Are we raising fearful children?

[*bratcat*]

 

[Closet Desire]

funny thing...

...about facts. They're seldom ever presented.

There's a load of stories about strangers abducting/harming/raping/abusing children. What is untold is that over 90% of all child abuse occurs within the family. Period.

Here in England we have a young girl who is believed to have been murderered. Who end's up getting arrested? Her uncle. In the US you have three children ages 3-10 stabbed to death with a knife. Who did it? Dad and uncle.

Cases we see in our practice weigh very heavily toward abuse and assualt of children being committed by family members. The "stranger" attack is the rare one.

 

[Cheyenne]

There are a lot of places I went by bus when I was 11 or 12 that I wouldn't even drive through now. The neighborhoods just aren't safe. So, you may not be more protective than our moms were way back then. Just that the unsafe areas have expanded.

 

[SirGalahad67]

Re: funny thing...

...about facts. They're seldom ever presented.

There's a load of stories about strangers abducting/harming/raping/abusing children. What is untold is that over 90% of all child abuse occurs within the family. Period.

Here in England we have a young girl who is believed to have been murderered. Who end's up getting arrested? Her uncle. In the US you have three children ages 3-10 stabbed to death with a knife. Who did it? Dad and uncle.

Cases we see in our practice weigh very heavily toward abuse and assualt of children being committed by family members. The "stranger" attack is the rare one.

This is indeed true...but I still want my (and other people's for that matter) children to be "wary of strangers" since that 10 % or whatever is still a danger.....

 

[Guest]

Are we raising fearful children?

Sadly, yes we are, but I think we're doing it for their own safety also.

Oh and yes I agree to make sure your kids are wary of strangers, 10% or not, it still counts.

 

[pabloback]

our perceptions change
i used to go to many places that my parents wouldnt have allowed and i got through just fine
well i am here arent i?

 

[Innocencefound]

Are we raising fearful children?

Sadly, yes we are, but I think we're doing it for their own safety also.

Oh and yes I agree to make sure your kids are wary of strangers, 10% or not, it still counts.


Silly me, that was me saying that

 

[Guest]

As a mother of two very young children, I worry constantly about someone harming them in anyway. I grew up in a tough household, with an agressive and often abusive father and a mother who stood by and watched it happen.

Are most assaults on children committed by people they know? Yes, absolutely, and by instilling a little fear and maybe even paranoia in my children, I hope they will know that it is not tolerated by anyone, even a relative. But along with the fear, we have to instill in them a high level of trust, for them to know they have someone to turn to, should something ever happen.

It's a huge game of chances. Make them aware of it, but give them the skills to avoid it, the knowledge to address it, and the love to see them through it.

 

[PacificBlue]

Yes, I think we are. I am an adult now but was taught to fear and I'm paying a heavy price for that now. I know several of my friends are homeschooling their children because they are afraid to send them to school in lieu of recent school shootings. I'm not sure they are doing their children a favor. At some point they will have to face the "real world". I also think you have to look at your children and their personalities and decide how strongly you want to send "be safe" messages. Some of us have an inherent "do the right thing" mentality built right in, some of us tend to be obessesive in personality, some of us are followers, some feel invincible, and finally some are a mixture of these. I think the "be safe" messages have to be tailored.

I think there is a balance. I watched a show last night about anxiety disorders in children. We watch our caregivers...we mimic their reactions to life. I definately agree with Bratcat and not wanting her children out of earshot or sight of an adult..that's just common sense in this day and age. It always frightens me when I see a parent walk away from a small child "for just a moment" to get something...unfortunately that's all it takes if someone is watching. I also know that I limit the amount of news shows that I watch now...I was becoming paranoid. It's hype for ratings...I'm amazed at how they can skew statistics. I think at times we are inundated with too much information. Not to say some of the dangers aren't really out there but focus on common sense, more common sense, and more common sense.

Hope that all made sense.

 

[Closet Desire]

the odds...

...are in your favour.

My oldest son got a job a moved out at eighteen. I'm very proud of that. The next one is off to university next year. The youngest still has a few years.

We have allowed them quite a lot of freedom to be on their own--going out to the clubs on weekends (we have lots here for the under 18 crowd)--going into town to shop and meet friends.

It hasn't been without crisis. My son and daughter were chased by a molester (he was arrested) and my son was attacked and robbed a few months ago.

Still, most kids will grow up safely no matter what you do. They will get their educations, get jobs, find partners, and get on with life.

I like to think that we spend more time on the positive things than reacting to the negative things--I think children respond well to that.

 

[LadyDarkFire]

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you" The safety of a child should be first priority. The "No Fear" attitude just does not cut it anymore. Schools have police and other percausions for good reason. Even in upper scale neighborhoods, you have to worry about violence, and drug use, which is sometimes worse than the lower income areas because of access to funds for the drugs. Would you prefer your child to be fearful of drugs, or getting treated because X ate holes in the brain?