female. He went as far as photo-shopping his profile pictures to look more feminine. If you look back at his posting and thread starting history, you will see that he has purposely deleted all of his posts where he said that he was a man and every other post that contradicts his current story.
Don't be fooled by his victim's mentality posting style.
 
Pakalea345 said:
To any n00b reading this. Hashtag started his lit career as a male, then a few months later he proclaimed he was a female. He went as far as photo-shopping his profile pictures to look more feminine. If you look back at his posting and thread starting history, you will see that he has purposely deleted all of his posts where he said that he was a man and every other post that contradicts his current story.
Don't be fooled by his victim's mentality posting style.
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Who cares? Smart people assume everything they read here is bullshit.
 
As I said.

Racism, xenophobia and homophobia are rife among those who call themselves GB 'lefties'. 'Lefties' who paradoxically keep accusing everyone else of such ills, while batting their eyelashes and congratulating themselves over their (patronising) "kindness" towards minority groups.

These ludicrous examples (the manner in which the OP's thread was handled and the stupid jokes about my "case") being just a sample of such attitudes.
 
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Pakalea345 said:
To any n00b reading this. Hashtag started his lit career as a male, then a few months later he proclaimed he was a female. He went as far as photo-shopping his profile pictures to look more feminine. If you look back at his posting and thread starting history, you will see that he has purposely deleted all of his posts where he said that he was a man and every other post that contradicts his current story.
Don't be fooled by his victim's mentality posting style.
Click to expand...

Just curious, I don't have an issue with you getting at the troll drama queen (?) Hashy but whose alt are you?
 
Hard_Rom said:
Just curious, I don't have an issue with you getting at the troll drama queen (?) Hashy but whose alt are you?
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Are you daft?
It's your bestie RobDownSouth.. Another enlightened GB "liberal", just like you.

Just like most of the other attack alts who keep calling posters prairee nigger, rent a gook, kyke, stinky paki from a third world shithole country and all the other "insults" which are Rob's MO.
 
yossi said:
No one quoted.
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I still had it cached in my browser:

Ask/tell a married, bisexual-ish, bitterly trans-attracted man anything.



(Sit back, because this is going to be a long post, and it gets pretty dark)


From the fiasco I started in the "Ask a MtF TG a question" thread, I'm starting this thread to express my anger, regret, pain, and hopefully find some healing. I'd like to say thank you to yukonnights for PMing me to change my perspective, even if the change is slight.


(You can read what I wrote here for full context if you want -- post 1715):


http://forum.literotica.com/showthre...960170&page=69



For my first order of business, I'd like to apologize to anyone I've hurt with my words. This is going to be a trip into my mind and experiences, it will not be pretty, I will lose some of you, and some of you will think I'm pure evil. This is an exploration and explanation for why I have this palpable anger and numbing contempt that I would like to let go of.


That being said, here's a detailed look at who I am:


I'm straight, or at least I carry myself and identify that way publicly. Privately, I am attracted to women and MtF transexuals. I am attracted to dominate "top" TSes, who I'm told are a construct of the porn industry, though I partially disagree on that assertion (but more on that later).


I am happily married to a woman who is literally everything I could ask for in a partner. She is kind, understanding, and unwaveringly loyal. She is bisexual, but leans toward straight. We have shared our sexual deviances and past experiences with each other, and we are both okay with it.


I am 29 years old, on the upper end of the millennial generation. I served in the military, have a bachelor's degree, and have a career in corporate America. I identify religiously as a Christian and politically as a libertarian. I own my own home, enjoy making art, prefer building things as opposed to buying them, try to 'buy American', vote republican, drive a truck, and own guns.


I am, to all outward appearances, a caricature of your average, middle American white dude.



Here's the issue I come to the lit forums for today:


I had a "almost-relationship" with a transexual years back, and as a result of its failure, and the failure to find another like her, I have developed a callous, dehumanizing, numbing contempt for the TS community.


This TS I met years ago was by every measure, my ideal transexual. She was tall, at least 5'11", maybe 6'. She had an incredible body, almost like a sculpted greek statue. Her hips were volumous, her ass had a nice cute bubble shape, her arms were slender, her boobs, while fake, seemed real enough, they were big, probably D cups, and had a fleshy squishiness that would make you think they were real. Her cock (good lord her cock!), was easily over 8, probably 9 inches long. Placing her cock in my hand, my finger tips extended and meeting her balls, her shaft could cover the length of my fingers and palm, with her head touching somewhere on my wrist. I've experimented with men who didn't have a cock like that.


She wasn't "manufactured by the porn industry". She was real.


We met through AdultFriendFinder, and had a regular FWB thing going for a while. Things were going great, she did everthing I fantasized a TS would do; she let me suck her cock, she would feed inch after merciless inch into me, forcing me to deepthroat it, and she would fuck my ass with every variety of intensity, from gentle, sweet love making, to savagely pounding my guts in. The fullness of it was incredible.


(A detailed account of an encouter with her can be found here):


http://forum.literotica.com/showpost...0&postcount=20



What's not to love, right?


Well, after things were going good for a few months, she just plain lost interest. Our hook ups slowed, and the handful of dates we went on stopped completely. I pressed the issue and told her I was having feelings for her, and that I would want to consider building a relationship, but she said that would never work and finally admitted that this was a fling for her, that she didn't ever want to be in a relationship, and then went totally silent--no emails, calls, or texts.


"Fine then, I'll just go back to regular women."


I liked them too, BFD if the tranny didn't work out.


So I started going out with a girl I met in college, we eloped, stayed married for a little less than a year, and then broke it off. She knew about my past and our sex life was great, there were just other issues present that were irreconcilable (she revealed she was an athiest, and was basically "faking" her Christian faith to be with me, but that's a separate can of worms I don't want to get into in this thread).



"That's fine" I thought. "I've been dumped before, divorce this early in life isn't all that different, I'll be fine. This might actually be a good opportunity to go find another TS."


You'd think that seems like a reasonable outlook, right?

Well, you'd be wrong.


First I tried the tranny I was with before, after 3 or 4 texts and an email, she finally responded. It was a welcome feeling of relief. We met up at her place, and it felt like we picked up right where we left off. The third or forth time seeing her, I started talking about the possibility of a relationship again. She avoided addressing it directly, and seemed mainly interested in having sex with me. I left that night and after another couple days tried to get in touch again. No answer. I tried her again after another day. Again, no answer.


So she blew me off a second time. That feeling was crushing, but I resolved to keep trying to find the TS of my dreams.


I tried going back to dating sites, went to a few local LGBT-friendly bars and clubs, and set out to find a new TS girl to hopefully get what I was looking for. I was met with complete failure.


On the dating sites and Craigslist ads, the overwhelming majority of contacts I made were with TS prostitutes. I want, at the very least, an ongoing string of sexual encounters, if not, a relationship. It said that in my ads and it said that in my profile, yet these people are inundating my inbox with "hey sexy, you feeling generous?" "Spoil me" and "its my birthday" messages. These are the probably ones who fueled my start down the path of regarding *them as reprehensible scum. If you want to sell yourself for drugs or money, fine. Knock yourself out. Just don't come looking for patronage from someone who CLEARLY doesn't want to pay for what you're peddling.


After all (and here's where most of you will likely start hating me), you're a *transexual*. *You should be happy I'm even interested in you and not disregarding you as some pervese aberration. In other words, I'm entitled. I've never paid for pussy, I'm sure as hell not paying for dick.


Whatever though. Shake it off. Keep going.


Okay, so online isn't going to work. I can't communicate without wading through a swampy mess of sex workers. No big deal, I'll hit the local bars and clubs more often. So after going through this effort, and meeting with countless TS girls and either getting turned down outright or getting their attention only to find out they are not tops/dominant and would never consider doing it.


Finally, I meet one who is "sorta" passible. She would probably get mistaken for a butch lesbian or crossdresser that isn't putting in a lot of effort into it. She didn't have implants, but did her make up okay, so I could get past it.

I took her on a couple dates, we talked, and she led me believe that she was what I was looking for -- a top. After about 3 weeks, she invited me over for dinner and a movie. She had a lesbian room mate who was all like "it's so cool of you to go out with her". I can't recall how I responded, I think it was something like a shrug or an awkward "yeah, it's no problem".


After dinner we started making out about 30 minutes into our movie. We made our way back to her room, she stripped my shirt off, and I pulled off her sun dress. She pulled me to the bed, unbuttoned my jeans and started sucking my dick. The BJ was good, but I didn't want to finish that way. So I gently pulled her head off me, rolled her onto her back, and began kissing down her neck and chest. I made my way down and pulled her panties off to reveal her semi erect cock. It was smaller than she described, maybe 4 inches (she claimed 6 or 7), but I thought "it's okay, I can make it work".


As I sucked her head into my mouth, wanting to return the favor for her BJ. Just as I began, I felt her shudder and squirm. She squeeked "no", and I pulled off of her, looking puzzled and asking "what's wrong?"


She looked right at me and said "not there, I can't, I don't like it like that".


I had been led to believe that she was dominant, a top, and wanted to rock my world like the previous TS I described (I told her about the last girl).


I'm sure the disappointment on my face was evident to her, because she started to come at me again, kissing me in a way that felt forced and stroking my cock.


Eventually, we just let it fade, relaxed, and went back to our movie. Afterward, she wanted me to sleep with her (as in literally go to sleep with her). I went with it, and joined her in bed. I could not fall asleep. I was seething with frustration and anger at how she led me on. After tossing and turning for a couple hours, I just got up in the middle of the night and got dressed. She woke up and sleepily asked "what's wrong?". *As much as I wanted to say "fuck off", I just made some excuse about being up for work early and said "I'll see you around" as I shuffled out the door.


On the way down the elevator, I felt nauseous. Like I was literally going to vomit. I couldn't believe I had slept with that fugly tranny just because she had the promise of offering me what I wanted, what I was craving. I felt horrible, digusted, like I was wronged, like everything I wanted was a lie and I would never find it.


I went home, jerked off, and went to sleep. Through the next week I tried again in vain to find the TS girl that I was sure at this point didn't exist.


Eventually I gave up, and started dating women again.


Having children was important to me, as was having a traditional family with an all-American wife, so maybe it worked out for the best. In that aspect, it did. I met the women that would become my wife a few months after that, and we are now happily married.


She is/was bisexual, and we've shared the details of our past sex lives. To help me with what I lost out on, she agreed to try pegging with me. We do it occasionally, and it is incredible with her. She's told me since we've started, she gets off to having the power and watching me take it like her bitch.


Our marriage is healthy, and I couldn't imagine being happy without her.


But -- there is one thing missing. Pegging isn't the same as having a real transexual use her cock on you. Anally, it's different, but not very much, but orally.... that's something I miss dearly.


Kissing her perfect tits before she jams that thick prick into my mouth. Feeling her grow to hardness in between my lips. Watching her squirm and writhe with pleasure as I spiral my tongue around her head.


That's a vital part missing from my sex life.


(If you aren't digusted at me by now, don't worry, you will be soon)


The tantalizing memory of it, the realization that the extremely limited encounter I had was an anomaly, that 99.99% of the trannies out their either chop their dicks off, don't use them, or will only use them if they're paid to, fills me with rage.


This is something yukonnights brought to my attention and caused me to seriously reflect on what's in my soul.


I hate them.


I hate them with burning contempt that is scarcely rivaled.


I have admiration, lust, and longing for the ones that actually are tops, who will use their cocks, fuck, or be fucked, with it all being the same.


However, the ones who get gender reassignment surgery, the ones who are "bottom only", the prostitutes, the non-passible ones who do not even make an attempt to look like something other than a "man in a dress", and worst of all, the Social Justice Warriors.


I hate them.


I hate listening to them, I hate acknowledging them, I hate their advocates and allies, I hate the social changes they are trying to bring in society.

I feel a satisfaction in their misfortune and mistreatment. I am apathetic to their cries for help.


(Stick with me, we're almost done and it may get slighly better)


Probably most prominently, I hate that I hate them. I hate that I have allowed an entire community of human beings to wield such influence over me. I hate that my contempt for them is hardening my heart. I hate the fact that I derive satisfaction in cruelty towards them.


I want to change that, I'd like to change that, but I don't know if I can.


yukonnights reminded me of my Christian faith, that I've turned my back on my values by chosing anger over forgiveness, that forgiveness has immeasurable power. I believe all those things, but that hate has been with me so long. Like a cancer it has metastasized on my heart. It is a real, palpable hate. I carry it, and it carries me.


It's not the so-called hate that most "Christians" have i.e. calling homosexual acts a sin. It is a hatred of their humanity. It's a hatred that they are breathing the same air as me. It's hatred at the sight or mention of them.


Mind you, it's not a hatred that would make me lash out violently, rather, it's a quiet one. The best things I could compare it to would be the rank-and-file German church-goers who sang hymns louder to drown out the sound of screms from the passing cattle carts full of Jews the SS were sending to concentration camps, or the silent apathy and disgust that many regular southerners felt towards the blacks during the reign of Jim Crow laws.


I'm not a foot soldier bringing violence and hatred to their community. I'm an onlooker muttering under my breath "serves you right".


I want to change, but that feeling of absolute rage is something I can only describe as something physical. Like there is literally a hot coal at the base of my lungs, burning through me when I think about what I've been denied.


I honeslty don't know what to do with it. Occasionally I have tried to get rid of it, let it go, even pray about it. Sometimes it works, though only temporarily. Then when I'm feeling turned on and am hungry for a tranny, it come screaming back



I really don't know what to do with it, and I'm hoping for some constructive feedback, though I know a lot of it will likely be negative.



For another glimpse into my psyche, here's a literotica piece I wrote to hopefully get some of it out. Read it if you want (or don't):

https://www.literotica.com/s/a-masseuse-named-eve
Last edited by Legatus : Today at 01:24 PM.
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I knew I wasn't crazy to think the zeitgeist went from GLBT to LGBT... Etc. Who can explain why the G and L switched places?
 
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