Are we just smarter?

[rida]

Personally I do not think is intelligence (if meant by IQ) as much as we need to be able and willing to communicate in order to get our needs/desires met.

We do tend at time to get over analytical and think too much about both important things and tiny details. Something that it is indeed necessary to play safe.

And specifically on Lit, these are the BDSM boards of a site called Literotica. That means that if you arrived here, chances are you have an interest in reading. It self select people with little inclination for the written word and ability to express themselves, GB notwithstanding. (I personally believe that plenty of the people on the GB are articulated but enjoy the low lever banter as a form of entertainment. )

Groups also tend to select their members, one way or the other. With a lot of really intelligent and articulated people around these boards, you either learn or get bored and move on. Same as happens with real life friends, I'd say.

 

[monique_minx]

I would have to say not and agree that it's rather intimidating to write on any of these boards if you have issues with language.
People see you as being sub-standard if you can't type to perfection - admittedly I am probably one of the worst and instantly spot typos!
Though my Master is a good man and loves to write - he is also dyslexic and will occasionally have problems with words, in particular the same words over and over as I have noticed.
I don't condemn him for it in the least though he knows I can be somewhat anal about spelling (we are online at the moment).
I will say that misunderstandings on the boards just lead to a person feeling belittled for saying something at all which is why I pose myself in an overly understanding way.
I live in a pretty poor neighbourhood and most people here look at me funny when I say I like to read or tell them something historical but I do know several kinky people among them that just quite simply can't be bothered with the reading or writing portions! Many of them being quite young like me
I don't think it can possibly be a measure of intelligence when you're talking about an online forum discussion, perhaps the questions posed here are more intelligent queries (I don't know because I don't read all of the boards) but at the same time I agree that you really wouldn't come here if you didn't have some measure of understanding with the English language.
If I make any sense at all then I shall be truly shocked

 

[FurryFury]

Recently, on another board I was enjoying, someone came up with an article that said people who are out of the norm did tend to smarter. Now the norm folks didn't like it, natch. I have to say though sheep tend to be less intelligent IMO. It made perfect sense to me.

 

[rosco rathbone]

My theory has always been this:

The undeniable nerd/Ren Faire/trekkie-kink connection happens because not because there's anything smarter about pervs, but because nerds are uncomfortable with human interaction and prefer rule-based behavior, ie BDSM.

It's because we LACK (emotional) intelligence.

 

[sb2009]

All these other people are wrong, YES, we are smarter. Ignore them. They r dum.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Oh, I love the divergent and interesting opinions on this.

Such an intelligent group.

So, m, are you lurking?

 

[intothewoods]

My theory has always been this:

The undeniable nerd/Ren Faire/trekkie-kink connection happens because not because there's anything smarter about pervs, but because nerds are uncomfortable with human interaction and prefer rule-based behavior, ie BDSM.

It's because we LACK (emotional) intelligence.

Oh yes, that is so true. Although I feel most people prefer rule-based behavior. And structure. Stability. If you can't get it from church or your coffee klatch, you get it from sex parties.

 

[Primalex]

And specifically on Lit, these are the BDSM boards of a site called Literotica. That means that if you arrived here, chances are you have an interest in reading. It self select people with little inclination for the written word and ability to express themselves, GB notwithstanding. (I personally believe that plenty of the people on the GB are articulated but enjoy the low lever banter as a form of entertainment. )

Amen.

 

[BertrandRussell]

I think that there is a slight skew toward high intelligence because the really dumb BDSMers have killed each other.

 

[C130Loadguy]

More INtelligent..maybe..more self-aware, definately

I think it has more to with having arrived at an emotional/sexual maturity about one's self that seems to display those within the BDSM community as more intellectually aware than others. Most of us have (by our natures) spent time and effort to learn about the deepest parts of ourselves and how to express ourselves to others.

I insist on intellect as a basic foundation required for a sub, and have NEVER known a GOOD Dom or Domme that wasn't an outstanding communicator.

 

[FurryFury]

I think that there is a slight skew toward high intelligence because the really dumb BDSMers have killed each other.

LMAO!

 

[DVS]

LMAO!

But it could be true!

 

[BiBunny]

Natural selection is a good thing.

 

[00Syd]

My theory has always been this:

The undeniable nerd/Ren Faire/trekkie-kink connection happens because not because there's anything smarter about pervs, but because nerds are uncomfortable with human interaction and prefer rule-based behavior, ie BDSM.

It's because we LACK (emotional) intelligence.

I always thought it was more the desire to learn every little thing there is to know about one thing and absolutely obsess over it (i.e - trekkies with Star Trek, Ren Faire peeps with the Renaissance, anime people with Japanese animation, science/math nerds with science) seems to fit in very nicely with a sexuality that allows people to geek out over and learn every little thing there is to learn about specific things (rope, whips, breath play, knives, whatever), and peoples geek-obsessions correlate pretty nicely with fetishes in general.

If that makes sense.

I don't think it's a lack of emotional intelligence so much as an tendency to obsess, and to enjoy obsessing over something. Geeking out over Star Trek seems super similar, to me, to the way people geek out over rope.

Y'know?

 

[midwestyankee]

I just figure that smarter people like more complex ways of getting laid. They get bored with ye olde missionary position, don't you know? But I'm still not certain that all who employ bdsm in their lives actually norm out as smarter than the average bare (person).

 

[00Syd]

I don't think we're smarter than anyone else.

 

[Homburg]

I don't think it's a lack of emotional intelligence so much as an tendency to obsess, and to enjoy obsessing over something. Geeking out over Star Trek seems super similar, to me, to the way people geek out over rope.

Y'know?

I started talking rope to a non-kinky friend and she called me a fibre-geek because I knew as much about rope as she, a rabid knitter, knew about yarn. So there may be something to this, or, at the very least, my personal experience jibes with your hypothesis. I tend to geek about sex/BDSM the same way I geek about gaming, cars, movies, etc.

It reminds of a line from one of the "Revenge of the Nerds" movies where Lewis Skolnick says, “Jocks only think about sports, all we think about sex” (paraphrased) after he is asked if all nerds are as good in the sack as he is.

 

[FurryFury]

Natural selection is a good thing.

I agree.

 

[FurryFury]

But it could be true!

Yep, but it's not likely. There are too many dumb asses around still.

 

[00Syd]

I started talking rope to a non-kinky friend and she called me a fibre-geek because I knew as much about rope as she, a rabid knitter, knew about yarn. So there may be something to this, or, at the very least, my personal experience jibes with your hypothesis. I tend to geek about sex/BDSM the same way I geek about gaming, cars, movies, etc.

It reminds of a line from one of the "Revenge of the Nerds" movies where Lewis Skolnick says, “Jocks only think about sports, all we think about sex” (paraphrased) after he is asked if all nerds are as good in the sack as he is.

Right, exactly. Listening to the rope-guys I know discuss the different ways to treat jute rope, and which way is superior, and oh hey, let me feel your rope, and allow me to jokingly scoff at your MFP, and hey, is that silk? etc, etc, etc. Is super similar to the way I've heard record collectors discuss records, and anime nerds talk about anime, and trekkies dissect Star Trek, and Star Wars fans talk about whether Han shot first (he did).

So yeah. We get the idea.

I've discussed this take on the geek/kinky cross section with many people, and a lot of folks seem to agree.

 

[intothewoods]

I always thought it was more the desire to learn every little thing there is to know about one thing and absolutely obsess over it (i.e - trekkies with Star Trek, Ren Faire peeps with the Renaissance, anime people with Japanese animation, science/math nerds with science) seems to fit in very nicely with a sexuality that allows people to geek out over and learn every little thing there is to learn about specific things (rope, whips, breath play, knives, whatever), and peoples geek-obsessions correlate pretty nicely with fetishes in general.

If that makes sense.

I don't think it's a lack of emotional intelligence so much as an tendency to obsess, and to enjoy obsessing over something. Geeking out over Star Trek seems super similar, to me, to the way people geek out over rope.

Y'know?

So everyone in bdsm just suffers from ocd?

 

[00Syd]

So everyone in bdsm just suffers from ocd?

Haha, no, but I think that there is a correlation in kinky peoples tendency to "geek out" over particular things, and the way people geek out over more traditionally geeky things, and I think that that's why there is such a cross-section of geeks involved with BDSM.

 

[Cattypuss]

For every articulate and intelligent-seeming Dom who contacts me online, I get twenty who can barely string a word, let alone a sentence, together.

I really, REALLY don't think that BDSMers are any more intelligent than anyone else.

 

[midwestyankee]

Haha, no, but I think that there is a correlation in kinky peoples tendency to "geek out" over particular things, and the way people geek out over more traditionally geeky things, and I think that that's why there is such a cross-section of geeks involved with BDSM.

Perhaps there is some tendency toward geekiness but let's not confuse geekiness with intelligence. Anyone can become an expert in one small thing without being any more intelligent than the average person.

 

[00Syd]

Perhaps there is some tendency toward geekiness but let's not confuse geekiness with intelligence. Anyone can become an expert in one small thing without being any more intelligent than the average person.

Like I said above,

I don't think we're smarter than anyone else.

Geeky tendencies /= intelligence.