Ask a MtF TG a question

[stickygirl]

Now that I am spending some time with my girlfriend, I had a chance to tell her about the studies which show a minority of trans women are straight. Her reaction was priceless.

She was very surprised and asked me how they could determine this. I told her studies have been done in which the participants were asked about their sexual orientation.

Her response was, I can't believe this, they must have been lying. I asked her why would they lie on a confidential questionnaire?

In her defense, it could be that there are few Filipina transgender women who are lesbian or bisexual. I doubt that this is true but who knows really?

I looked at the studies again to see where the participants are from and the few I found were from the US and Europe. I couldn't find any data from the Philippines or Thailand so maybe she is right.

I'm pleased to hear you're getting some quality time with her

I don't know enough about those societies to guess if lesbianism was accepted or even recognised as a kind of sexuality. We put homosexuality up in lights, but if women in Thailand thought nothing of being sexually intimate with another woman, then they wouldn't stigmatise it. Perhaps Queen Victoria never agreed to a law to make lesbianism illegal not because she didn't believe women did it, but because she was sfw?

There's another cultural difference that being trans in the West is seen fundamentally as a sexual thing: pornography is the culprit there. That attitude reduces trans women in the West to fetish objects to gratify men. Who wants to be regarded as a walking wank sock?

Or maybe it's just difficult to find a good man?

 

[pleasuremodeloneten]

I'm pleased to hear you're getting some quality time with her

I don't know enough about those societies to guess if lesbianism was accepted or even recognised as a kind of sexuality. We put homosexuality up in lights, but if women in Thailand thought nothing of being sexually intimate with another woman, then they wouldn't stigmatise it. Perhaps Queen Victoria never agreed to a law to make lesbianism illegal not because she didn't believe women did it, but because she was sfw?

There's another cultural difference that being trans in the West is seen fundamentally as a sexual thing: pornography is the culprit there. That attitude reduces trans women in the West to fetish objects to gratify men. Who wants to be regarded as a walking wank sock?

Or maybe it's just difficult to find a good man?

That’s a very good point about western culture viewing trans only through a sexual lens. Too many things in general seem to be viewed through that lens.
I think it’s because your average westerner has so many hangups, we’ve all been raised in these repressive societies that have turned us into guilt ridden ravenous sex fiends. All we can think about is the forbidden fruit that we have been told all our lives not to touch.

And yes, it is hard to find a good man, we tend to be SUCH PIGS! As my lovely ex wife used to exclaim in a faux falsetto…

My first glimpse into Thai culture was via, of all things, a novel written by an Englishman called “Bangkok 8”
Great read.
Happy Saturday, thanks for allowing me to wedge myself uninvited into the convo!

 

[Dalelaw2164]

I'm pleased to hear you're getting some quality time with her

I don't know enough about those societies to guess if lesbianism was accepted or even recognised as a kind of sexuality. We put homosexuality up in lights, but if women in Thailand thought nothing of being sexually intimate with another woman, then they wouldn't stigmatise it. Perhaps Queen Victoria never agreed to a law to make lesbianism illegal not because she didn't believe women did it, but because she was sfw?

There's another cultural difference that being trans in the West is seen fundamentally as a sexual thing: pornography is the culprit there. That attitude reduces trans women in the West to fetish objects to gratify men. Who wants to be regarded as a walking wank sock?

Or maybe it's just difficult to find a good man?

Wank Sock, isn’t that a Green Day cover band? If it isn’t it should be…
Homophobia seems to come in all shapes and forms, and I believe that women are as capable of it as men… male homophobia gets more attention (I think) because it takes an uglier form when expressed. They fear their own feelings so they beat and kill. Women exclude and excoriate.
I’m venturing away from transphobia here, but it’s all one and the same isn’t it?
Easy for me to say as a mostly straight white male who doesn’t have to fear driving across West Virginia as my black neighbor does… I drive across the state frequently from Ohio to Maryland and Virginia, none of which are overly black friendly in certain areas, but I have recently begun trying to not frequent establishments where I would feel uncomfortable venturing into if my skin were darker…
I’m at a brew pub, three beers in. Pardon my deviations

 

[stickygirl]

I see in the national UK press ( via Woman’s Hour radio program ) that Dr Cass has been digging the hole deeper again.

She’s now gaslighting transgender people, and the doctors who treat them, by claiming puberty blockers ‘don’t work’ because, in the majority of cases the young person resolves their gender orientation through counselling. She also muddied the water by claiming, wrongly, that ‘some therapies’ cause irreversible change. I was left banging my head on this BS.

Puberty blockers do work, but they don’t cure the underlying problem THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT and they don’t cause irreversible physical damage if used under medical supervision - same as any drug.

She points out, rightly enough, that there is too much emphasis on puberty blockers and not enough on counselling and psychiatry. She avoids avoids the problem of dire under-resourcing that led to doctors prescribing blockers, quite often unnecessarily, was because there was a woeful lack of counselling and psychiatric care available from the NHS.

Maybe because she was commissioned by the NHS she felt she couldn’t point the finger of blame at them? Perhaps the lack of funding was so fucking obvious that she felt it wasn’t worth mentioning? So yes, Dr Cass - far too much emphasis on blockers ( and not enough about funding), but whose fault is that?

What made the Tavistock centre buckle was the poor level of initial GP diagnoses leading to lazy & ignorant referrals, lacking parental common sense and the fluffy fairy-tale bullshit pervaded by well-meaning, but ultimately corrosive, trans propaganda. The system was overwhelmed but puberty blockers were not the cause.

 

[ColeyD]

Thanks for this thread it’s really informative about a subject I have to admit to knowing little about, and I’ve learnt something tonight x

 

[stickygirl]

Hopefully this podcast from Woman's Hour is accessible outside the UK ( let me know ). I was nervous to listen to it because I was worried I'd find it upsetting, but I don't think there's any need for a trigger warning. It's a short interview with Dr Cass, the researcher who compiled a report on health care for trans kids in the UK.

There were a couple of points she raised that I found inaccurate, such as the timescale of the closure of Tavistock against the new clinics opening. She made it sound like it was seamless but there has been a three year gap and still no real progress.
She said puberty blockers were 'oversold' as a benefit - I'm not sure that's correct. I think there was misinformation and critics who used "blockers" as a banner to wave without understanding what they do or don't do. In the interview Cass makes no attempt to clarify and thus dodged the real question over hrt treatments.
I don't think she a bad person, but I think she's arrogant despite her smooth talk. There are things with which I agree, some I don't but after so much time gathering evidence one might have hoped for a better report.

 

[drobert44]

Hopefully this podcast from Woman's Hour is accessible outside the UK ( let me know ). I was nervous to listen to it because I was worried I'd find it upsetting, but I don't think there's any need for a trigger warning. It's a short interview with Dr Cass, the researcher who compiled a report on health care for trans kids in the UK.

There were a couple of points she raised that I found inaccurate, such as the timescale of the closure of Tavistock against the new clinics opening. She made it sound like it was seamless but there has been a three year gap and still no real progress.
She said puberty blockers were 'oversold' as a benefit - I'm not sure that's correct. I think there was misinformation and critics who used "blockers" as a banner to wave without understanding what they do or don't do. In the interview Cass makes no attempt to clarify and thus dodged the real question over hrt treatments.
I don't think she a bad person, but I think she's arrogant despite her smooth talk. There are things with which I agree, some I don't but after so much time gathering evidence one might have hoped for a better report.

Works OK in USA, stickygirl...........

 

[stickygirl]

I had an update email from Julia Serano. If there's anyone that makes me sit on my hands and say nothing because you realise how smart they are, it's her. Here's a link to her fairly news YT site
She has also announced a number of new essays and if you have a vested interested in trans issues, they are always a good, if academic reads. She's got a few essays listed through a substack and here's one on trans in sport... Vicky the physio would hoover up this info!

 

[stickygirl]

This isn't a trans thing, more a woman post and I would have posted it to another thread but I don't want to swap it with my ideas.
I've followed YTs Eva zu Beck on and off for a while and admire her courage. She travels and vlogs and has become so good at it that Nat Geographic ask her to film for them. Anyhow she decided to put down roots and bought a plot of land somewhere in the hills in Poland.
So what happens? She gets two male stalkers who tracked her down. One even flew to her filming location in Africa ffs.
Here's a link to her video where she discovered the second stalker on her land.

 

[JiminNC]

My trans girlfriend and I have been together for the past five years. She has been a woman her entire life and she is now 38 years old. She has never had any attraction to women and she has never been a gay man! She is a hairdresser and has never been involved in sex work of any kind.

From what I have read a large majority of trans women are lesbian or bi and only about a quarter are straight. Of course these generalizations are not terribly useful when dealing with specific individuals.

From what I’ve found, a person’s gender and sexual preference are somewhat independent.

 

[Paradox]

The world is getting uglier by the minute. I feel it, and I'm a white male. I can't imagine what people who are not CIS white male...well, maybe a few CIS white females...are feeling these days. For some, I suppose it is just more of what they have experienced all of their lives.

For years I've been telling myself that the haters are a relatively small, but very vocal, minority who have gained undue influence over the majority. Now I don't know what to think. Just know that my thoughts, as muddled as they are, are with you all. I was going to say, especially those who are in the U.S., but this trend toward authoritarian theocracy is going global. I'm sorry, my friends.

 

[stickygirl]

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance, taking a few moments to think of people whose hand we cannot hold anymore. Haven't missed one of these in Sheffield for years, but there in spirit today

https://scontent-lhr8-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/461210246_913401617491269_4573545247979370398_n.jpg?_nc_cat=101&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=833d8c&_nc_ohc=K9HTtDVdiC0Q7kNvgEm8YqF&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-lhr8-2.xx&_nc_gid=AsRyamGKscEUJqeLo1qfADq&oh=00_AYBxerYqsPCDzqIN4ptsYkb_QZGh9zemvG7hGdjPPuECCA&oe=674357AD

 

[stickygirl]

Lets hear it for zips that stay up - Instagram

 

[stickygirl]

Fucking hell. I'm getting worried about the availability of hrt in the UK now. Having moved, I've got a different GP practice that I've never actually attended. I'm too frightened to ask about their policy

 

[Zrosey]

Fucking hell. I'm getting worried about the availability of hrt in the UK now. Having moved, I've got a different GP practice that I've never actually attended. I'm too frightened to ask about their policy

Omg! this is terrible!
Do you have any options in the UK? are there private practice doctors willing to work with you? Of course than cost becomes an issue....as many in the US know.
This is increasingly on my mind as well, the soon to be in power admin has floated the idea of denying even adults access to HRT. I hear and read about alternative sources for my drugs, but not sure I would trust them or even how to connect with the suppliers.

I hope this doesn't happen to you

After reading the Independent article again, it sounds like even many private practice doctors are refusing Gender health care for fear of breaking laws...
I'm pretty sure that is the case in some states here in the US. So far I am lucky, but will that continue?
It is times like these I wonder if I would be better off living in a more urban place, a place with potentially more options and people like myself to form community and maybe help each other.

 

[Zrosey]

Fucking hell. I'm getting worried about the availability of hrt in the UK now. Having moved, I've got a different GP practice that I've never actually attended. I'm too frightened to ask about their policy

This stuff becomes a whole nother level for one's that have had confirmation surgeries...

 

[LannaLace]

Fucking hell. I'm getting worried about the availability of hrt in the UK now. Having moved, I've got a different GP practice that I've never actually attended. I'm too frightened to ask about their policy

That is concerning indeed! I thought Doctors were obligated to treat and help those in need regardless of orientation. One would think that if they had reservations they would refer you to one that would provide care?

 

[dodgeboy2]

Fucking hell. I'm getting worried about the availability of hrt in the UK now. Having moved, I've got a different GP practice that I've never actually attended. I'm too frightened to ask about their policy

That really sucks for all in need in the UK I hope you and all others there can find a way to continue the journey to being who they are. Unfortunately that leave for only a couple of options, either move to somewhere you can continue to get those needed HRT's or find a way to get them illegally which may have the possibilities those needed drugs may be of unsure and maybe unsafe qualities.

Sticky I wish you the best for you and of course all else in the UK to find a way to continue to be who you are happily!

 

[stickygirl]

From what I've been able to work out from media sources, about 8% of GPs are now refusing to take responsibility for repeat prescriptions for a variety of reasons. As the referenced article suggests, a GP can refer to a cardiologist for advice on treating heart patients, but both governments have over-reacted to the Cass report ( ie it was just a report not an unequivocal decision ) to delay the establishment of new regional GID clinics that Cass suggested, but at the same time slashing the existing services - it's proved politically convenient to use Cass to save money. As a result GPs now lack a consultant or specialist centre to offer clinical guidance.
I'm hoping, because I'm established and not transitioning, that my prescriptions will be unimpeded. I've managed a regular appointment for two weeks time - yes, Christmas Eve.
It's an unavoidable truth that more trans folk will take the suicide route, given the way doors have been slammed shut. The politicians will cite medical advice, the doctors will blame the politicians. It's a fucking tragedy, not just for the unfortunate 8% but our whole community.

 

[stickygirl]

The hits just keep on coming.

I found this on the BBC feed, that isn't related to the topic above, but draws attention to the proposed 'big fat study' proposed by Cass to improve the quality of data regarding the use of puberty blockers ( actually goes beyond simply blockers but that's the triggering headline topic for the public ). It looks like the 'experts' can't agree how to conduct a meaningful study ( Well, hey guys that's where we were before Cass ) and so there's vague idea it might happen in 2025. I suspect 2025 will be to decide who decides what gets studied, which will then need to be peer-reviewed, then funding sought from the NHS.... I say nothing will happen until 2030.
One eyeroll was Cass noting that the numbers of de-transitioning could be increasing. No, if you're talking percentages and the number of people with GD rises then yes, instead of two people a year, there might be ten. Whoopie fucking do.

 

[Zrosey]

proposed 'big fat study' proposed by Cass to improve the quality of data regarding the use of puberty blockers ( actually goes beyond simply blockers but that's the triggering headline topic for the public ).

Seems to me all this talk of more studies, lack of data, is just smoke and mirrors for politicians to wave around and upset their followers.
GnRH analogues (puberty blockers) have been around since the 1970's and I would imagine pretty thoroughly looked at by now.
" The aim of various therapeutic methods was to suppress the pituitary gonadal function, in precocious puberty also long-term administration of GnRH agonists has proved remarkably safe and effective.[16,17]"
ref: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4229791/

of course none of this matters....politicians, specially one's of the conservative stripe don't seem to give a shit about facts or scientific studies.

 

[stickygirl]

Here's a list of waiting times for the all new gender clinics in the UK. I suppose you can always beat the trans out of your children...

I'm sorry to sound so negative about things. Personally I'm fine - I'm lucky because I'm not longer considered to be transitioning, so my supply of prescribed estrogen is not affected (yet?). I made it to the other side, but I'm looking back and seeing people trying to cross and it's heart-breaking.
We just want to live our lives, be loved, contribute to the world, care for others. Apparently other people know better. When you look to see which people are saying that we don't or shouldn't exist, then you see all kinds of parallels in history.

 

[Paradox]

To borrow a phrase from a song, a tale as old as time.

I'm becoming more and more aware of the negative effects of ignorance and the evil intentions of those who manipulate that ignorance. For the near future, I fear the situation will not get better and can only hope there will be enough resistance that it won't get significantly worse. My question for myself then is, how can I/we help those affected by this ignorance/hatred/abuse make it through until better times? I would love suggestions from people who are directly affected as to what an old, essentially straight, white guy can do to provide support and care?

 

[Crios]

Here's a list of waiting times for the all new gender clinics in the UK. I suppose you can always beat the trans out of your children...
View attachment 2459074
I'm sorry to sound so negative about things. Personally I'm fine - I'm lucky because I'm not longer considered to be transitioning, so my supply of prescribed estrogen is not affected (yet?). I made it to the other side, but I'm looking back and seeing people trying to cross and it's heart-breaking.
We just want to live our lives, be loved, contribute to the world, care for others. Apparently other people know better. When you look to see which people are saying that we don't or shouldn't exist, then you see all kinds of parallels in history.

What are the reasons for these unacceptable delays? Willful obstruction on the part of government (failure to provide adequate funding/de facto discrimination)? Lack of qualified physicians? High demand for services?

 

[stickygirl]

What are the reasons for these unacceptable delays? Willful obstruction on the part of government (failure to provide adequate funding/de facto discrimination)? Lack of qualified physicians? High demand for services?

Oh boy - this is a long explanation. Ten years ago there was support for trans folk, which was reflected in the policies of all political parties. That support was undermined by misinformation, led by the Murdoch press, whose readers got bored with being titillated by trannies, and found they could sell more papers to MumsNet instead. Conservative religious groups and media influencers fell in line to spin the wheels of lies and hysteria. In many ways transphobia today mirrors the homophobia of the 1970s with tropes like 'they're all perverts, they rape women, they spread aids, they convert our children...' Ladida - all that bullshit.

It became untenable for politicians to continue their support and they quickly caved in: repealing legal rights and protections and throttling the funds of existing medical services. It was easy to commission an 'independent report' into transgender services, which basically said the service is kinda shit in the UK, without providing the reasons of why it was shit, like lack of staff, funding, research.
"Aha!" cried the politicians, ever keen to cut budgets. "We must stop harming children. The two existing national centres must close and we'll create much better regional centres instead".

The result of that decision is illustrated by the chart above, which lists the waiting times for the new regional centres. I'd call that wilful obstruction.

Yes, high demand, but why? It's a bottleneck at specialist centres created by GPs who may be unwilling to offer local help. It is more ethical for the GP to refer a patient to a consultant in a perfect well-funded world, but GPs are short-staffed and don't have the resources to offer local help anyway.

Blockers and HRT
The rules have changed further in 2024 with an outright legal ban on puberty blockers to U18s.
( As a reminder puberty blockers have been used since the 1980s to treat precocious puberty. They are not an unknown drug and have already been approved by regulatory bodies. The effects are reversible - they only delay the onset of puberty )

Additionally some GP surgeries have recently stopped HRT prescriptions for existing transitioning patients, who will be over 18. That is not a legal ban, but a whim of the GP. There is a case to be made that since HRT drugs can still be prescribed to treat symptoms of menopause, this is discriminatory action. Can you imagine how it must feel to have waited years to get a referral to have your transition approved, start treatment and then have it pulled away? I'd guess the majority will buy the drugs online instead, where regulation is like the wild west.

In the US I don't think there has been a ban on blockers, but then your health system is very different. There are probably profits to be made from selling blockers and hrt so there is resistance to bans.