Ask a MtF TG a question

[Escierto]

So true. You really can’t make any assumptions.

 

[stickygirl]

Readers know I post meaningful links and posts on this thread but this one brought me to tears. I flit around igmur for fun, but then this popped up. Yes, it's a long read, it's about Gov Abbott's vendetta against transgender kids and their families, but there is also a list of advice at the end. I can't help much - I'm not in the US but maybe you can? Just being aware of the problems helps. Thanks

Morgan Davis at the DFPS

 

[Crios]

This is exactly why I despise and loathe Texas and why I want to leave. It’s bad enough to have such an evil man as governor but he is actually going to win again in November. One can only conclude that the majority of Texans are truly evil people.

For Abbott attacking transgender people makes his voters forget that while he has been governor: the electricity grid has failed; crime has increased; the transportation infrastructure is woefully inadequate and taxes have skyrocketed. HE IS a FAILURE and yet his legions of brain dead white trash supporters will re-elect him. This place is hell.

And let us not forget the hypocrisy of Texas' leaders, including Abbott. Their so-called "pro-life" stance means that they only care about the unborn. As soon as a child is born, it's perfectly acceptable for them to be murdered as they attend school, e.g. Uvalde.

 

[AlexBailey]

After traveling to Portland Oregon recently I can happily say there are places in America that openly embrace trans and non-binary rights. Pride flags and “all welcome” signs on businesses seem to be the rule rather than the exception. I saw lots of stores, big and small, with signs saying “queer/trans welcome.”

My wife and I were there to visit our sons, the oldest of which introduced us to his trans-girlfriend. She has been doing HT for the last year and was nervous about meeting her new boyfriend’s family until she met us.

We hung out for hours sharing stories and crazy things about Portland nightlife. She told us about her family all but disowning her when she came out, saying that she only hears from her parents through her sister anymore.

When we were leaving I gave her a big hug and felt her melt. She smiled at me and said, “Oh, you’re a hugger?”

I told her to take good care of my boy.


There are a lot more visible non-binary folks there than I’ve seen anywhere else, lots of people like me who present in a hybrid fashion, lots of non-passing trans people. My wife and I were having fun secretly trying to guess the gender of many people we came across.

We’re seriously considering moving there.

 

[stickygirl]

After traveling to Portland Oregon recently I can happily say there are places in America that openly embrace trans and non-binary rights. Pride flags and “all welcome” signs on businesses seem to be the rule rather than the exception. I saw lots of stores, big and small, with signs saying “queer/trans welcome.”

My wife and I were there to visit our sons, the oldest of which introduced us to his trans-girlfriend. She has been doing HT for the last year and was nervous about meeting her new boyfriend’s family until she met us.

We hung out for hours sharing stories and crazy things about Portland nightlife. She told us about het family all but disowning her when she came out, saying that she only hears from her parents through her sister anymore.

When we were leaving I gave her a big hug and felt her melt. She smiled at me and said, “Oh, you’re a hugger?”

I told her to take good care of my boy.


There are a lot more visible non-binary folks there than I’ve seen anywhere else, lots of people like me who present in a hybrid fashion, lots of non-passing trans people. My wife and I were having fun secretly trying to guess the gender of many people we came across.

We’re seriously considering moving there.

Good to hear from you Alex and that you're staying connected with distant family. Do it - move!

I just checked where it was on the map to find Vancouver right next to it. Huh?! Then I zoomed back and Oregon has it's own Vancouver! That could confuse a simple girl like me
I'd happily move to the other Vancouver. Canada strikes me as lovely

 

[AlexBailey]

How is it that a beautiful place like Portland, Oregon can be in the same country as Neanderthal states like Texas? It’s time to divide the country. I don’t want to live with these morons any longer.

Portland definitely has many issues, especially with homlessness, rampant street drugs, and a hard-core rightwing minority, but it's a big place with a lot going on and lots of open-minded people.

 

[Crios]

How is it that a beautiful place like Portland, Oregon can be in the same country as Neanderthal states like Texas? It’s time to divide the country. I don’t want to live with these morons any longer.

If only that were possible, my friend. I live in Wisconsin which, except for Madison and Milwaukee, pretty homophobic, racist, sexist, etc. Was out for a motorcycle ride yesterday and just get disgusted by all of the signs for right-wing fascist candidates.

 

[stickygirl]

I feel ya.
We have a sham UK government with an anti-LGBT agenda but is too preoccupied with their own political survival to set those policies in motion. Yet.
But lets shut the door on that stuff if we can. So change of topic

I'm well into writing a fresh story with a new central character. She pre-op trans and into sports in a big way. Right now I'm juggling adjectives and trying to make her first erotic encounter passionate and real. She can't get a hard on without help, but who cares when there's a hungry mouth at work?
Spoilers huh? I'll keep you posted.

 

[Escierto]

I feel ya.
We have a sham UK government with an anti-LGBT agenda but is too preoccupied with their own political survival to set those policies in motion. Yet.
But lets shut the door on that stuff if we can. So change of topic

I'm well into writing a fresh story with a new central character. She pre-op trans and into sports in a big way. Right now I'm juggling adjectives and trying to make her first erotic encounter passionate and real. She can't get a hard on without help, but who cares when there's a hungry mouth at work?
Spoilers huh? I'll keep you posted.

Nice change of topic!

 

[stickygirl]

Nice change of topic!

Ha!
I've just finished the first sex scene and it's fucking hot. Where the hell did that lot come from?! I am a filthy girl with a bad bad imagination.... but it's romantic too. It can be both.

 

[timreh]

Good to hear from you Alex and that you're staying connected with distant family. Do it - move!

I just checked where it was on the map to find Vancouver right next to it. Huh?! Then I zoomed back and Oregon has it's own Vancouver! That could confuse a simple girl like me
I'd happily move to the other Vancouver. Canada strikes me as lovely

fyi, Vancouver, B.C., Canada is one of the most expensive places to live in North America. It's a beautiful area, but gosh the housing is super high priced!!

 

[AncientAviator]

stickygirl, I'd like to ask you a question or two in private. Is that permissible?

 

[stickygirl]

Here's a pretty balanced article published today in Reuters that summarises the medical and ethical dilemmas faced in treating gender dysphoria, with a focus on the US.

One paragraph I found alarming
"At most of the clinics, a team of professionals – typically a social worker, a psychologist and a doctor specializing in adolescent medicine or endocrinology – initially meets with the parents and child for two hours or more to get to know the family, their medical history and their goals for treatment. They also discuss the benefits and risks of treatment options. Seven of the clinics said that if they don’t see any red flags and the child and parents are in agreement, they are comfortable prescribing puberty blockers or hormones based on the first visit, depending on the age of the child."

This has come about despite adopting assessment protocols, based on excellent work in the Netherlands, increased demand has inevitably led to corners being cut. My own assessments last months, agonising months it's fair to say, but clearly at the time, practitioners were understandably and rightly cautious. Making a judgement in two hours is not enough, but maybe the editing didn't fully reveal their process?

If you have time, read the whole article. Interesting statistic was that 65% of patients in the US clinics were AMAB, which sounds about right for other countries too. Nice to read something without bias, that looks at the facts not opinions.

 

[stickygirl]

On the same 'being honest and realistic' theme ^^ this Maya Henry YT is excellent - 10 reasons not to transition.

It's been fascinating watching her progress and mindset over the last couple of years and how her changing perspective has often matched my own.

 

[stickygirl]

Phew. My latest story is up, Goalposts

It's impossible to ignore the push back against transgender participation in sports right now, so I wanted to weave a story around that, to keep things real. There are plenty of excellent fantasy TG stories on Lit but I prefer to have feet on the ground in mine. I hope it doesn't come across as preachy but there is a lovely romantic relationship that blossoms, so there's laughter and tears.

Perfect for reading on the sofa with a hot cuppa and pack of tissues.... how you use the tissues is up to you!

 

[coati]

I'll check out this new story when I get a chance. And thanks for pointing out the versatility of tissues,

 

[stickygirl]

https://i.imgur.com/VvPTB74.jpeg
https://i.imgur.com/LGESuaS.gif

It’s funny because most people who have transgender reassignment surgery are over the consenting age of 18 and are not children. Most of these surgeries are done in non profit health systems and any substantial amount of profit made typically goes to insurance companies. 5 billion dollars is not a lot of money to either party or the government to start with and she’s a raging lunatic who makes no sense.

 

[AlexBailey]

US conservatives keep using the talking point of "mutilating genitals". I guess they're finally going to ban circumcision.

 

[Crios]

https://i.imgur.com/VvPTB74.jpeg
https://i.imgur.com/LGESuaS.gif

It’s funny because most people who have transgender reassignment surgery are over the consenting age of 18 and are not children. Most of these surgeries are done in non profit health systems and any substantial amount of profit made typically goes to insurance companies. 5 billion dollars is not a lot of money to either party or the government to start with and she’s a raging lunatic who makes no sense.

Boebert and her cronies peddle in fear. Make people afraid of something or someone and then they'll quickly move on to hate. Logic plays no part in their tweets or speeches. To their followers, demagogues like Boebert are right and everyone else is wrong. Echo chamber.

 

[stickygirl]

Humph. You folks know I write stories and I try to keep them real, but I can't please everyone.
This is just a moan of frustration but it feeds back into my life as well as those of other trans women.

I posted the latest story, Goalposts, which features a pre-op trans and a cis gender woman. Do I need to specify she's pre-op? Well yes I do, here at Lit... or anywhere else for that matter. It's all very well for people to take the moral high ground by saying 'but it shouldn't matter' but it really, seriously does and people who say that have no idea what they're talking about. If you're going to bed with someone, they deserve to know what they're going to find between your legs. At best you're being polite, at worse you could be saving yourself from a kicking. I posted the story in Trans/CD...

The particular problem at Lit is how to categorise a story. In the past, my muse Hannah ( post op ) had a lesbian fling and I submitted it in Lesbians, but I could see by the patchwork of scores and feedback that some people were grossed that it featured a trans woman despite an absence of dick. If I put it in Trans/CD then I'd gross the dick lovers instead because there's descriptions of lady bits and no anal. FFS! What Lit needs is a Pansexual category, where potential readers don't give a damn about 'bits' but enjoy a good story no matter what.

In Under the Knife Ch02 Hannah hooks up with a dude and like any trans woman, she has to disclose her status. In her words "I'm obliged to. Apparently." I've been in that situation so I know how it feels and Hannah spoke for me, though she was more succinct than me.

I'll always be a trans woman and in 95% of situations I have no disclosure obligation. I guess even erotic writing is an area of my life where I just don't fit. Is Lit is the wrong venue for 21st century sex?

Maybe I should stick with Romance - my story ratings there were good... Better class of reader in Romance I think! La di da

 

[stickygirl]

This is too real. And it also reminds me how, in a typical gay male cruising situations (public restroom, video arcade, park, etc.), the guy on a oral-giving end is not going to expose his genitals or chest. Tell me how his transgender/cisgender identity would ever have any bearing on this purely sexual transaction?

I think it's sad that being trans is treated like being a ex-convict-- an unpleasant surprise if you didn't know it before you fucked them. It doesn't matter to people how convincing our presentation is to them when all they perceive is deception. You mentioned the Lesbian category. There's that population with a large subset of people who will be affronted by transfeminine existence no matter what.

I have never posted a story in Gay Male. The trans man in my 3-part story is incidental (not a very deep story, just some Fetish material of the watersports variety, lol). Not sure what people's usual experiences are, but I know on gay dating apps that trans men get a lot of flak from cis men. In the past, I have personally been warned by an older man not to "lie" to men about being "a girl."

Lit has some small sparks of "21st century" inspiration here and there, I've seen. But, whenever I think about writing something erotic and maybe long-form that I want to publish, I think about publishing independently instead of putting it here. Not because I want money, I don't assume I'll earn anything... But, because Lit is 80% for people looking to rub one out and be done (ain't nothing wrong with that), 15% people looking for art but don't agree with your vision, and 5% or less of the people who do.

That's why so far I haven't written anything really... narratively compelling. I'd like to, but not for here. Or maybe I just don't have the motivation for reasons you outlined (and for others).

The perception thing, being policed and othered are topics that don't get talked about here in the kingdom of fluff, because as you say, it isn't the right forum. I'm lucky that I'm not on the dating scene but being trans, you kinda expect to have to tiptoe around other people's bigotry. It would be nice if on a site that was built on freedom of expression that one could avoid tip toes.

I'm not surprised to hear you've been warned. Same same huh?

I sound churlish and ungrateful.
Most of my stories have been well received and I'm grateful for that. I guess an author of any genre will garner criticism simply for sticking their head above the parapet. I suspect that my sometimes forthright views on the discussion threads have fostered some haters. Generally my story's rankings improve over time but its clear that my subject matter seldom fits the category options. I don't believe I'm on my own either, so I posted a suggestion up in the Lit site admin board.

 

[Crios]

Not really asking a question but CBS Sunday Morning was interviewing John Irving (The World According to Garp, Cider House Rules, etc.). Garp was the first major novel to have a trans character. Irving has a trans daughter and the reporter interviews her as well. Obviously, lots of love and acceptance between Irving and his daughter.

His latest novel is The Last Charlift. In the book, the only character that isn't queer is the narrator.

Hope this link works: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/novelist-john-irving-the-last-chairlift/

 

[stickygirl]

I found this on Pink News: Graham Norton speaking very sensibly about cancel culture and if you're pissed off with people who are 'cancelled' appearing your news feed every day, it's worth a five minute watch.
#IStandWithGrahamNorton

The irony is that the hosts, Times Radio, flew in the face of what he was pleading for "...don't put 'Graham Norton slams', 'Graham Norton weighs in on'..." and that's exactly what TR did, for clicks, for coverage, to bait JKR to come out and rail against the world that hates her.

I have to confess I used to think GN was a lightweight gay comedian, but I now have a lot of respect for him.

 

[stickygirl]

I need to place a trigger warning here, for rape and apologise that I had no where else to post this.

I should explain... I was listening to a song today by Stella Donnelly called Boys will be boys, which itself is pretty tough listening. But, we live in a world where rape exists and we don't talk about it as much as we should. At least we live in countries where we can talk about it though. So, I got to thinking about the topic and ended up doing some searching. I wanted to see if there were accounts of both sides of a rape outside the court room. I did and there's a Ted Talk from a couple who reached a closure of sorts, many years after the event.

I'm sorry that this isn't normal chit chat, but if you're interested to hear their account on the link below I can guarantee it will leave you thinking. I'm still thinking and I ordered the book too.
Here's the Ted Talk link

 

[Crios]

Used to be the Ninth Circuit Court was more liberal leaning...until Mitch McConnell and Trump got their hands on it...
https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out...transgender-contestants-court-rules-rcna55448