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[stickygirl]

Just some observations here...and stickygirl, please axe this if you feel it doesn't belong here!
I was wandering around in the lgbtq forums and checked in to this one, https://forum.literotica.com/threads/trans-girls.1590647/
pages and pages of phenomenally cute and supposedly transgender girls with in some cases pretty dang huge man tackle. Of course theres plenty of....joy juice flowing to enhance the moment.
Really tho, I'm struck by how far from my reality as a transgender woman that all presents. After almost two years of estrogen hormones my man tackle is feeling (and looking) almost not there! Not to mention I have zero cum anymore.
I bring all this up cause I got a pretty good laugh, but was also like hey, does it really work that way for some that are transitioning?

Kind of an ego surf tho....evidently us trans women are kinda popular

Oh, you mean the big pink elephant in the corner? No one ever talks about that!

I'm surprised I still have a tongue given the years I've been biting it at Lit for fear of offending trannifans. I don't spend much time in LGBTQ because there's little of interest here for me. As the saying goes, there's sex and there's gender and though initially I was lured here by the erotic stories, that's not the reason I stay, nor is it looking at endless photoshopped photos of professional models ( I'll come back to that ).

I stay because I find the people who are open to discussing sexual matters are happy to talk about other life issues too. Lit is like a goldfish bowl of humanity where every "ism" is in plain view and not hidden by everyday courtesy. It's prepared me for the worst in people, it's given me a healthy scepticism and taught me to be slower to trust. To me it's like a finishing school where you're taught how to survive the very worst of humanity and, occasionally, the best. Naivety is a trait of autism and I've benefitted from being able to people watch for so long.

As for the photos and images. *sigh... well, who am I to judge or criticise other people's fantasies? If imagining 'trannies' have horse-cocks and spurt fountains of jizz gets you off, then that's fine. Some people here get aroused by rubber, or the smell of stale piss or crawling around naked on their hands and knees with a carrot in their butt... it's not my thing. Surely Lit is going to have a higher percentage of kink than the general population.... or does it? Is it that Litsters are simply more up-front about their kinks and everyone else keeps quiet ?

I guess if you choose ( or are coerced into ) the porn industry then you inhabit a world that reinforces sexual stereotypes and preys on insecurities "You're pretty but you'd be so much prettier with 36D tits". It probably provides the loan for the tits and the modelling/sex work to pay for them. In that sex-bubble world, how can you make rational decisions about your life and body? Why else would so many tranny porn stars keep their nuts, against every medical advice, except that the studios recognise the customers like to see them?

99% of trans women are not porn stars, nor would we ever aspire to be one. Most of the time we're not actually very horny and if we have a penis, it's occasionally useful for peeing in a hedge but annoyingly fickle in bed.
No, we're trying to get by and make a living just like everyone else, but in a world where decent jobs are hard to come by, then we've got to stand in line behind the privileged: the cis, the straight, the white, the male.

The shemale bigcock trope has become accepted by many as truth, though just as many think we're the disturbed children of woke parents. The media plucks facts from the air ( << warning, that's a link to the Daily Mail ) to weave lies and distortion: claims that puberty blockers sterilise children are so common place that politicians and decision makers accept it as fact. Never let the truth get in the way of a good prejudice?

I chatted to my elderly neighbours yesterday about the Olympics. The wife mentioned her distaste of Tom Daly, the well-known UK diving athlete who is gay, married and has adopted children. "That's not right - how can two men bring up children?" I didn't bother to argue. Pick your fights. Don't make your life a misery by looking for arguments. Tongue still bitten.

 

[CambridgeBi]

they'll back-peddle and say it's "safe" again. It never was declared "unsafe" by Cass or anyone else

They weren't declared "safe" either, the NHS position is they don't have enough evidence to be sure they're safe which is why they're not part of the NHS treatment for gender dysphoria.

 

[Paradox]

Just some observations here...and stickygirl, please axe this if you feel it doesn't belong here!
I was wandering around in the lgbtq forums and checked in to this one, https://forum.literotica.com/threads/trans-girls.1590647/
pages and pages of phenomenally cute and supposedly transgender girls with in some cases pretty dang huge man tackle. Of course theres plenty of....joy juice flowing to enhance the moment.

Oh, you mean the big pink elephant in the corner? No one ever talks about that!

Pretty much the case with all porn, isn't it? Whatever the particular category, the majority of the content is made up of a tiny percentage of the population.

 

[stickygirl]

They weren't declared "safe" either, the NHS position is they don't have enough evidence to be sure they're safe which is why they're not part of the NHS treatment for gender dysphoria.

I'm aware of the report having read it through, but these are drugs that have been used for a number of years for precocious puberty and with no reported ill effects ( though Cass did not look into how the procedures were recorded for that purpose ).

Here are the drugs commonly prescribed as "puberty blockers"

• Goserelin (Zoladex)
• Histrelin (Supprelin LA)
• Leuprolide (Lupron Depot-Ped, Fensolvi)
• Triptorelin (Trelstar, Triptodur)

and here are the ones to treat precocious puberty ( where there is no underlying medical cause )
This usually involves medicine called GnRH analogue therapy, which delays further development.

• Leuprolide acetate (Lupron Depot), or
• Triptorelin (Trelstar, Triptodur Kit).
• Histrelin implant, which lasts up to a year.

^^ So essentially the same drugs...

Most of the observations in the Cass report highlighted poor record keeping and procedural practices. If anything, the report threw light on how underfunded clinics had become given the huge uptick of patients referrals. Indeed the whistleblower, David Bell at the Tavistock clinic cited:
"The clinic's approach was not a safe or viable long term option. The service was struggling to handle growing waiting lists. Not keeping “routine and consistent” patient data. Patients who had other healthcare issues, like neurodiversity or mental health issues, had them overlooked during their treatment."

I agreed with parts of her report, but she never made firm recommendations to ban the use of drugs, but rather to restrict their use to trials with tighter procedural practices. It was outside of her brief to suggest how limited that trial should be in terms of numbers or for how long.

Proving something is safe is an expensive and inexact science. Should we measure outcomes in terms of numbers of suicides or the number of detransition cases instead?

Detransition
For instance, in the UK a survey of 3,398 attendees of a gender identity clinic found that just sixteen – about 0.47% – experienced transition-related regret. Of these, even fewer went on to actually detransition and become detransitioners.
Suicide
One study in the UK found that 34.4% of trans adults had attempted suicide at least once and almost 14% of trans adults had attempted suicide more than twice. ( This was taken from a UK Govt report in 2015 but given that access to clinics was easier ten years ago, the numbers reported today are much higher ).

It angers me that the government and medical world have been so triggered by this report, when over 30,000 people were infected with Hep C and HIV with knowingly contaminated blood for years, despite warnings and proof that it was unsafe. Clearly no one wants to see a disaster in the trans community, but the science is done - the paperwork wasn't.

 

[stickygirl]

Sorry to be jumping topics, but this is such a good video and I couldn't find another thread to post it. If you're on the masc side of female and want to use the link, please do.
As a reminder, I'm a regular trans woman, equally happy in a frock or jeans

The Grey Area

 

[Zrosey]

Excellent YT! I so related to their discussion of the tribulations of not presenting as societal expectations would have us. It is crazy the narrow avenue we are supposed to walk depending on the gender stamped on us at birth.
Looking back now at my middle / high school years, I had my share of abuse for being different, even as I tried to play the game of gender...it took so little to not fit in.
I'm thankful I wasn't the only queer kid in my school, so we at least had a small band of support for each other.

 

[stickygirl]

Excellent YT! I so related to their discussion of the tribulations of not presenting as societal expectations would have us. It is crazy the narrow avenue we are supposed to walk depending on the gender stamped on us at birth.
Looking back now at my middle / high school years, I had my share of abuse for being different, even as I tried to play the game of gender...it took so little to not fit in.
I'm thankful I wasn't the only queer kid in my school, so we at least had a small band of support for each other.

When you're a teen the pressure to conform can be overwhelming... because it's the safe thing to do. But when you don't know which gender signposts to follow you end up making mistakes and get punished for it.
I was lucky to have a Mum & sister who understood my gender and gave me solid advice about presentation.

 

[stickygirl]

Yea rules.
I ended up with an agreement at school that I wore uniform at school but could be me at home. It was more than just clothes though, because I got a pass on boy's sport and could stick with field hockey and swimming, not cricket, rugby etc. I kept in touch with a couple of school friends, one of whom is gay but the other is married with a couple of small kids. It wasn't a big school and was generally a happy place. Everyone kinda knew but few people ever made a thing of it

 

[Zrosey]

When you're a teen the pressure to conform can be overwhelming... because it's the safe thing to do. But when you don't know which gender signposts to follow you end up making mistakes and get punished for it.

Amen to this!!! Where I went to school it took so little deviation from the norm to be labeled queer or weird that even in the little ways I tried to express myself drew attention.
I would wear bracelets, or beaded chokers I had made, and eventually got my ears pierced. There were times it would be scary, and the sullen silence could speak very loud, specially coming from adults!

When I first heard the song "Where is safe?" by Lenny Zenith, I felt like it had been written for me!

 

[stickygirl]

It's a big day for me! My vadge has reached a double figure birthday. Ten years ago, I was vaguely conscious in a haze of painkillers and anaesthetic and too frightened to move in case my insides fell out. It's a good thing we don't remember pain, but only weird little details and thoughts of the experience.

I'm proud of getting through it and grateful to my family for being there, as always, to support me. I don't take things for granted and even now, when I take a pee, I often give a silent TY to my surgeon and body.

 

[Dalelaw2164]

Sorry to be jumping topics, but this is such a good video and I couldn't find another thread to post it. If you're on the masc side of female and want to use the link, please do.
As a reminder, I'm a regular trans woman, equally happy in a frock or jeans

The Grey Area

That is a powerful video.

 

[stickygirl]

Hi dodgeboy, welp, I wasn't around when you asked but I'll go ahead and give you my perspective also!
You asked about actual differences, for myself I started my medical transition 2 years ago. When I say medical I refer to being prescribed hormones to transition my physical and mental self.
Before I started a medical transition I considered myself non-binary gender wise. I tried to live my life as androgynous as I was able. Mostly I did that by styling my hair, the clothes I chose to wear.

I am here to tell you, keep in mind everyones experience can be different and deeply personal, that there are huge changes for me now. My life now really doesn't compare much at all to when I considered myself enby (non binary, androgynous), the physical changes have been awesome! They include, my skin has gotten very soft, most of my body hair is gone, the hair on my head is amazing! it has really gotten thick! and I've been growing my very own tits ( I so love them, but they are sore!) lastly my man tackle has pretty well shrunk and isn't really operable anymore.

The mental part of my transition is equally as earth shaking (for me anyways) I am so much happier life feels totally positive to me, my previous depression is gone and has been gone for almost two years! I never knew what it was like to wake up happy before I did this!
So anyways that might give you a little idea of the difference between folx that are transgender and those in the androgynous scene. Please keep in mind everyone has their own personal take on it.

I hope you don't mind if I transplant this to my thread?

What jumped out at me reading this were a couple of things. Firstly, the happy memories it provoked and how I felt at your stage of transition - I'm almost jealous of that excitement, of that progress in your life. Love every minute!

The other thought was less positive, but comparing your joy with how anti-trans legislation is robbing young trans folk of a chance to grow and find that happiness. Sadly opinion flourishes in exceptions, so if there is one, well publicised case of transition-regret then 'we must stop all transitions, just in case'.

If affected trans folks were collapsing and dying in doctor's surgeries there would be no question of providing help. Instead, we're left out of sight, rotting, eaten up by depression and anxiety, our ideation of suicide growing day by day. In ten or twenty years time, when enough statistics have been amassed that even politicians accept that 40% of trans attempt suicide is a fact not a "woke fiction", then maybe we'll see change.

 

[Zrosey]

Super busy day today at my job, so I'll have to respond later, but no, I don't mind yall moving over here!

 

[Zrosey]

What jumped out at me reading this were a couple of things. Firstly, the happy memories it provoked and how I felt at your stage of transition

Another trans woman I know and have spoken with quite awhile told me way back when I started hormones, "eventually you won't even think of being trans, you will just be you, a woman"
At this point I am having a hard time imagining that! Even two years in I have moments where I find myself in awe and giggling often until there are happy tears on my cheeks!
In a way, I'm afraid to loose this, like I want to continue to be so excited I won't hardly be able to contain myself!
Stickygirl, I hope you had moments also this joyful, and reading your stuff makes me think you def know what I'm talking about.

Instead, we're left out of sight, rotting, eaten up by depression and anxiety, our ideation of suicide growing day by day

And this....yep I can so much relate. This current crop of criminal politicians really doesn't give a shit about any people on a diverse spectrum. I'm certain we are nothing more than outrage fodder for their campaigns and they know full well the damage they do to marginalized communities, but feel it's worth it in their grab for power.

Still, as depressing as politics can be I'm doing my best to not let them steal my joy and hopefully that of others around me.

 

[Zrosey]

Never let the truth get in the way of a good prejudice?

This really sums up so many of the politicians these days.....
If I wasn't so happy I might get depressed thinking of that reality.
and hey, if there are any politicians reading this, I vote!

 

[OddLove]

Do MtF trans date guys? Might sound like a dumb question, but every trans women I've ever known, met, or heard about only liked women. The only time I've seen them hooking up with guys is when they're making online content for like Pornhub or something.

 

[Zrosey]

Do MtF trans date guys? Might sound like a dumb question, but every trans women I've ever known, met, or heard about only liked women. The only time I've seen them hooking up with guys is when they're making online content for like Pornhub or something.

Sure, some do. It's a dangerous world out there tho, so the desire to be safe could make connecting w a transgender woman difficult.

 

[OddLove]

Sure, some do. It's a dangerous world out there tho, so the desire to be safe could make connecting w a transgender woman difficult.

My theory is most trans women were straight men, so when they transitioned they became lesbian. And the only trans women who like dating men would've been gay men before they transitioned. That's how I've always seen it in my brain. Like if I met I dated a trans man, I would guess before the transition he was a straight female. But I think the safety point is valid too, cause there's transphobes and disrespectful chasers, and then there's transphobes who are also chasers. And 99.9 of people in those categories are most likely men. So avoiding men almost guarantees not accidental inviting that into your life.

 

[Zrosey]

Transgender women are all a varied bunch of individuals just like the rest of the world. Some prefer men others women as partners.
I can only speak for myself, but even tho I am attracted to some guys, I'm not sure it is worth the risk. Almost all the violence against women and transgender people is started by men.....sad fact.

 

[stickygirl]

My theory is most trans women were straight men, so when they transitioned they became lesbian. And the only trans women who like dating men would've been gay men before they transitioned. That's how I've always seen it in my brain. Like if I met I dated a trans man, I would guess before the transition he was a straight female. But I think the safety point is valid too, cause there's transphobes and disrespectful chasers, and then there's transphobes who are also chasers. And 99.9 of people in those categories are most likely men. So avoiding men almost guarantees not accidental inviting that into your life.

I'm living happily with a guy atm, but my last couple of meaningful relationships were with women.

The trope that trans women have transitioned to have access to lesbians, or women's spaces or restrooms is just laughable. But my mother had to pause for breath when I told her I was dating another girl. I could see her cogs whirring, then she reset and was simply happy for me.
What you illustrate is how gender and sexuality are two separate things. Transgender people are forced to question the heteronormative world - question everything in western society for that matter - so we're more likely to have shed the stigma of homosexuality along the way. We have to decide matters for our bodies that run counter to traditional societal values so why not sexuality as well?

ETA
Historically the medical gatekeepers had tickboxes to complete if they were to approve a trans patient for treatment or surgery. We had to provide proof we had dressed and socially transitioned for two years, our body language was scrutinised, and we were quizzed about our sexuality. In effect they'd want patients to act like 'proper little ladies' or else we'd fail to gain medical approval. Any hint of being lesbian would have meant failure to pass these checks.
Those hurdles were gradually coming down when I transitioned, but I was advised to remain tight-lipped over my 'deviant sexuality'!

 

[stickygirl]

Another trans woman I know and have spoken with quite awhile told me way back when I started hormones, "eventually you won't even think of being trans, you will just be you, a woman"
At this point I am having a hard time imagining that! Even two years in I have moments where I find myself in awe and giggling often until there are happy tears on my cheeks!
In a way, I'm afraid to loose this, like I want to continue to be so excited I won't hardly be able to contain myself!
Stickygirl, I hope you had moments also this joyful, and reading your stuff makes me think you def know what I'm talking about.

I still get reminders that make me smile.

Gender never used to be a common topic of conversation, but the tabloids and 'influencers' have pushed it forward, so I'm sure you'll always find yourself speaking up and advocating for trans rights. So one never really gets the opportunity to forget.

 

[OddLove]

Here's three more question for anyone who cares to answer.

1. Is it transphobic to lose attraction towards someone that you were interested in after finding out they're trans?

2. Is it transphobic to lose attraction towards towards someone you already knew was trans after finding out they had bottom surgery?

3. Is it transphobic if a woman is straight but won't date trans men?, or if a man is straight but won't date trans women?

 

[stickygirl]

Here's three more question for anyone who cares to answer.

1. Is it transphobic to lose attraction towards someone that you were interested in after finding out they're trans?

Not necessarily. Maybe they prefer cis women. OTOH if their reaction was being icked by the discovery, then yes, transphobic.

2. Is it transphobic to lose attraction towards towards someone you already knew was trans after finding out they had bottom surgery?

Not really. As an analogy, how would it be described if a girl was turned off by a dick that was circumcised (or not)?

3. Is it transphobic if a woman is straight but won't date trans men?, or if a man is straight but won't date trans women?

Again it depends on context and the way their preference is demonstrated/vocalised.

Trans folk appreciate that cisgender people can find us surprising or that we don't fit their idea of a good partner. These are topics that might be quietly discussed on a second date and before there was too much expectation and commitment from either side.

I think people can become a bit sensitive to other people's opinions and preferences and can make accusations in the heat of the moment. As Rosey points out, we're not a monolith, we're individuals with a medical issue, so there's going to be as many different opinions as there are people. Being respectful and polite, smiling and saying thank you's makes for a happier day for everyone.

 

[Zrosey]

Trans folk appreciate that cisgender people can find us surprising or that we don't fit their idea of a good partner. These are topics that might be quietly discussed on a second date and before there was too much expectation and commitment from either side.

This right here! With an emphasis on "quietly discussed". If I as a transgender folk don't fit someones expectations in a relationship that's fine. Cisgender relationships fail for all different kinds of reasons as well.
It starts becoming transphobic really quickly when the one partner feels the need to broadcast to the world how victimized they were.

 

[Paradox]

Once again, I express my thanks for this thread. I have learned so much more from the discussions here than I could have ever learned from searching the web and public media. The openness, personal stories, and willingness to answer questions with respect and honesty is wonderful. And, while I give props to Sticky for starting the thread and setting the tone, my thanks extend to all of you who share your lives and struggles.