Are we too PC ?

[midwestyankee]

lol~ fuckwaffle, I had to look it up but that is cute…

I thought google was only picking pu the original post. I should have known better or at least checked my facts before I opened my mouth. It doesn’t matter, I’ve got to start somewhere.

I’m curious if anyone has ever heard the term Mouse Trap in the bdsm community? I did some research but I mainly came across nipple torture and things like that. I don’t know if it is a BDSM term but when I heard it, it made me wonder.

Basically, He asked "have you ever played Mousetrap". There is more to it but no point in expanding if no one has heard it.

Seems to me that Mousetrap is a children's game with a three-dimensional interactive playing board. I wonder if someone has borrowed the concept of building a mousetrap (what you "do" in the game) for a type of bdsm scene.

 

[Chiara_searches]

So I'll be honest and admit that I have not read through this entire thread. But I wanted to throw my two cents in just the same. Are we too PC or are we learning to be respectful? Language is powerful. Words can sting just as much as that leather belt hanging in your closet. Perhaps some here want no compassion, ever, for themselves. But I think generally when trying to be careful about word choices and how we phrase things, you are showing respect for the other unknown person. It almost seems lazy to not care; it seems hypocritical because I'm sure there has been at least one occasion in everyone's lives where words stung.

When I first started accepting my submissive side, I felt like "Oh great, there goes a certain amount of self-respect out the window." I no longer think that, but a lack of caring about words on a BDSM board simply perpetuates the mistaken perception many in the vanilla world have about lack of caring and understanding in the BDSM world. Dominance and submission can reach an even deeper level when there is respect. Practicing respect on the boards can bleed into other parts of your life.

So are we "too" pc or not enough? I vote for not enough because sometimes there is a wholesale lack of respect on the boards (and other times some really great support, so please don't assume I'm knocking Lit - I'm not).

 

[Stella_Omega]

I STILL want to know-- what exactly was the OP talking about? What part of PC should the BDSM public eschew lest it lose its BDSM cred?

 

[KoPilot]

I STILL want to know-- what exactly was the OP talking about? What part of PC should the BDSM public eschew lest it lose its BDSM cred?

I dunno, this pretty much gave it away, or so I thought:

It's almost like people want to make up a set of rules so that we all fit tidily in a little BDSM box.

Not sure if PC was the right word, but I get what the OP was talking about. As in, consciously or unconsciously imposing a level of conformity despite the whole point of BDSM being non-conformity.

-coughlabeldebatescough-

 

[teknight]

I dunno, this pretty much gave it away, or so I thought:



Not sure if PC was the right word, but I get what the OP was talking about. As in, consciously or unconsciously imposing a level of conformity despite the whole point of BDSM being non-conformity.

-coughlabeldebatescough-

Oh?
What's that?
I thought I heard someone reference a labels debate. My bad!

*hands you cough medicine*

 

[KoPilot]

Oh?
What's that?
I thought I heard someone reference a labels debate. My bad!

*hands you cough medicine*

Huh? Me? Nah, that was the floorboards creaking.

And thanks, though I think an anti-histamine would be better for me today. x<

 

[Stella_Omega]

What rules? Which labels? Why am I dredging all of this up yet again?

 

[KoPilot]

What rules? Which labels? Why am I dredging all of this up yet again?

Don't ask me! I'm just a noob in a LDR...

 

[Stella_Omega]

Don't ask me! I'm just a noob in a LDR...

.. A Little Dress Red?

 

[switchbitch]

I dunno, this pretty much gave it away, or so I thought:



Not sure if PC was the right word, but I get what the OP was talking about. As in, consciously or unconsciously imposing a level of conformity despite the whole point of BDSM being non-conformity.

-coughlabeldebatescough-

Uh huh thats right its what I was enquiring about

 

[Stella_Omega]

Uh huh thats right its what I was enquiring about

welll.. I hope I am known as one of the people who fight against that kind of thing.

 

[KoPilot]

Uh huh thats right its what I was enquiring about

Just went through that thread in GLBT asking for the fetish forum, and reading about what people have to say for and against it, it seems to be based on more of what you're talking about.

I got this very territorial and elitist vibe... and the basic argument was that people want a "better" place to move threads that they deem not worthy of the forum acronym and are sick of looking at... or not, as you might say "PC" enough as defined by the interests, views, and biases held by the more prominent regulars.

Being an administrator for an informational forum for the past 3 years, I get that it happens by virtue of being a community of human beings, but there are things to do to discourage the formation of cliques or de facto standards to which posts can constantly be held by other members.

Shrug. I guess sometimes, after having gone through a number of sex/fetish-related forums over the past year or two, I get the feeling that folks are way less inclusive than they all claim to be. Especially with places that are supposedly all-inclusive.

PS- I thought it was funny that macrophilia keeps getting mentioned as a fetish example (and is probably clearly targeted at me), despite seeing that only a dozen threads on the entirety of Lit even make mention of it... and half of them is due to me posting.

 

[teknight]

</snip>

Shrug. I guess sometimes, after having gone through a number of sex/fetish-related forums over the past year or two, I get the feeling that folks are way less inclusive than they all claim to be. Especially with places that are supposedly all-inclusive.

Maybe the problem is in the assumption? I mean, seriously, it's nice to say we're all inclusive (well, ok, you have to pay for drinks at the bar ), but those are HUGE shoes to fill.

Maybe we can get along without the...misplaced? ideal?

 

[KoPilot]

Maybe the problem is in the assumption? I mean, seriously, it's nice to say we're all inclusive (well, ok, you have to pay for drinks at the bar ), but those are HUGE shoes to fill.

Maybe we can get along without the...misplaced? ideal?

I guess the "free speech" part of the slogan up there at the top of the page is more literal than ideological in it's intended meaning? :B

 

[teknight]

I guess the "free speech" part of the slogan up there at the top of the page is more literal than ideological in it's intended meaning? :B

Yeah. Free speech means we can utter unpopular opinions...just like everybody else.

Anywho- you have a fetish for Excel macros?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Just went through that thread in GLBT asking for the fetish forum, and reading about what people have to say for and against it, it seems to be based on more of what you're talking about.

I got this very territorial and elitist vibe... and the basic argument was that people want a "better" place to move threads that they deem not worthy of the forum acronym and are sick of looking at... or not, as you might say "PC" enough as defined by the interests, views, and biases held by the more prominent regulars.

Being an administrator for an informational forum for the past 3 years, I get that it happens by virtue of being a community of human beings, but there are things to do to discourage the formation of cliques or de facto standards to which posts can constantly be held by other members.

Shrug. I guess sometimes, after having gone through a number of sex/fetish-related forums over the past year or two, I get the feeling that folks are way less inclusive than they all claim to be. Especially with places that are supposedly all-inclusive.

PS- I thought it was funny that macrophilia keeps getting mentioned as a fetish example (and is probably clearly targeted at me), despite seeing that only a dozen threads on the entirety of Lit even make mention of it... and half of them is due to me posting.

What makes you think these forums are even supposed to be all-inclusive? Who claims to be inclusive? Not me! On the contrary, I do NOT think that sex/fetish forums, or the members either, have a duty to be inclusive. This is sex, not civics.

BDSM does not welcome vanilla topics. The Author's forum is trying to bring the focus on more authorly topics. The editor's forum, poetry forum, they are pretty specific.


GLBT is a pretty specific label, to GLBT folk. To the het majority it might mean "Everyone who is not heteronormative by our definition" but straight people no longer have the privilege of defining that. GLBT people define themselves. GLBT folk should have the privilege of defining the GLBT forum. Yes, it is a territorial issue, absolutely. I think some of those comments -- including most of mine-- made that burningly clear!

 

[KoPilot]

What makes you think these forums are even supposed to be all-inclusive? Who claims to be inclusive? Not me! On the contrary, I do NOT think that sex/fetish forums, or the members either, have a duty to be inclusive. This is sex, not civics.

BDSM does not welcome vanilla topics. The Author's forum is trying to bring the focus on more authorly topics. The editor's forum, poetry forum, they are pretty specific.


GLBT is a pretty specific label, to GLBT folk. To the het majority it might mean "Everyone who is not heteronormative by our definition" but straight people no longer have the privilege of defining that. GLBT people define themselves. GLBT folk should have the privilege of defining the GLBT forum. Yes, it is a territorial issue, absolutely. I think some of those comments -- including most of mine-- made that burningly clear!

All-inclusive given the boundaries set by the forum, and all that seems to be set is that it has to do with "BDSM" or "GLBT", and nothing else. If it were more than that, as posters would have people believe, then I think it would only be fair to have that stated somewhere. "You must meet our requirements for what being GLBTQ (or kinky) means, otherwise you're not welcome, and you're not like us. Self-identification means nothing here," or something.

 

[midwestyankee]

What makes you think these forums are even supposed to be all-inclusive? Who claims to be inclusive? Not me! On the contrary, I do NOT think that sex/fetish forums, or the members either, have a duty to be inclusive. This is sex, not civics.

BDSM does not welcome vanilla topics. The Author's forum is trying to bring the focus on more authorly topics. The editor's forum, poetry forum, they are pretty specific.


GLBT is a pretty specific label, to GLBT folk. To the het majority it might mean "Everyone who is not heteronormative by our definition" but straight people no longer have the privilege of defining that. GLBT people define themselves. GLBT folk should have the privilege of defining the GLBT forum. Yes, it is a territorial issue, absolutely. I think some of those comments -- including most of mine-- made that burningly clear!

In general, Stella, I take your point. That said, it's not quite the case that we don't welcome vanilla topics - unless by this you mean discussions of sex in the style of vanilla. All the various political and books and movies and drinks and food threads are hardly the stuff of which bdsm dreams are made.

Example thread: "My husband wants to tie me up - what can I expect?" seems to fit in just fine, even though the OP may never have experienced anything other than "vanilla" sex. She (or he, perhaps) wants to wander into the realm of bondage and thus is welcomed with open pixels.

Example thread: "How can I get my wife to cook chicken every Friday?" is a quandary. If it were started by Imanewbiehere, who has maybe 11 Lit posts in The Playground, I can imagine some complaints that the thread doesn't belong. But what if Homburg had started such a thread? How differently do you suppose we would all respond than we would to Imanewbiehere?

 

[Stella_Omega]

All-inclusive given the boundaries set by the forum, and all that seems to be set is that it has to do with "BDSM" or "GLBT", and nothing else. If it were more than that, as posters would have people believe, then I think it would only be fair to have that stated somewhere. "You must meet our requirements for what being GLBTQ (or kinky) means, otherwise you're not welcome, and you're not like us. Self-identification means nothing here," or something.

Fair enough. We have very little control over what Laurel supplies the forums with; we work on those details day by day. But-- on the main page, the description is as follows;

Discussion of non-straight sexuality and life. Find support and friends.

As it happens, you can see by the poll that the overwhelming majority are in favor of the change. And since I can count a maximum of twenty people who actually ID as GLBT that visit that forum, it probably means a lot of fetishists would like to NOT be considered queer. There are men who "love cock" who are also homohobic at the very same time and don't want to be considered part of the GLBT community.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Example thread: "How can I get my wife to cook chicken every Friday?" is a quandary. If it were started by Imanewbiehere, who has maybe 11 Lit posts in The Playground, I can imagine some complaints that the thread doesn't belong. But what if Homburg had started such a thread? How differently do you suppose we would all respond than we would to Imanewbiehere?

If Homburg began posting nothing but menu questions, I think we'd ask him why he was posting them here.

 

[KoPilot]

Fair enough. We have very little control over what Laurel supplies the forums with; we work on those details day by day. But-- on the main page, the description is as follows;

Discussion of non-straight sexuality and life. Find support and friends.

As it happens, you can see by the poll that the overwhelming majority are in favor of the change. And since I can count a maximum of twenty people who actually ID as GLBT that visit that forum, it probably means a lot of fetishists would like to NOT be considered queer. There are men who "love cock" who are also homohobic at the very same time and don't want to be considered part of the GLBT community.

Then yeah, that's no good. If THEY feel that there could be a better place to post (as some have expressed), then that's cool.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Then yeah, that's no good. If THEY feel that there could be a better place to post (as some have expressed), then that's cool.

But gay and lesbian folk have no right to object if the GLBT forum is overflowing with homophobic men who crave being pegged?


Alrighty then.

Just for comparison sake, these might be legitimate GLBT threads;
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=740946
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=747566
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=705403
And these probably belongs elsewhere;
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=749978
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=604489
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=466714

 

[ImOnIt]

But gay and lesbian folk have no right to object if the GLBT forum is overflowing with homophobic men who crave being pegged?


Alrighty then.

Just for comparison sake, these might be legitimate GLBT threads;
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=740946
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=747566
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=705403
And these probably belongs elsewhere;
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=749978
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=604489
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=466714

yeah the glbt is largely a shitstorm, to look at the thread list. MMM u sexy. I wear nice shoe. U were nice shoe. I cum on shoe. U love gay cam? PM? I fap so hard.

Maybe the fetish board will be the solution to every problem. Fund it!

 

[KoPilot]

But gay and lesbian folk have no right to object if the GLBT forum is overflowing with homophobic men who crave being pegged?


Alrighty then.

Just for comparison sake, these might be legitimate GLBT threads;
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=740946
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=747566
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=705403
And these probably belongs elsewhere;
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=749978
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=604489
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=466714

Lol they can, but what I'm saying is that I don't think it's cool for a fetish board to become a dumping ground for everything not deemed gay enough or something, even if the OP is well-meaning.

 

[teknight]

Lol they can, but what I'm saying is that I don't think it's cool for a fetish board to become a dumping ground for everything not deemed gay enough or something, even if the OP is well-meaning.

And the "Callous comment of the day" award goes to: