Ashes to ashes...

[Farrah]

I just found out that my sister has signed all the necessary papers to donate her body to the University of Tennessee's "Body Farm," upon her demise. I'm a fan of Bill Bass' books and find the concept of The Forensic Anthropology Center fascinating, but I have to admit, I was a little taken aback at her decision. I support her fully, of course; I'm just surprised.

http://fac.utk.edu/

I've always been afraid of death. I know it's the natural order of things, but that doesn't calm my irrational fears. The only thing that helps is knowing that my loved ones understand and respect my wishes. I want to be cremated, and I want my ashes scattered at the river. I would prefer that there be no memorial service...just my closest friends and my immediate family gathered by the water.

I wonder if it's selfish of me to dictate the ceremonial aspects of their grieving. I wonder if any of you have strong opinions on what elements we are allowed to control after we have passed on. Has anyone here included such instructions in a will or made your wishes known to your loved ones?

 

[Honey123]

I've already been told that if I wrote in my Will I wanted my body to be cremated it would not be..so..I am deciding to donate it to Science......fiction.


*actually the first part is true.

I do believe that there are some loved ones that would have a hard time adhering to the deceased wishes....I say, talk it out first with everyone so no one is surprised by what your wishes are after you pass on.

 

[Wings]

I do have a written will (which, I highly encourage any and everyone to have done, it's important even if you think you're too young to need it) in it there are provisions for my body after my death. This is actually something that has been debated in my family, hotly so when I used to think that my family would have to do this soon, my mother can't stand the thought that I don't want a stone for my kids to go visit. I insist that if they have to visit a slab of marble in order to remember me, I've not done a good job parenting them.

I have already paid for the cremation and plans. I want to be scattered in Lake Superior, preferably on my favorite outcropping of land that juts in to the water.

I'm not afraid of death anymore but I'm sure not welcoming it with open arms either.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Honey123]

LMAO..... THAT was very funny...

 

[TexasWife25]

My sister wants to be cremated, she actually made me executor of her will, because she knew our parents would not follow her wishes.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Image]

Unless it totally goes against my spiritual beliefs they can do what they need to do personally to cope. It's written down that I want to be cremated and my husband knows what to do afterwards. As long as that's not compromised and Jesus' name isn't invoked as a saviour, I'm good...

Many people need to see or say their "goodbye"s to the deceased. I was taught this lesson when I buried my teenage son. He had a lot of friends and most of the school turned out for the funeral. When the service was over the director asked if I wished to close the casket. I said yes (for no particular reason) and a girl behind me heard and pleaded so sorrifully to leave it opened. Others kids came beside her and begged to be able to see him one more time. It touched me so much I said yes...

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

I thought this'd be about cricket.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I've been here since 1012 and I see no reason why I can't keep going.

Forsooth.

 

[TexasWife25]

Uhmmmmm, they don't have a say, unless she's a minor.

I'm just probating here.

I think she was worried if they were making the arrangements they would simply disregard her request.

 

[Farrah]

I've already been told that if I wrote in my Will I wanted my body to be cremated it would not be..so..I am deciding to donate it to Science......fiction.


*actually the first part is true.

I do believe that there are some loved ones that would have a hard time adhering to the deceased wishes....I say, talk it out first with everyone so no one is surprised by what your wishes are after you pass on.

For some reason, it seems my whole family has decided on cremation. We're definitely all on the same page. We've talked about our wishes, made some jokes to ease the tension and gone on about the business of living. But this is a recent thing. No one wanted to talk about it before. I think it's because my parents are starting to feel their age.

I do have a written will (which, I highly encourage any and everyone to have done, it's important even if you think you're too young to need it) in it there are provisions for my body after my death. This is actually something that has been debated in my family, hotly so when I used to think that my family would have to do this soon, my mother can't stand the thought that I don't want a stone for my kids to go visit. I insist that if they have to visit a slab of marble in order to remember me, I've not done a good job parenting them.

I have already paid for the cremation and plans. I want to be scattered in Lake Superior, preferably on my favorite outcropping of land that juts in to the water.

I'm not afraid of death anymore but I'm sure not welcoming it with open arms either.

This is the one thing I haven't thought about...making my wishes official. I think I have had the mentality of, "I'm young, there's plenty of time to make a will." But of course, none of us are guaranteed another day. Definitely something to think about.

Some people say, and you know how some people are, that if you walk up to Beethoven's grave you can actually hear him decomposing.

My sister wants to be cremated, she actually made me executor of her will, because she knew our parents would not follow her wishes.

Why is this? Do they feel a grave site is important?

Unless it totally goes against my spiritual beliefs they can do what they need to do personally to cope. It's written down that I want to be cremated and my husband knows what to do afterwards. As long as that's not compromised and Jesus' name isn't invoked as a saviour, I'm good...

Many people need to see or say their "goodbye"s to the deceased. I was taught this lesson when I buried my teenage son. He had a lot of friends and most of the school turned out for the funeral. When the service was over the director asked if I wished to close the casket. I said yes (for no particular reason) and a girl behind me heard and pleaded so sorrifully to leave it opened. Others kids came beside her and begged to be able to see him one more time. It touched me so much I said yes...

I'm sorry, so sorry to know that you've lost a child. Thank you for sharing some of what you learned from your loss.

 

[TexasWife25]

Why is this? Do they feel a grave site is important?

Yes, I think someone else mentioned it, but my parents feel its important not only to have a spot to go, to visit and remember, but also to be buried "with the family" so to speak....since most of our deceased relatives are buried in the same cemetery.

 

[Wings]

I actually made my exhusband executor of my will due to the fact that I don't trust my mother to let things lie. I fully realize that funerals and such are for the living but there are things I refuse to do to my loved ones, like make them sit through some long service when really I expect it to be about memories and laughter.

 

[warrior queen]

I have a will and a Living Will (in the event I am incapacitated to the point I can no longer make decisions for myself).
My wishes for my death are also stipulated.
I refuse to be embalmed, and have chosen to have a 'green' cremation. I have already purchased my eco-coffin, made of heavy recycled cardboard, and should consider decorating it in the near future.
I would like to have an endangered tree planted in either the botanic gardens or the arboretum and my ashes scattered in the hole. (You can only do this if you have not been embalmed due to the chemical contamination that embalming causes.)

 

[Colonel Hogan]

Some people say, and you know how some people are, that if you walk up to Beethoven's grave you can actually hear him decomposing.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Z4W2zfWq12M/TJjIpGoXWHI/AAAAAAAADig/YenyJ05G1d4/s1600/Open+Mic+NIght.jpg

 

[unregistered]

 

[warrior queen]

Keeeerist almighty.

Having lost a number of people close to me, as well as a few who were far too young and had never considered death, I thought it prudent to be prepared.
Especially as one particular person I know was declared brain dead, yet his family kept him alive on machines for over a year before agreeing to turn off life support. I do NOT want that to happen to me.

 

[Joeybagadonuts]

Burn me; I'm a witch. I don't care what happens to my body after I'm done with it. I've suggested a steel drum and a can of gasoline to do the job of disposal.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

(in the event I am incapacitated to the point I can no longer make decisions for myself).

Somehow when you say it, it sounds like sex play.

 

[Image]

I have a will and a Living Will (in the event I am incapacitated to the point I can no longer make decisions for myself).
My wishes for my death are also stipulated.
I refuse to be embalmed, and have chosen to have a 'green' cremation. I have already purchased my eco-coffin, made of heavy recycled cardboard, and should consider decorating it in the near future.
I would like to have an endangered tree planted in either the botanic gardens or the arboretum and my ashes scattered in the hole. (You can only do this if you have not been embalmed due to the chemical contamination that embalming causes.)

I've considered it myself. At the time there were only a few places in US that allowed it. It's still ridiculously expensive...

Burn me; I'm a witch. I don't care what happens to my body after I'm done with it. I've suggested a steel drum and a can of gasoline to do the job of disposal.

Did you know? That there were zero witch burnings in the US? That all happened in Europe. Hung, stoned to death, died in prison, si...

 

[warrior queen]

I've considered it myself. At the time there were only a few places in US that allowed it. It's still ridiculously expensive...



Did you know? That there were zero witch burnings in the US? That all happened in Europe. Hung, stoned to death, died in prison, si...

Eco-funerals/burials are way more expensive than standard, except for the cost of the coffin.
I bought mine when they were first brought out and it cost me $90 plus shipping (it comes as a flatpack, much like furniture!)
The thing I like about it is that I can decorate it how I want. So long as I use green paints and glues, I can put whatever I like on the outside.
I was thinking about printing a timeline of photographs of my life (paper prints of course) and making it a celebration of my entire life, birth to death.
I also have funeral insurance, so my family won't be burdened with any costs after I die. Included in that is an amount set aside for the botanic gardens and the cost of propogating a sapling.
I am well prepared

 

[Joeybagadonuts]

I've considered it myself. At the time there were only a few places in US that allowed it. It's still ridiculously expensive...



Did you know? That there were zero witch burnings in the US? That all happened in Europe. Hung, stoned to death, died in prison, si...

I didn't know that. However, it's not too late. I know some I'd torch.

 

[pointless]

but no funk to funky? and what about major tom? is he still a junkie?

 

[sweepthefloor]

Everyone should have an advance medical directive, and a trusted person to carry out their final wishes: whatever they may be.