Ask a Dom

[Shagly]

*scratches head and looks puzzled*


Care to expound on that?


Fury

For some reason when I get tied up by her I wind up with with a red butt and now she said she wants to play with hot wax.

 

[FurryFury]

For some reason when I get tied up by her I wind up with with a red butt and now she said she wants to play with hot wax.

God I LOVE hot wax! I hope you enjoy!

Fury

 

[kayte]

For some reason when I get tied up by her I wind up with with a red butt and now she said she wants to play with hot wax.

Hmmmm, sounds to me like you don't care for always getting a red butt... What other things would you like?

Wax play when done with ice I find quite delightful when my Sir does it! But again we are all different sweetie.

 

[ThorkelGriersen]

Hot Wax

God I LOVE hot wax! I hope you enjoy!

Fury

Yeah Fury!!! Hot Wax forever. How much better can it get?

BTW Have you ever seen the Japanese movie "Wife to be Sacrificed?" It has the hottest hot wax scene that I have ever seen, bar none--along with incedible Japanese rope bondage. Not as good as doing it in RL but a good reminder of what a charge it is. Why, oh why. do so few Dominants not take the time to "learn the ropes." Its cheaper that cuffs and all that stuff and feels incredible. Rope will take you places nothing else can.

But: MORE WAX--MORE WAX

Hope you are feeling a lot better.

 

[FurryFury]

Hmmmm, sounds to me like you don't care for always getting a red butt... What other things would you like?

Wax play when done with ice I find quite delightful when my Sir does it! But again we are all different sweetie.

*uses Donkey voice from Shrek*

I like a nice "parfait" effect, you know, ice until you can't stand it then hot wax, then more ice on top, just delicious, you gotta love that!

Fury

Yeah Fury!!! Hot Wax forever. How much better can it get?

BTW Have you ever seen the Japanese movie "Wife to be Sacrificed?" It has the hottest hot wax scene that I have ever seen, bar none--along with incedible Japanese rope bondage. Not as good as doing it in RL but a good reminder of what a charge it is. Why, oh why. do so few Dominants not take the time to "learn the ropes." Its cheaper that cuffs and all that stuff and feels incredible. Rope will take you places nothing else can.

But: MORE WAX--MORE WAX

Hope you are feeling a lot better.

No I haven't seen it but it sounds like something I'd like to see at least those parts of. I rarely watch foreign films at all. Is this porn as well? I haven't ever seen a porn film unless you count short snippets online my husband exposed me too.

I am fascinated by Shabari though, just facinated.

I am better, thanks, tired, but better. Yesterday with my gf's and last night with my kids were blissful moments. The only thing better would have been to also masturbate and/or have a scene with my husband. He had to work though and I was too fatigued to actually go for it. Still in all, it was a wonderful day for a sick girl!

Fury

 

[ThorkelGriersen]

*uses Donkey voice from Shrek*

I like a nice "parfait" effect, you know, ice until you can't stand it then hot wax, then more ice on top, just delicious, you gotta love that!

Fury



No I haven't seen it but it sounds like something I'd like to see at least those parts of. I rarely watch foreign films at all. Is this porn as well? I haven't ever seen a porn film unless you count short snippets online my husband exposed me too.

I am fascinated by Shabari though, just facinated.

I am better, thanks, tired, but better. Yesterday with my gf's and last night with my kids were blissful moments. The only thing better would have been to also masturbate and/or have a scene with my husband. He had to work though and I was too fatigued to actually go for it. Still in all, it was a wonderful day for a sick girl!

Fury

Actually outside the USA the difference between porn and main-stream is rather blurred. "Wife" is a major studio production with all the values, lighting, cameras associated with the Hollywood majors. I promised to do a detail listing of some really great foreign films that deal with BDSM. Hollywood only knows how to snicker --viz. that "Last Exit" crap. In Europe and Asia they treat BDSM with respect and understanding.

If you liked "Secretary" check out the Japanese flic "Moon Light Whispers."
Two teen virgins who couldn't explain DBSM/Fem Dom if their lives depended n it. They figure it out for themselves. Really a bitter-sweet little love story.


CORRECTION The movie title is "Exit to Eden"

 

[FurryFury]

Actually outside the USA the difference between porn and main-stream is rather blurred. "Wife" is a major studio production with all the values, lighting, cameras associated with the Hollywood majors. I promised to do a detail listing of some really great foreign films that deal with BDSM. Hollywood only knows how to snicker --viz. that "Last Exit" crap. In Europe and Asia they treat BDSM with respect and understanding.

If you liked "Secretary" check out the Japanese flic "Moon Light Whispers."
Two teen virgins who couldn't explain DBSM/Fem Dom if their lives depended n it. They figure it out for themselves. Really a bitter-sweet little love story.

Oh I liked Secretary mostly for what happened in the bedroom later! *winks*

I'll check my library and see if they have it. I need to make a list of these and request them from an online service when I join another one.

Fury

 

[kayte]

Oh I liked Secretary mostly for what happened in the bedroom later! *winks*

I'll check my library and see if they have it. I need to make a list of these and request them from an online service when I join another one.

Fury

The initial premise of the movie Secretary turned me off from ever wanting to see it and so I haven't.

People who prefer more intense type of sexual activities are not mentally ill. The cutting theme is a serious problem and completely inappropriate as the basis of her desires....

 

[ThorkelGriersen]

Mental Illiness??

The initial premise of the movie Secretary turned me off from ever wanting to see it and so I haven't.

People who prefer more intense type of sexual activities are not mentally ill. The cutting theme is a serious problem and completely inappropriate as the basis of her desires....

Actually only her family thinks she is mentally ill and has her confined to a hospital. With her lawyer/lover, she accepts herself. Hell, as a kid I got caught by my mother doing some really serious stuff. I was threatened with shrinks, ministers etc. Told I was going to hell and worse.

A great scene in the movie is when she throws away her torture box because as the boss/ lover says " You don't need that anymore."

PS. There are people who do cutting. Not my thing! However I really can't condemn them because they might find the things that I do strange. One man's (or woman's) vice is the next prson's meat.

I try not to judge what others freely choose to do.

 

[FurryFury]

The initial premise of the movie Secretary turned me off from ever wanting to see it and so I haven't.

People who prefer more intense type of sexual activities are not mentally ill. The cutting theme is a serious problem and completely inappropriate as the basis of her desires....

Some people in BDSM have cutting issues but I don't consider them entwined with BDSM at all. I personally understand the motivation for cutting rather well. It doesn't ick me out at all. The fact that he could "help" her quit that activity to me was one of the more beautiful things about the film.

Also what she did to get through to him was a beautiful ongoing trial that I adored. He was sadly unsure as I believe man Doms are, about himself and what he was doing to her. I see most Doms I know in RL as having these issues though. So she had to do what it took to get through to him. Happily it finally worked and then they lived kinkily ever after!!!

Yay!

Fury

 

[kayte]

We all have our kinks and our limits. For some reason that movie and the premise is of no interest to me. And yes I am in a D/s relationship. It sounds like there may be valuable parts of the movie... I guess that is my loss.

I respect that most of the people here seem to have liked Secretary.

I also can't watch Marathon Man. That scene with the dentist had me leaving the theater and I have never been able to establish an interest in watching the movie even with fast forwarding past that.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm with you on the dentist stuff!

*shivers*

Fury

 

[ThorkelGriersen]

Frozen In Place

Also what she did to get through to him was a beautiful ongoing trial that I adored. He was sadly unsure as I believe man Doms are, about himself and what he was doing to her. I see most Doms I know in RL as having these issues though. So she had to do what it took to get through to him. Happily it finally worked and then they lived kinkily ever after!!!

Yay!

Fury

MY God what a great scene. The part were all the different people: parents, priests, women libbers, etc. make their speeches should be required viewing for all. And she just accepts her role knowing that what she does is right and completely justified.

When she sits there and pees in her pants, you want to stand up and cheer.
I saw the film in an indie house 5 blocks away that always has one screen dedicated to gay flics. In the lobby aftrwards a group of gay guys were talking--one said: "It's not my thing, but I really do understand these people now. They really want the same happiness that we do." YEAH!!!!!!

 

[FurryFury]

MY God what a great scene. The part were all the different people: parents, priests, women libbers, etc. make their speeches should be required viewing for all. And she just accepts her role knowing that what she does is right and completely justified.

When she sits there and pees in her pants, you want to stand up and cheer.
I saw the film in an indie house 5 blocks away that always has one screen dedicated to gay flics. In the lobby aftrwards a group of gay guys were talking--one said: "It's not my thing, but I really do understand these people now. They really want the same happiness that we do." YEAH!!!!!!

*smiles and nods happily*

I think I have a cutter down in my soul. It's come out in some of my role play from somewhere deep and dark within me.

Fury

 

[ThorkelGriersen]

Fear

*smiles and nods happily*

I think I have a cutter down in my soul. It's come out in some of my role play from somewhere deep and dark within me.

Fury

Now that would frighten me the way abandoment frightens you.

You know what is great? Really being terrified of something and being told by you Dominant that he/she wants you to do it; and you want so deperately to not disappoint that you swallow your fear and do it. For me knowing that my Domme was proud of me would stand above eveything else.

 

[FurryFury]

Now that would frighten me the way abandoment frightens you.

You know what is great? Really being terrified of something and being told by you Dominant that he/she wants you to do it; and you want so deperately to not disappoint that you swallow your fear and do it. For me knowing that my Domme was proud of me would stand above eveything else.

I would like to experience that great joy ThorkelGriersen! *smiles*

I have yet to cut myself due to my own hang ups about it but I do think I have that inside me. I understand the appeal.

Fury

 

[leeroy jenkins]

I also can't watch Marathon Man. That scene with the dentist had me leaving the theater and I have never been able to establish an interest in watching the movie even with fast forwarding past that.

Two quick questions first is where if I wanted to see the Secretary where should I look first? What is cutting?

If it's what I think it is then you would take a razorblade or knife and cut yourself. If that's the case what do you get out of it?? Everything that we do has a reward/consequence in it so what is the reward?

Kayte as for not liking Marathon Man well that whole scene is about pain for pains sake. Most people here probly don't inflict pain and duress just to do it.

 

[kayte]

Two quick questions first is where if I wanted to see the Secretary where should I look first? What is cutting?

If it's what I think it is then you would take a razorblade or knife and cut yourself. If that's the case what do you get out of it?? Everything that we do has a reward/consequence in it so what is the reward?

Kayte as for not liking Marathon Man well that whole scene is about pain for pains sake. Most people here probly don't inflict pain and duress just to do it.

Hi leeroy ~ And I am not into pain for any sake. People do have different tolerences for sensation. I am not into pain at all. Now intensity that is completely different.

 

[FurryFury]

Two quick questions first is where if I wanted to see the Secretary where should I look first? What is cutting?

If it's what I think it is then you would take a razorblade or knife and cut yourself. If that's the case what do you get out of it?? Everything that we do has a reward/consequence in it so what is the reward?

Kayte as for not liking Marathon Man well that whole scene is about pain for pains sake. Most people here probly don't inflict pain and duress just to do it.

In my opinion cutting, yes with a knife or razor blade or anything else, comes from internal pain. This is not a BDSM thing. This is a method to relieve emotional pain that seems overwhelming and is also a method most consider self destructive. When you cut, as I understand it, the physical pain and quite possibly the endorphins released from it, help you feel just a little better and withstand the internal pain just a little longer. I'm no an expert but that is my sense of the whole thing.

I found Secretary at my library. If it hadn't been there I would have checked a rental store or online rental. Unless I wanted to buy it. In that case I'd probably try overstock.com or half.com.

Good luck!

Fury

 

[leeroy jenkins]

Hi leeroy ~ And I am not into pain for any sake. People do have different tolerences for sensation. I am not into pain at all. Now intensity that is completely different.

When you say intensity your talking like your eating chips with salsa, you know your mouth will burning at least a bit if you don't stop instead you just eat more so it burns more?

As for pain just for pain no thank you. I think you said it correctly though people are different and so is there definitions of things. Pain for me was like when I had my braces put on, but not when I might slap my arm in the middle of the night on a long and lonely stretch of road.

 

[kayte]

When you say intensity your talking like your eating chips with salsa, you know your mouth will burning at least a bit if you don't stop instead you just eat more so it burns more?

As for pain just for pain no thank you. I think you said it correctly though people are different and so is there definitions of things. Pain for me was like when I had my braces put on, but not when I might slap my arm in the middle of the night on a long and lonely stretch of road.

Umm for intensity, think of the initial jolt when clover clamps are applied to your nipples and then, the chain connecting them is pulled....

But again when aroused and all of these things done during the scening it is incredible erotic. Once the endorphins get moving the line between pleasure and pain is blurred...

If the endorphins aren't going it can be damn painful!! That is one of the things safe words are good for!!

 

[leeroy jenkins]

I would like to experience that great joy ThorkelGriersen! *smiles*

I have yet to cut myself due to my own hang ups about it but I do think I have that inside me. I understand the appeal.

Fury

So when you talk about cutting are we talking about the same thing?? From my POV cutting is much like anorexia and bulimia. These are ways to exert control when your feeling powerless. Now if cutting is of the same vein why would you do it?? I know wounds heal and chicks dig scars but there are other safer ways to get the same rush.

 

[lust4us]

Actually outside the USA the difference between porn and main-stream is rather blurred. "Wife" is a major studio production with all the values, lighting, cameras associated with the Hollywood majors. I promised to do a detail listing of some really great foreign films that deal with BDSM. Hollywood only knows how to snicker --viz. that "Last Exit" crap. In Europe and Asia they treat BDSM with respect and understanding.

If you liked "Secretary" check out the Japanese flic "Moon Light Whispers."
Two teen virgins who couldn't explain DBSM/Fem Dom if their lives depended n it. They figure it out for themselves. Really a bitter-sweet little love story.

Hi Thorkel, I just came to this thread. I have a question that my hubby and I have not found the answer to, for years. Is there any place where we can buy FemDom movies that have real canings/whippings and all the other fun, plus sex? We have bought movies form Nu-West Leda that have some really severe caning and whipping movies but no sex. What is the deal? Is there some law that prevents making a movie where the Dom whips her man and then makes him eat her to orgasm or eat her ass like it's his last supper? How about her dressing him up as a sissy slut slave and then whipping his ass before she fucks him with her strap-on? I have never been able to find anything like it. I have googled it forever and never found it. What is up with that? Please help!

 

[FurryFury]

So when you talk about cutting are we talking about the same thing?? From my POV cutting is much like anorexia and bulimia. These are ways to exert control when your feeling powerless. Now if cutting is of the same vein why would you do it?? I know wounds heal and chicks dig scars but there are other safer ways to get the same rush.

I think we are talking about the same thing, yes but I don't dig scars on myself. Any flaw is intirely unacceptable on my skin. *L* I've been accused of being anorexic too. I'm not and never have been except for the looking in the mirror part. I see myself as much larger than I am. I absolutely despise throwing up. I eat or don't eat exactly as I wish. (Fresh baked toll house cookies anyone?)

For some reason cutting just appeals to me more than those other things you mentioned. It's less about denial and control to my way of thinking and more about relief. I also happen to like the idea of bleeding. I feel it would be a viable way of releasing some of the pain for some at some times.

That's why I loved that in the movie he was able to "heal" that part of her or replace it with the pain he gifted her with. If only he'd been more comfortable with his love of giving her that pain and pleasure.

Once again, I haven't done it (cutting) and don't plan on it.

As for movies I don't know where to find such things but I haven't researched it yet. I have heard some say it's hard to find BDSM film and sex together. You might try the library if someone doesn't come along and give you some good directions to the stuff.

Fury

 

[lust4us]

I think we are talking about the same thing, yes but I don't dig scars on myself. Any flaw is intirely unacceptable on my skin. *L* I've been accused of being anorexic too. I'm not and never have been except for the looking in the mirror part. I see myself as much larger than I am. I absolutely despise throwing up. I eat or don't eat exactly as I wish. (Fresh baked toll house cookies anyone?)

For some reason cutting just appeals to me more than those other things you mentioned. It's less about denial and control to my way of thinking and more about relief. I also happen to like the idea of bleeding. I feel it would be a viable way of releasing some of the pain for some at some times.

That's why I loved that in the movie he was able to "heal" that part of her or replace it with the pain he gifted her with. If only he'd been more comfortable with his love of giving her that pain and pleasure.

Once again, I haven't done it (cutting) and don't plan on it.

As for movies I don't know where to find such things but I haven't researched it yet. I have heard some say it's hard to find BDSM film and sex together. You might try the library if someone doesn't come along and give you some good directions to the stuff.

Fury

Thanks FurryFury, but I have tried the library and more. My hubby has his Ph.D. and I just managed to get through high school! But after 20 plus years of marriage to my man, I have been blessed to increase in knowledge day by day and can converse with the best of them, I think. ! (Whatever that is supposed to mean!) I still want to find some really sexy kinky movies that have real BDSM and sex in them!!