Arousal=sleepiness? What's wrong with me?

[teacup2013]

Hi, everyone. Longtime lurker, first time poster. I've learnt a wealth of useful information here and thought I'd try for more.

I'm switchy, in the D/s sense. I tend to top/dominate most of the time, although many of my fantasies are more on the submissive side.

Here's the problem: When I am really aroused, I often lose brainpower and my muscles get really loose, making it difficult for me to be an active participant in play. When I'm topping I deal with this by setting aside my own arousal and focusing on what I'm doing, saving up the memories to masturbate to later. I often fake orgasms, not even intentionally, just automatically, when doing this. If I have a real orgasm, it's usually only the last one.

When someone else tops me, I can't really do this, especially because I'm afraid of being found out that I'm not as aroused as I'm acting. But when I let the arousal take over, I can't think and can barely move. My whole body feels heavy and I can barely keep my eyes open. Sometimes the lethargy is so bad that I cannot deliberately clench my vagina.

So, what's wrong with me? Any ideas on how to deal with this, other than just pushing away the arousal? Thoughts on what might be causing it?

 

[GorgeousGeekGirl]

Ok, after a 30 second Google search, it sounds like something may be wrong with your serotonin, and also possibly dopamine, levels. Talk to your doctor, and don't let some shrink writing a book talk you into thinking you're some sort of childhood repressed deviate

 

[teacup2013]

Ok, after a 30 second Google search, it sounds like something may be wrong with your serotonin, and also possibly dopamine, levels. Talk to your doctor, and don't let some shrink writing a book talk you into thinking you're some sort of childhood repressed deviate

Damn. Ha, thank you for googling that - the thought didn't even occur to me. But damn, that is not a happy thing to hear - antidepressants have tended to make me anorgasmic. >_<

 

[FfordPrefect]

Damn. Ha, thank you for googling that - the thought didn't even occur to me. But damn, that is not a happy thing to hear - antidepressants have tended to make me anorgasmic. >_<

Stupid question, but do you get enough sleep? Is there any other form of stress that keeps you preoccupied or are you able to compartmentalize your emotions and feelings appropriately?

 

[76pinto]

food for thought

maybe you need to talk with your dr., maybe switch the types of meds you take. I do know that can sometimes help.

 

[GrrlFriday]

When you masturbate, do you get the same sleepiness response?

 

[teacup2013]

I really hope these answers aren't TMI. (Sorry if they are.)

Stupid question, but do you get enough sleep? Is there any other form of stress that keeps you preoccupied or are you able to compartmentalize your emotions and feelings appropriately?

I am a chronic insomniac, but even on the rare occasion when I've had enough sleep, this seems to occur anyway. It's definitely worse when I haven't slept much lately, though. Stress doesn't seem to have a huge effect one way or the other.

maybe you need to talk with your dr., maybe switch the types of meds you take. I do know that can sometimes help.

I'm actually not on medication right now, although I have been treated for depression in the past. I went off the meds partly because of the huge decrease in sex drive and increased difficulty in reaching orgasm.

When you masturbate, do you get the same sleepiness response?

Yes, I do, to the point that I've fallen asleep with the vibrator still running at quite a high speed - not something I'd recommend anyone try.


I'm starting to think I should talk to a doctor about this. I was hoping someone would have some sort of easy fix, though what it would be I have not the faintest beginnings of an idea. Wishful thinking, probably. I've had this problem so long that it only recently occurred to me that it might be possible to fix it - if you compensate for something long enough, you sort of forget that it might be possible to fix it at all.

 

[GrrlFriday]

I mean, it could be that the 'faking orgasms' part of things can be unlearned when the sleepiness is looked at - perhaps the tiredness is something to do with your body's chemistry or depression?

 

[teacup2013]

I mean, it could be that the 'faking orgasms' part of things can be unlearned when the sleepiness is looked at - perhaps the tiredness is something to do with your body's chemistry or depression?

I'm pretty sure it's just a learned habit that came from compensating for not letting myself feel the arousal in the moment. Faking orgasms is a very stupid thing to do, but I guess I've always felt like a partner expects some reaction and I do it pretty automatically when I'm doing that doublethink stuff. It's an awful side effect of this whole mess.

The depression may be it. I'm a bit daunted by the thought of trying yet again to find an antidepressant that doesn't suck the sex drive out of me, though. It's a bitter trade-off to make.

 

[GrrlFriday]

What other strategies have you been trying along with your antidepressants?

You might like to try the Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc thread for some ideas.